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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to offer cash to other passengers for their seats on flight

414 replies

Blewitagain · 24/05/2022 22:26

I am going on holiday and have discovered I haven't pre booked seats on our flights. I'm traveling with two children. This was an oversight. I can get two seats which would leave eldest sat alone.

Would it be weird to take cash to compensate anyone willing to move seat? No one might be willing to move but I'm hoping.

I once travelled last minute in an emergency and no one was willing to move seats.

OP posts:
AmJustDone · 25/05/2022 16:30

I was asked by someone to swap seats on a plane because his girlfriend preferred the seats we were in. I told them that they should have booked them then as that's what I did and that was why. The steward said that someone always tries this (and actually said "well done for saying no"). If someone had said "I'm happy to reimburse the cost" I still would have said no because there were very specific reasons for booking those seats but would not have been offended. In my case they bitched about us the whole flight. Very loudly.

I don't think there's anything wrong with asking but on the basis that
"I wonder if would be possible to switch seats. We tried to book seats together but couldn't. I'm happy to reimburse you for any costs but please do say no it's inconvenient" would be fine

PixieLaLa · 25/05/2022 17:39

I think if you go about it in a calm and non pushy “sorry I know this is cheeky to even ask” sort of way and then offer some money as a thank you it wouldn’t be SO bad…But the idea of you flapping cash around whilst holding a toddler next to an ‘upset looking’ 12 year old is guilt trippy to say the least.

I think you should just take the hit and learn from experience, it’s really not the end of the world a 12 year old sitting a few aisles on the same plane as you. Especially as others have suggested if you make it into an exciting positive thing for him.

AntonHeck · 25/05/2022 19:45

' No I am sorry, I deliberately chose this aisle/window/whatever seat and prefer not to move. 'OK how about if I offer cash'. Just NO - so cringeworthy.

I find this a bit strange.

"Would you mow my lawn?"

"No"

"How about if I offer £30?"

Are you saying it doesn't change the equation?

dumdumduuuummmmm · 25/05/2022 21:46

LittleMissNaughty2022 · 24/05/2022 23:30

And not sitting next to your husband/wife for a couple of hours really isn't the end of the world... (most couples don't even talk to one another on flights anyway).

Don’t assume husbands and wives don’t talk. We do and enjoy sitting next to each other while chatting! This is WHY we always ensure we have seats together.

OP if you were sat next us no way in hell would we move for money so pray you’re not sat next us as I’d tell you to jog on. Lesson learned for you - organise yourself better.

Why are you so hostile? People can ask for things. If you don't want to oblige then just say no. No need to get shitty with it

dumdumduuuummmmm · 25/05/2022 21:49

@pixie5121 I appreciate your specific issue but whether you feel awkward or not is not on other people. It is entirely reasonable for human beings to ask things if other human beings. It's completely reasonable for those being asked to say no. I'm sorry that makes you anxious but the world can't stop communicating to prevent unusual reactions to questions

pixie5121 · 25/05/2022 22:10

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

BalloonsAndWhistles · 25/05/2022 22:34

orangeisthenewpuce · 24/05/2022 22:43

Anyone who takes the money to move is a tight arsed skinflint imo.

Seriously? Even if they’ve paid to upgrade…Why should they lose out financially?

RausageSoul · 25/05/2022 22:52

Our seats have cost us about £300 on top of fares. Hope you've got a Widgetsmith

RausageSoul · 25/05/2022 22:53

*wodge even!

BadLad · 26/05/2022 00:11

If I was prepared to move, I would probably tell the person asking that I was happy to sell them my seat at a reasonably uplifted sum compared with what I had paid for the reservation. I would make it very clear to anyone who cared to be listening, that I would give the proceeds to a suitable charity - say, Save the Children. That would test how much they really wanted it, I would not be criticised for being selfish, and the charity would benefit.

I think the passengers around you would feel quite nauseous at such a display of virtue signaling. Hope the crew are quick in handing out extra sick bags.

sst1234 · 26/05/2022 00:16

PixieLaLa · 24/05/2022 22:44

Would it be weird to take cash to compensate anyone willing to move seat?

Lol I think the word your looking for is bribe…Also other people are under no obligation to change their seats that they paid to allocate, just because you are poor at organising.

Thats not what bribe means. Also who said anything about obligation? Are you on the correct thread?

RunningFromInsanity · 26/05/2022 00:21

I probably would accept, if the money covered what I had paid for prebooking that seat and a bit more to incentivise me to move.

If it was a younger child or the child looked really scared about being on his own, I would do it for just ‘cost price’.

BalloonsAndWhistles · 26/05/2022 05:10

BadLad · 26/05/2022 00:11

If I was prepared to move, I would probably tell the person asking that I was happy to sell them my seat at a reasonably uplifted sum compared with what I had paid for the reservation. I would make it very clear to anyone who cared to be listening, that I would give the proceeds to a suitable charity - say, Save the Children. That would test how much they really wanted it, I would not be criticised for being selfish, and the charity would benefit.

I think the passengers around you would feel quite nauseous at such a display of virtue signaling. Hope the crew are quick in handing out extra sick bags.

That is hilarious! Would you be providing proof of your donation to Save the Children @BadLad 😂 Virtue signalling at its finest. I bet you’re one of those who feels ‘blessed’ to buy a homeless guy a coffee and then do a TikTok video about it.

