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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go mental about lost games kits and other carelessness

31 replies

TheDullWitch · 16/01/2008 16:45

Ds1 (11 in 1st year at big school) has just lost his entire kit. An effing pair of trainers, in a new sports bag, with socks, tracksuit, shorts... sob, weep, snarl.

He says it s been stolen. Or maybe he can't find it. He didn't put it back in his locker. I sent him to lost property to scour the school. He even got detention for not having kit. So I'm just supposed to replace it all. Again, since he lost a bunch of stuff before Xmas. Which is bloody expesnnive and a complete drag.

What do the rest of you do about lost stuff?

OP posts:
Lauriefairycake · 16/01/2008 16:55

I have no experience of this but I've heard someone else say that they buy one good kit and then they get decreasingly more charity shop buys the more they lose it.

Apparently it teaches them to take more care of the good first lot.

shoshe · 16/01/2008 16:57

I would 'lose' his ds or wi or whatever he has, for at least a few weeks,

i did that with DGD stuff when she reepatedly lodt kit.

She then began to look after things

Chequers · 16/01/2008 16:59

Message withdrawn

frogs · 16/01/2008 17:01

Ah yes. Sympathies. Breathe. Aaaand again.

I find a combination of the following is most effective.

  1. Phone the school or send a note to the HoY/Form tutor. They can do spot checks on name tags to see if anyone's half-inched it deliberately.
  1. Give child a rocket re. putting stuff away. Dd1 lost a brand new school kilt in the October of her first term. Clearly someone had nicked it, but the fact that she'd left it lying around was a contributing factor.
  1. Embroider child's initials on the outside of kit. Dd1's school insist on this, or some places will print it on with little plastic letters.
  1. Tell child that lost/stolen items will only be replaced by second hand gear, and instruct child to make contact with the keeper of the second hand cupboard (usually secretary or similar) so that you don't have to hoof up to the school and sort through the stuff yourself. Depending on the prices of the 2nd hand stuff, you can make them pay for it themselves (ours is £2 an item).
  1. Remind child it is not your problem. I get so massively stressed by hearing tales of lost gear that I've told dd1 I really don't want to hear about it, and she should just deal with it herself. Harsh, but frankly I have enough on my plate.
  1. Remind yourself it could be worse. Dd1 left her £300 flute on the bus. Aaaargh. By some miracle, it was handed in at the bus garage, but it was a nasty 24 hours for all concerned.
Twiggypiggy · 16/01/2008 17:01

My DS1 is in Yr6. After P.E. on Monday he could not find his trousers so came home in jogging pants. The following morning I sent him back to school in jogging pants and said look for your trousers - was determined not to let him have another pair of trousers on.

When I went for DS2 last night, DS1 came round to me and said I still cannot find my trousers. So I went and had a look. There they were on the bench screwed up and inside out. His sweatshirt was also on the floor in a muddy mess as the other children just kept walking over it.

I am not very optimistic on DS1's move up to high school in September - so you really have my sympathies.

By the way DS2 keeps losing sweatshirts and my new years resolution is fine, if he loses one I will not replace it - he can go to school without one and be cold. At £9.50 a throw I guess I will save myself (and DH) a shed load of money.

KrippledKerryMum · 16/01/2008 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

choccypig · 16/01/2008 17:06

Maybe it HAS been stolen. Is that his fault?
If everything was named and the other children can read, it must have been stolen. Assuming they check their own clothes once in a while.
DS has come home in someone else's shoes before now and it took me a few days to get the teachers to MAKE the rest of the school take their shoes off and CHECK the names. The other boy was a size smaller so he didn't notice.

bubblagirl · 16/01/2008 17:06

just wandering wether this could be other kids hiding his stuff as my nephew was getting bullied and kids kept hiding his stuff all the time

LazyLinePainterJane · 16/01/2008 17:06

Agree that he should pay for it himself. Not the first time, accidents happen and it wouldn't be his fault if it was stolen, but multiple times is simply ridiculous.

Unless of course, it is part of a bigger bullying issue.

Milliways · 16/01/2008 17:08

DS lost his whole kit but it did turn up at school thankfully. He was in tears when I worked out how much it cost (special order top, shorts, socks, Rugby Boots, Fitted MOuthguard etc) .

The rule with my kids is I'll buy them one or two (if wash and wear required) of any school item and if they loose it before it is outgrown / totally worn THEY have to pay for the replacement. It DOES help, and also makes them re-double their efforts to trace it!

Ask him to ask his form tutor where else he can look - DS's school has loads of places kit can lurk!

choccypig · 16/01/2008 17:10

BTW for the younger gowing fast LOs, if you ever get hand-me-downs from school friends, remember to take the old name tag out. Once when I was helping, we had musical trousers after PE in Yr1 when boys were checking, but didn't realise their mums had been recycling, so all ended up back in their outgrown clothes.

xtc · 16/01/2008 17:10

My son had his pe kit stolen during the first few months at secondary. Everyone looked for it. Tbh it was the school's fault for not having lockers.

