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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to move back to London from Manchester?

155 replies

NameChangeLifeChange · 21/07/2022 16:03

Don't know if I am just having wobble but recently I have felt a strong urge to move back to London from Manchester. We moved here 5 years ago with DC1 (age just 1 at the time) for a better quality of life. Have since upgraded to a decent size house and made rooms in a nice city suburb. Buuuut....

I miss London so much. I am a southerner and feel at home there, its an hour from my family instead of 4. My career prospects are SO much better in London and pay is 20% more. I love the feel of London, the bustle and access to all the museums etc. I would move in a heartbeat if we could afford our home in London but of course it would be way out of our price range. DH also loves London, works there sometimes and always gets pangs of homesickness when he is there. Manchester has a weird feel at the moment- so much litter around and feels scruffy (no offence- I do love the city!!)

Are we mad? Kids now 6 and 2.5. Our budget would be around 600K if we moved back, have previously lived in Wimbledon, Clapham, Crystal Palace but unlikely to afford a decent house in any of those areas but would be open to other areas if nice and family friendly.

OP posts:
notangelinajolie · 21/07/2022 19:24

OP it could be the area of Manchester you are living in. There is an area of Manchester which is very popular with people moving up from London. Trendy, multicultural, leafy, cosmopolitan, buzzy, big houses etc etc. If you Google Manchester you won’t fail to find articles about how wonderful it is.

But in reality it really isn’t any of those things. If you are really unhappy then you should go back to London. But before you do - check out other parts of Manchester.

x2boys · 21/07/2022 19:25

Technosaurus · 21/07/2022 18:50

I wouldn't say its "horrible" but it's just not the best for bringing up kids in my opinion.

Great for a night out, good job prospects in certain industries (pay certainly higher than anywhere else in the north in financial and creative services, by quite some distance in my experience, although not a patch on London), but more a place for living in one's 20s than in one's 30s.

And nowadays the house prices don't justify it for me, you can get much more for your money in many other cities/towns with far less socioeconomic issues.

Greater Manchester is huge and varied there are plenty of nice areas to bring up kids and plenty of not so nice areas ,much like any city including London .people always base house prices on the South of the city ,it's cheaper in the North and some decent areas and schools .

CanaryShoulderedThorn · 21/07/2022 19:25

Surrey. Lots to see and do and great place to bring up kids. Easily commutable to central London.

OooErr · 21/07/2022 19:28

Technosaurus · 21/07/2022 18:31

I'm a bit of a professional Northerner - I've lived or worked in each of the major cities and a fair few towns too. Manchester is, in my opinion, the worst of the lot.

I've never understood why it gets all the hype, the houses are expensive compared to, say, Yorkshire or the North East and it still has all the same issues of London - gun crime, ghettos, open drug dealing etc. Litter and graffiti easily worst in the North too. It's a rich city with a lot of heritage but not as outwardly glamorous as the football stars make it seem. Unlike say, Newcastle, which is an absolutely glorious, clean, city centre with loads of parkland nearby.

That said, Manchester still has excellent links to plenty of lovely places - the Peaks, Cheshire, the Lakes. It's just the city centre itself that I don't find particularly "child friendly", it has plenty to do compared to other Northern cities but I can see why you'd miss London in comparison. Personally I'd start exploring the surrounding areas a bit more, within a 45 min train you will realise why the (slightly) cheaper housing is worth it and why bringing children up there is "better" than London.

Why does it get all the hype?
It's basically a smaller London. Multiple cuisines of every type, cosmopolitan people, excellent public transport.
And, like London, it's slowly swallowing up everything around it. Greater Manchester stretches further and further with every new tram stop.

It's impossible to compare anything else to London because there's so much of it. Gun crime, 'ghettoes', whatever. They're all in specific parts of London. If the exact same geographical area was plonked down anywhere else in the UK it would cover several cities. But nobody would say that the 'entire North West' was crime riddled, in the same way they make assumptions about London.

It's also the way you look at it. To people like DP's parents, who live in a Lancashire village any town with more than one 'basic' restaurant (Italian/Indian/Chinese), light rail and a museum qualifies as a major city.

kaleidoscope123 · 21/07/2022 19:29

I feel exactly the same, left London almost 5 years ago and have a huge regret in terms of career, friendships and ability to explore and never feeling bored or unfulfilled.

If I didn’t have kids I would be back in a flash but I’ve realised that if you aren’t both earning over £150k each it’s really not affordable. Even then with the tax man’s cut it’s not that affordable with the mortgage cost you need to take out to live anywhere worth living and can you really send you kids to state schools there. It’s grammar or private and the fees are insane (unless you have generous grandparent support).

