Neighbour hammering at 5.00am.

[stirling]

This is an absolute bastard of a neighbour who has decided to embark on a journey of persecution that's gone on for years. Elderlyish couple, late 60s. They're like church mice during the day but at night, they slam cupboards, hammer, move pots about in the garden, use at around 3,4 or 5.

I've tried writing, polite requests, turning up at the door in my nightie. I have an inflammatory bladder condition that causes sleep derivation already. They know about this, their daughter is a consultant urologist.

Last night at 5 I just screamed through the walls, that they're sick bastards. Previously the only thing that has worked is me blasting out my music during the day. Then they stop for a few weeks.

I don't go to the council as I've heard they don't do anything. Plus you need to record it. That's really hard as it's very sporadic and loud enough to wake you but not thumping like a heavy based sound system.

I'm dealing with so much at the moment, death of my dad, death of my niece, single parenting two teens on my own, I'm literally breaking.

How do I stop their sociopathic behaviour once and for all?

And I'm up at this time. I move around quietly. Not that I bang doors or stomp about anyway.

I am just trying to inject some reason and balance into this. We are only hearing one side of this.

OP is herself making what a lot of people would consider to be unreasonable noise. Was she responding in the beginning to the couple moving about in their echo box home at unsociable hours?

OP herself seems a little extreme about this. It seems to have got very tied up in her medical condition. I am not sure why she is threatening to involve her doctor?

these things are rarely black and what. Yes of course it is unreasonable to hammer at 5am - but it’s also unreasonable to blast music at any time if you live in a semi detached house. If she is doing is solely to piss the neighbours off it must be very loud. So we have a tit for tat neighbour war. Something needs to break that.

mediation seems a reasonable approach. Might not work - but worth a try?

Late 60s/early 70s is hardly elderly.

From what you say, things took a turn about five years ago.
You mention extensive building works which may have affected how sound affects the party walls, plus their interior design choices which has minimal sound dampening which may contribute to more noise in your house. Your neighbours may not fully grasp the extent of the noise on your side or take your word for it & the local council noise service may help resolve this as an independent party conducting a noise survey.

Also, is this the time when they may have retired? Stopped working to a standard workaday routine? Because without the regulated hours of the working week, people adapt their activity to their own preferred schedules - more larkish, more owlish. So in the summer months they make start the day at dawn with an afternoon cat nap, or stay up til 03:00 bashing out pithy comments on MN to sleep through til 10:00 😉.

I am sorry to hear about your recent close bereavements, your health problems & particularly how this affects your sleep. This situation sounds very stressful & cannot be helping your condition. However, these are your problems not theirs.

It is as much upon you as it is on them to be good neighbours. So loud music during the daytime - as you say ‘blaring’ - is not the way to build goodwill. I understand that you are stressed & may feel resentful, but you do seem to have some personal animosity towards them by your comments about their daughter’s profession & privately educated grandchildren, & relish that some music genres may affect them more than others.

You are as much this problem as they are.

I support the suggestion about mediation otherwise things are only going to get worse between both parties.

When do they sleep? I would make noise then

As much fun as it might be for posters to suggest inflammatory responses, it’s counter-productive and all that will happen is that you will both end up in a cycle of trying to aggravate each other - which looks like it’s already started to happen.

If you can’t move house, you don’t want to complain to the council, you/they won’t engage to try and resolve it then your options are limited. Deliberately playing loud music to get revenge on them is pointless and makes you as bad as them.

This you tube video has an audio file you can download and works better than music.

How To Get Revenge On Noisy Neighbours : Pranking Them Without Them Knowing ! : Payback With Audio

You will need to go onto you tube to get the audio file

I too had nightmare noisy, highly inconsiderate neighbours who were 15-20 years younger than me so it’s not always an age thing. I won’t bore you with the bullying misery they deliberately, consciously and persistently inflicted on me and my family, but like you I had choices: complain to the council, retaliate in a similar vein or move. I moved, and my health was all the better for it.

If it's that bad, record the noise and complain to the council.

My aunt started complaining about her upstairs neighbours making excessive noise, it was just normal noise and then she'd bang on the ceiling with a broom and they would then bang back. All her complaining actually made them noisier. Turns out my aunt was mentally ill and hearing the noises in her head...

They need to calm down?

How about you don't behave in an anti-social manner?

Do they realise they're making the noise, if theyre insisting it's not them? Are you sure it's definitely malicious of them?
Could it be something like heating pipes banging when their boilers comes on at 5am or something, which may sound worse on your site of the wall than theirs?

I had a water banging noise near my stop tap, it turned out to be a leaking pipe under next doors conservatory that reverberated down the pipe.

Do not at any cost go to the council about this. You will not sell your house and as you rightly pointed out they will do very little, if anything at all. I won't bore you with my story but there have been 114 police incidents, 7 families affected - all who have complained and had meetings with the council, and we are 3 years on and the council have taken no meaningful action.

Try your very hardest to befriend the neighbours so that you can have a more meaningful conversation about how the noise affects you. Don't name call or respond in anger. Wait until you are calm and then speak to them. You might have to swallow your pride, but the consequences of doing anything else are just not worth it.

The other option is to move, and I would seriously consider this. Neighbour dispute is dreadful and can (in my case) affect nearly every area of your life.

Take care and good luck.

Hurstlandshome I have found your reply to be the most helpful. Thank you for being so understanding and offering very sensible advice