.....to regret moving house?

[bigbumhole]

We moved house over 18 months ago from a 3 bedroomed house in quite a rough area.

Apart from the area, it was ok. Doctors surgery, toddler groups, leisure center, shops, post office and pharmacy were all within a 2 min walk and public transport was every 15min.

DD had a reserved place in the local primary school (she's 2 now) and parking was easy outside the house. (but once again, it was in a deprived area, lots of crime and break-ins, and me and DP both agreed we didnt want the kids growing up there)

We sold that house and bought another one in a much nicer, upper class area. Downside is, its a 2 bedroomed so we lost a room (we have 2 kids), its rural and need a car to get to anywhere (even to get milk) and its miles away from DP work (hour+10min commute each way, as in the old house it was 15min), and we cant get DD into any of the local primary schools.

It was my idea to move, although DP agreed, it was me that was driving the idea.

If im honest, we rushed it, and as our new house is in a rural area i feel really isolated as im a SAHM.

We have a set mortgage that were tided into for the next 5 years, plus we cant afford to move again!

If im honest, i really regret moving house. I've sort of half mentioned it to DP how i feel, but his attitude is "well this is what you wanted babe" which is fair enough, and at the time it was what i wanted.

Its a lovely house, small, but lovely, but i cant seem to make it feel like "home", and i miss our old house (well the convenience of it), despite moving almost 2 years ago.

I just feel like im stuck in such a rutt. Am i being unreasonable to feel like this as all this was my bloody idea?

Also, are those 80 all 'first choice' applications? Many of them could be people who have put the school down as second choice so they are far less likely to get a place anyway.

I would find it surprising for a school in such as rural area as you are, had THAT many people clamouring for a place at one time....are there that many 4 yr olds in your village at any one time IYSWIM?! Though I guess if the next school is 13 miles away the catchment is extending out a bit.

I'd get some info from your LEA, it's probably on-line. Good luck. I too think your place sounds great and as if it will be good in the long run...hope you feel more settled soon.

YANBU, it's diffucult to understand who isolated you can feel living away from local amenities. I decided tow days after moving into a lovely house that I was lonely, adn had to spend 2 1/2 years feeling left out - most of my friends still lived in the town centre, and didn't drive (which is why they lived in the town centre).

I think you need to explain to your DH that you've made a mistake, and don't feel you can happily bring your children up there. Let him know that you need to move as soon as you can afford to.

YANBU, it's diffucult to understand who isolated you can feel living away from local amenities. I decided tow days after moving into a lovely house that I was lonely, adn had to spend 2 1/2 years feeling left out - most of my friends still lived in the town centre, and didn't drive (which is why they lived in the town centre).

I think you need to explain to your DH that you've made a mistake, and don't feel you can happily bring your children up there. Let him know that you need to move as soon as you can afford to.

Sorry I wasn't suggesting you weren't telling the truth just that it would be unusual to have such a small school serving that wide an area and continually being so oversubscribed without there being other provision. Are you near a county border, for example, as you may find you could apply for schools in the next LEA. Worth asking your neighbours about their experiences.

No YANBU, it happens. You cannot tell how it will be living in such a differnt place just from driving around it and looking inside a few houses. That said, you are now going to have to learn to adapt to your new(ish) situation. I've lived in the same house for nearly 6 years yet I didn't feel at home here until last year despite me being the one wanting to move to the area at the time. For the same reasons as you, we too are unable to move.

I felt more at home by making a real effort to get to know the area and its people (not easy they are a miserable lot in our little hamlet at times ). I think tbh getting to know the area helped more as I found places I liked first and eventually met like minded people there. You will get used to having to drive just to get milk etc, we got round it by getting a milkman to deliver as the run to the shop was costing lots (in impulse buying as well as petrol ).

Sorry only read the OP so hope I haven't repeated what everyone else has just said. It gets better, it takes time, it is worth it for your DD. Not sure how you can't have a place at your local school so will read up on what has been said about that already

YANBU but neither is dp. I can sympathise in many ways. We moved from a lovely area of a lovely town with everything in walking distance, all very convenient (and without the crime problem etc) for one simple reason: I couldn't get work there.

So we moved up to Leeds, which I hoped would be okay, even though the area - whilst fine - has nowhere near the cluster of amenities we were used to. It's my dearest wish to move back to where we were if I can ever find a job that will allow that (unlikely, to be honest). Part of my hope was based on knowing a number of people here already from uni days. Unfortunately that didn't work out as planned and I'm not in contact with any of them, so more or less as isolated as I was where we lived before.

My mum moved into what I charmingly described as a 'rural hell hole' 13 years ago. Within about 2 years she felt as you do (albeit without small children, we had left home by then!). It was very isolating and I think if they hadn't bought a second home on the coast when my step-dad retired she would have gone round the bend.

As others have said, you have to make the best of it now. We live and we learn! Next time you will be able to use this experience to guide where you buy. There will be other mums of young kids locally, you just need to seek them out. Can your new hv help? Mine got me in touch with loads of groups when I moved here.

It took me nearly 18 months to settle when we moved.We moved out of a lovely,big solid Edwardian terrace i8n the centre of town,to a 1960's 3 bed semi,with cardboard walls,needing loads of work,in a tiny village.I was shocked at how isolating I found it,especially as I'd grown up in the next village & had an idyllic childhood.DD2 was just 3 weeks old & I could go all day without seeing anyone.

However,I made the effort to take the dd's out for a walk every day,joined in a couple of committees,got a job locally & soon felt better about the move.2.5 years later,I wouldn't go back,but still miss my lovely old house.I don't miss,he noise,crime & pollution though.

I hope things settle down soon for you