So I’m focused on getting London linked job to still have access to London and my career hasn’t stalled and still gives me a buzz. We also spend a lot of weekends in London.

When HS2 is finished it will be an hour by train from Manch to London. Although this is some way off.

Technosaurus · 21/07/2022 19:31

x2boys · 21/07/2022 19:25

Greater Manchester is huge and varied there are plenty of nice areas to bring up kids and plenty of not so nice areas ,much like any city including London .people always base house prices on the South of the city ,it's cheaper in the North and some decent areas and schools .

Yes, I appreciate that. I personally have a lot of affection for Rochdale and the surrounding area, for various reasons. But it comparable to London? No.

The OP has already bought their house so it's not a case of moving to another part of Manchester, it's a case of working out why they live there when they can clearly afford other options. I'd argue that with 2 kids and loving "bustle", being nearer family in the South has its advantages for this particular family.

I'd vehemently defend the North to anyone but it's sad to see that Manchester has gone down the "Dublin route" of throwing skyscrapers up all over the place without addressing the fact that the city centre still has a certain edginess to it that makes it unattractive to walk around with young children. There's only so many times you can go to the MOSI/PHM. Basically if you want fresh air, the North (including the surrounding areas of Manchester) is great, but if you want bustle and a wealth of museums, London is a clear winner.

coolernow · 21/07/2022 19:34

If I didn’t have kids I would be back in a flash but I’ve realised that if you aren’t both earning over £150k each it’s really not affordable. Even then with the tax man’s cut it’s not that affordable with the mortgage cost you need to take out to live anywhere worth living and can you really send you kids to state schools there.

Yes you really can send your dc to state schools there, what do you think is wrong with them? 🙄

OooErr · 21/07/2022 19:34

Also OP I get you. There's nothing quite like London. I've lived in several capital cities. The moment I get off at King's Cross I feel the buzz, and I love it. It feels like home to me in a way no other city has.

However as a city girl I'm also used to living in a shoebox flat. I'd never have been able to save the deposit with London rents. Manchester is OK, I can see myself living here but I can't promise that I'll never move back to London.

You need to figure out what you really want.

BendingSpoons · 21/07/2022 19:35

I still live in suburban London, but my life with kids is different from pre-kids in my 20s. I still enjoy post work drinks centrally, visits to attractions etc, but less often and sometimes I miss my pre-kids life. I'd be careful about what you are nostalgic and home sick for. Is it the place, or is it the lifestyle you were living that may be different now with kids and with friends moving out. Being closer to family is definitely a bonus IMO.

MadeleineBassettHound · 21/07/2022 19:39

can you really send you kids to state schools there. It’s grammar or private and the fees are insane (unless you have generous grandparent support).

wtf? fullfact.org/education/london-schools-outperform-rest-england/

MarsQueen · 21/07/2022 19:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

PotteringPondering · 21/07/2022 19:41

About to make similar move, for similar reasons!

NameChangeLifeChange · 21/07/2022 19:59

@PotteringPondering interesting! Where are you going?

We live in Chorlton which is lovely but nowhere near london level. I’m a senior physio and the jobs in london are so much more interesting and higher banded.

DH is with a company with a london office so could transfer easily with a bit of a salary boost.

I appreciate everyone’s advice and the pros and cons. I appreciate there are other cities in the north which are nicer but we don’t know anyone there so I don’t want to move somewhere completely random! I love York for example but we don’t know a soul.

I’ll look into it and maybe present a business case to DH 😂

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 21/07/2022 20:01

@notangelinajolie you are talking about Didsbury aren't you? . Have to admit we visited some friends there and it wasn't what I expected. Not awful but can't say I thought it was amazing either and it was bloody expensive too- they paid almost as much as many not too bad areas of london .

I think OP you have to choose whether the house matters a great deal or whether you can compromise to be closer to London and family- unlike others I wouldn't go for London itself much as I like it - as I think you might have to compromise an awful lot on a home-one reason I suggested Guildford is it has a fair bit of life, good facilities, good shopping, nice countryside, is a decent size, affordable on your budget and good trains to London and decent schools.

IrisVersicolor · 21/07/2022 20:03

I’m a Londoner and don’t really like Manchester so I would say of course. Move back while they kids are still young. London is such a brilliant place for kids.

Check out Worcester Park.