Flipper1234 · 26/05/2022 05:45

I’d move for you OP and I wouldn’t want any money. I’d relish the chance to be on my own for the flight so I could read and have some Me time!

But if I were in your position, I’d discreetly ask the cabin crew to ask the passengers, then nobody need feel awkward.

Good luck and I hope you have a fab holiday.

Fozzleyplum · 26/05/2022 06:34

I was the poster who mentioned the donation. Those who accuse me of virtue signaling have completely missed the point. The idea is not to virtue signal, but to shut down the tutting and accusations of selfishness that so many on thread and other similar ones have reported when they are not willing to give up their paid for reserved seats.

The cheeky person who would accuse you of not being "nice" can have the seat, if they are prepared to be " nice" - to a charity. And everyone who would be the audience for any performance of comments and tutting,, gets to hear that too.

And why would I not give the money to charity? I'm too old to do a sponsored skydive, so this would be the next best thing!

BadLad · 26/05/2022 06:38

BalloonsAndWhistles · 26/05/2022 05:10

That is hilarious! Would you be providing proof of your donation to Save the Children @BadLad 😂 Virtue signalling at its finest. I bet you’re one of those who feels ‘blessed’ to buy a homeless guy a coffee and then do a TikTok video about it.

Show quote history

Even though I didn't use the quote function, I'm surprised that you didn't understand from the use of bold in my post and indeed the actual words I wrote, that I was quoting someone else.

Neu · 26/05/2022 06:51

Why don't you or your husband have the single seat and one of you have both children?

CentrifugalBumblePuppy · 26/05/2022 06:58

I was flying internationally with my son from the age of 10 to & from jobs (he was an actor). On the very occasional flight where we had to be separated (around the age of 12 on a full flight, some jobs were booked with only a few days notice & flights were booked by production companies, not us), he had his script, books, schoolwork, PSP etc., he’d just get on with it.

I’d wander over mid flight; usually he’d be chatting to his neighbour or watching a film. He loved the independence.

At no point did I want to wangle cash around to sit next to him. He was at secondary school (and got himself there & back every day with a 2 mile walk or cycle), was obviously working (under licence) & probably enjoyed it more without me flapping around him. He was 12!

Sswhinesthebest · 26/05/2022 07:23

My uni ds is now as independent as they come but at age 12, or even 14, there is no way he would have had the confidence to sit on his own. Those posters who blithely say, my child did it so yours should, clearly lack a bit of empathy!

liveforsummer · 26/05/2022 07:27

Sswhinesthebest · 26/05/2022 07:23

My uni ds is now as independent as they come but at age 12, or even 14, there is no way he would have had the confidence to sit on his own. Those posters who blithely say, my child did it so yours should, clearly lack a bit of empathy!

The majority will be getting themselves to school every day and doing similarly independent things in their daily lives at that age that's why people are assuming. Maybe the odd dc won't be comfortable but most would. (Assuming no ASN)

rookiemere · 26/05/2022 07:30

DS would have happily sat on his own at 12 , but that wasn't the question posed.
Some DCs mature at different times to others, plus they want to sit together as a family, that's why she paid for it originally.

dumdumduuuummmmm · 26/05/2022 07:32

@pixie5121 we aren't talking about entitled rude behaviour with hugging and puffing though. We are talking about asking people something and then graciously moving in if the answer is no. If that make other rolls uncomfortable then that's in them. Christ alive are we living in a world where we don't have normal human interactions because people can't cope?

ArabianLeopard · 26/05/2022 07:35

Reminds me of an experience years ago on a cross country overnight coach. Seating was first come first served. I had a window seat and vacant seat next to me. A couple of minutes before departure a young couple got on. There we no seats left together. The girl started loudly moaning about how she can't possibly sit on her own etc etc. It went on. Sitting alone I agreed to move to an aisle seat next to someone else. Not ideal.

We stop at the services and are told 20 minutes then bus would leave. Couple get off and leave most of their things on their seats including their coats. 20 mins passes and they don't get back on. The bus drives off. All their stuff still sitting in their seats.

I make eye contact and exchange shrugging gestures with fellow passengers. No one tells the driver.

I often wonder how she reacted when she got back to the empty parking space on a cold winter night in the north with no coat and the bus gone.

dumdumduuuummmmm · 26/05/2022 07:36

CentrifugalBumblePuppy · 26/05/2022 06:58

I was flying internationally with my son from the age of 10 to & from jobs (he was an actor). On the very occasional flight where we had to be separated (around the age of 12 on a full flight, some jobs were booked with only a few days notice & flights were booked by production companies, not us), he had his script, books, schoolwork, PSP etc., he’d just get on with it.

I’d wander over mid flight; usually he’d be chatting to his neighbour or watching a film. He loved the independence.

At no point did I want to wangle cash around to sit next to him. He was at secondary school (and got himself there & back every day with a 2 mile walk or cycle), was obviously working (under licence) & probably enjoyed it more without me flapping around him. He was 12!

Would you feel the same if it was your 12 year old daughter and they were placed like an island in a sea of drunken boorish blokes?

notimagain · 26/05/2022 07:48

if I were in your position, I’d discreetly ask the cabin crew to ask the passengers, then nobody need feel awkward.

Please don't, not if there's cash involved.

We know the airline involved here has a system in place for it to make money out of seat allocation.

If the cabin crew get involved in an off the books cash transaction for a seat move and the company find out I suspect they'll be out of the doors PDQ.