He carries his kit everywhere now.

shoshe · 16/01/2008 17:11

Choccypig, Dull witch said that he hadnt put it in his locker, so if it had been stolen, I would still feel it was the childs fault for not putting it in his locker., (sports kits here can run to 70/80 quid, without the trainers!)

chenin · 16/01/2008 17:11

DullWitch... this has happened to me a lot! The troube is Secondary School is nothing like primary school.

In primary school if you leave something on the floor, it does tend to be there the next day. In secondary school, someone nicks it. Totally different and you need to impress this on your son, IMO. My DD1 (now 19) lost 3 sets of kit in her first year of big school. Unbelievable.

I sent her off to Lost Property each time and got her hunting for it. The first time, I slowly replaced everything... Second time, I replaced what I had to with cheap horrible naff stuff. Third time... I flatly refused. I told her he had to to sort it... and I didn't care how much she got told off or got detentions, I was not shelling out for any more. I had had enough. She used what little money she had to buy some stuff from friends and then she went to Lost Property and blagged some stuff off them to keep her going! A lesson learned, methinks.. cos it never ever happened again!

A year later, one lot of her lost kit, still in its gym bag, was found on the top of a flat roof whilst the school caretaker was cleaning a gutter. She had left it on the field and another pupil had chucked it up there! It was pretty mouldy.....

crokky · 16/01/2008 17:13

I remember this when I was at school. My friend's mum told her DS to pick up all the games kit from the floor and bring it all home regardless of if he thought it was his or not. Once it was home, the mother took out other kids name tapes and replaced them with her DS's name tape! I knew this because her DD was my friend and told me!!!

Tell your DS to be as careful as he can with his kit and embroider initials on the front of stuff so it is easily identifiable. It is difficult to say whose fault it is so this time, I would give your DS the benefit of the doubt.

RustyBear · 16/01/2008 17:14

"If everything was named and the other children can read, it must have been stolen. Assuming they check their own clothes once in a while."

They don't, choccypig. Never crosses their minds.

Milliways - I still have one rugby shirt if you ever get desperate (I only wear it for gardening, so it's still in good condition....)

choccypig · 16/01/2008 17:14

If hte school provides safe lockers, then I suppose he is a bit to blame for not using it. But finders should not be keepers.

Milliways · 16/01/2008 17:16

Thanks Rusty! The last one you sent us is still safely in it's bag waiting for DS to grow some more! It actually looks in much better condition than the one he has been wearing!

Original poster
TheDullWitch · 16/01/2008 17:37

Yes, he's a git for not using his locker. His school has a bag rack where they can put stuff at breaks/between lessons. He said it was just pinched from there. Frankly, I m really shocked that it is "just one of those things" that a whole bag belonging to someone else's stuff is just stolen. It had his name on every item.

It is a bleedin' private school.

OP posts:
batters · 16/01/2008 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sherbert37 · 16/01/2008 18:09

This is a serious question - is there some sort of illness which makes you prone to losing or forgetting things?

DD is nearly 13 and I have been through cross and am out the other side now. She is like the scatty professor, very bright but totally beyond keeping hold of her belongings. She seems genuinely puzzled when she loses things. Outwardly it doesn't seem to upset her, but I feel she must be constantly having to check and double check that she has things. Except she doesn't.

I have tried to ease off, but I am concerned her problem is more than just carelessness.

Everything, down to the last roll on deodorant is named, but they never make their way home.

chenin · 16/01/2008 18:26

Sherbert my DD2 is exactly like this! She is very bright but seems incapable of remembering anything if that makes sense. It is really a case of 'in one ear and out the other' !

She forgets things and loses belongings continually. I just think its the way her brain is wired... some people are like it and some aren't.

Sherbert37 · 17/01/2008 19:57

Today DD got half way home before she realised

she didn't have her coat on. Now it has been pouring all day and is FREEZING here. How can her mind be on other things??

Sherbert37 · 17/01/2008 19:57

Today DD got half way home before she realised

she didn't have her coat on. Now it has been pouring all day and is FREEZING here. How can her mind be on other things??

fizzbuzz · 17/01/2008 20:44

Oh God, this thread........ds accused me of not buying him a pe shirt big enough. Except I had bought him 2 and he lost them on 2 consecutive weeks Grrrrrrr.....

AND, I teach in his school, and ransacked lost property and they weren't there. Everybody else's pe kit was there though...in fact the whole school's it would appear..

Fom the other side, I am sick of sending mouldering smelly trainers/sweatshirts down to lost property after they have lurked in my room for weeks on end.The lost property cupboard (room more like) gets so full, they have to sell it all off every term...no one ever seems to claim it

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