Cakeandslippers · 21/07/2022 20:03

notangelinajolie · 21/07/2022 19:24

OP it could be the area of Manchester you are living in. There is an area of Manchester which is very popular with people moving up from London. Trendy, multicultural, leafy, cosmopolitan, buzzy, big houses etc etc. If you Google Manchester you won’t fail to find articles about how wonderful it is.

But in reality it really isn’t any of those things. If you are really unhappy then you should go back to London. But before you do - check out other parts of Manchester.

Are you referring to Altrincham or Didsbury? Having lived in both I'd disagree if you mean Altrincham but can see your point if Didsbury.

I suspect you mean Alty and I couldn't disagree more, I think it's great. It just illustrates though how different we all are and this kind of thing is so personal.

To the OP - go where you think you'll be happiest, life is short.

coolernow · 21/07/2022 20:04

@IrisVersicolor one of my siblings is looking at WP, what's it like?

OooErr · 21/07/2022 20:19

Cakeandslippers · 21/07/2022 20:03

Are you referring to Altrincham or Didsbury? Having lived in both I'd disagree if you mean Altrincham but can see your point if Didsbury.

I suspect you mean Alty and I couldn't disagree more, I think it's great. It just illustrates though how different we all are and this kind of thing is so personal.

To the OP - go where you think you'll be happiest, life is short.

Currently in Alty and loving it!

IrisVersicolor · 21/07/2022 20:20

coolernow · 21/07/2022 20:04

@IrisVersicolor one of my siblings is looking at WP, what's it like?

It’s leafy and family friendly, 25 mins to Waterloo, got a Waitrose. I think it’s a good investment.

whiteroseredrose · 21/07/2022 20:21

Tricky one.

Manchester in no way compares to London. There's not the same amount of wealth for a start.

But London house prices would mean a major drop in your standard of living.

We moved from London to Manchester (where I grew up) partly because of the schools and partly because we rarely went in to the centre of London. Most of the time we went out in Richmond and Twickenham where we lived, but we paid a huge premium for having London on our doorstep.

I think it's a one-way ticket though. I now live in what I think is one of the nicer parts of Manchester, and we certainly couldn't afford anything similar in Richmond! My old flat there is worth a bit more than my whole house in Altrincham.

I don't think many people would want to live in a more down-market area just so that they can get into London more quickly.

You need to work out what is more important for you. Does Catford or wherever, have the buzz, or just central London. And where would you spend most of your time?

coolernow · 21/07/2022 20:23

@IrisVersicolor thanks, they like the look of it but all new to them.

NameChangeLifeChange · 21/07/2022 20:24

@whiteroseredrose you’ve articulated the dilemma so well!!
Yes a much smaller house in less desirable area could counteract any benefits I suppose.

For those saying commuter belt area- any other suggestions? I’ll look at Guildford!

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 21/07/2022 20:40

I'm Urmston and ticked YABU but can see why you want to move given your career.

whats your house in chorlton like?

The crap house just isn't worth it. I also don't think it's worth it for schools. London schools seem so fraught. So many parents end up going private. The attitude sucks listening to mumsnet. Round here its just so chilled out in comparison.

Surely there are lovely primary schools in chorlton and secondary options good and you can try for 11 plus and the trafford grammar schools if chorlton high doesn't take your fancy and your dc are bright.

Do you and dh never WFH? A crappy small house will make that hard.

Everything is more expensive in London. Taxis, after school clubs , school trips, etc. I know Manchester is £££ too but not as bad.

Plus think about cramming your older DC and their friends into a tiny house. Or when they are adults they will have to move out sooner because eventually it just gets too much living on top of you. In chorlton you can offer them a place to stay so they can save on rent and a better start in life.

I moved out of chorlton to afford a better house in Urmston but I used to like walking down Beech road for a bite and had great nights out, never needed to go into town. I loved shopping in unicorn grocery and barbakan bakery. I wish I'd bought my 5 bed semi in the centre when my land lady sold up in 2005. Could have got it for £350k! Ah coulda woulda shoulda!

Wilkolampshade · 21/07/2022 20:42

We moved back to London OP and know Mcr well as lived there while DD was at school there.
We exchanged our family home in Cornwall plus tiny house in Manchester plus inheritance and savings AND a whole fresh new mortgage for a grotty 3 bed terrace. Zero regrets.
My adult kids have far more opportunities with us having a base here and the buzz and glory of such a diverse and interesting place is second to none. The house is slowly being done up, as we can afford it, (coffers being well and truly emptied) and every day I'm glad.
It's not just the big attractions, museums and such, it's the variety and beauty of local life in my little 'village'.

WendellGeez · 21/07/2022 20:43

"You can never go home again."

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