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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I should have a career established by 31?

65 replies

Bella345 · 04/04/2022 18:52

Anybody else still undecided?

OP posts:
D0lphine · 05/04/2022 01:36

@Bella345

Does anybody actually thoroughly enjoy what they do?
I thoroughly enjoy about 50%.

About 45% is fine but not especially enjoyable. It's acceptable. (Paperwork and the like.)

About 3% is very tedious. And about 2% is hideous (think difficult convos, dealing with relationships, performance issues, HR issues etc).

I feel very lucky with the above. It works for me I'm good at the job and the pay is good.

I guess nothing you HAVE to do every day is going to be thoroughly enjoyable each and every single day. That's just life!

So what I'm saying is be realistic.

autienotnaughty · 05/04/2022 07:52

Started first career on leaving school, did that for about 5 years. Had kids quite young so changed career to one that worked better for kids, did that for 10 years during which I did a degree. When dc were are senior school I changed career again as better pay with using degree, but 3 years in had another dc who has additional needs so became a sahm, went back to work when she started school but now it's more a job than career although I do enjoy it. I think you always have to be open to change and adapt.

overitall1 · 05/04/2022 08:07

Some people never have a “career”. My sister works in the stockroom in a shop. She’s happy. So no, of course you don’t have to have a career.

This! I have never had a 'career' (60s) but I have had a couple of good 'jobs'. And many crap ones in between. Why the obsession with a 'career'? I work purely so I can afford to live, leave my work at work. In fact what exactly IS a 'career'?

mummypie17 · 05/04/2022 08:15

One of my friends trained as a midwife around 5 years ago - when she was around 32/33. I became a Behaviour Mentor (not sure if that's a career) in a secondary school at 29 and started a private tutoring business at 35.

Bella345 · 05/04/2022 08:48

Yes, what exactly is a career??? In my head I picture GP, nurse, midwife etc?

OP posts:
D0lphine · 05/04/2022 09:24

I see a healthcare job, along with police, teaching etc as more of a vocation than a career. Ie it's something you're more passionate about.

Maybe you need a vocation not a career OP??

OatmilkandCookies · 05/04/2022 10:04

@Bella345

Can you have a career without a degree?
I don't have a degree and I've started a career in people management - certainly not what I thought I wanted at 16 but I'm enjoying it and it challenges me. I'm 30. I also volunteer and do some counselling in that space which I also very much enjoy, and I think as I get a bit older it will give me a nice avenue to leave management and pursue counselling if I so choose.
Bella345 · 05/04/2022 10:28

So, am I currently in a career? I work for a company with lots of prospects and opportunities, it’s very much a customer service based roll and I absolutely thrive off interaction with people/customers, however, I don’t live to work, I work to live?

OP posts:
savehannah · 05/04/2022 10:47

I am pretty happy with what I do though it doesn't make me a huge amount of money. I could probably earn a lot more in a different career, and if I hadn't prioritised being at home with my kids over pursuing a career.

I do think, while it's good that young women are encouraged to pursue a career and not just get married and have kids, it's a shame that being "just a mum" isn't seen as having more value. When I was at school it was all about university and career and if I'd said the truth, "I'd really like to have kids" Id have been criticized for not using my education and intelligence in a job.

Rapunzel91 · 08/05/2022 18:22

I'm 30 and currently retraining into accounting. Had a non related degree before that but lost the 'love' for the field. Currently not working and focusing on being with my 3 year old and studying. Was working full-time until she was 2.5 and then decided I needed a break and some time with my child. In my view theres years and years of work left.

muppamup · 08/05/2022 18:24

43 and moving sideways at the moment into a different area (tho a bit similar to what I did before).

Junepassing · 08/05/2022 22:28

No it's not too late! I'm 32 and going to starting uni in September to study physiotherapy. I was very academic at school but I never really decided what I wanted to do so did low paid part time work and was a housewife the rest of the time. I've really enjoyed the last 12 years and I have had achievements and feel like I've contributed to society, but I finally feel ready for more of a career. The course I applied for is incredibly competitive and when I initially applied I was convinced I wouldn't receive a place, so I'm really happy and it's given me the drive to go for it. Whatever you decide to do you'll always have some element of doubt about whether you're doing the right thing. I would think about what appeals to you the most and do some research from there. Good luck!

spotcheck · 08/05/2022 22:32

D0lphine · 04/04/2022 19:38

@FruHagen

Forgot to add - Mothering will also delay, derail or delete a career and that's also something we should accept and adjust for. So 30 is as good as 20 and as good as 50 or even 60. We need to allow people their own timeframes.
No it's NOT something we should accept! It isn't the 1950s.

But yet, it does
We do women no favours to pretend having children doesn't generate compromise

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