AIBU for not wanting ny collegue to comment about my husband?

[MoreHolidays]

So I usually work from home but I have to go to the office every other week or so for a meeting. I became fairly friendly with most of my colleagues. We went out for drinks after work about a month ago but then I left with my partner to go see a film. She made a comment about how good-looking he is. Now every time I see her she says something to the effect of how attractive he is. She'll mention a FaceBook picture I posted of us on the beach or ask about our sex life. This has never happened to me before. I've never spoken or been asked about my sex life with any of my friends, even my close ones. Nor have they said anything about his looks.

I'm not jealous nor am I offended that she notices my partner. She can check him out however much she wants to. I'm glad other women can appreciate him. I notice handsome men all the time, but I don't speak about it to their partners.

I complained about this to another friend, and she said it was my fault for having a good-looking partner in the first place.

You shouldn't have added her as a FB friend if she is a colleague who you don't feel you have become particularly close with. Having said that, are you getting the vibe she's making these comments because she's surprised that you 'managed' to get him?
Just delete her from your FB and if she asks you any more questions at work just tell her you don't wish to discuss your private life at work.

@VladmirsPoutine

You shouldn't have added her as a FB friend if she is a colleague who you don't feel you have become particularly close with. Having said that, are you getting the vibe she's making these comments because she's surprised that you 'managed' to get him? Just delete her from your FB and if she asks you any more questions at work just tell her you don't wish to discuss your private life at work.

At first I thought we were quite friendly. It was only after adding her that she started talking like this.

As for her being surprised that I manages to get him, I don't think so. I'm in good shape myself and she's even complimented me on my figure several times.

She’s a swinger and testing the water to see if you’re both up for it??

@BathshebaAndGabriel

She’s a swinger and testing the water to see if you’re both up for it??

Neither of us would be.

I was just replying to somebody who asked me how I managed to never discuss my sex life.

I don't think passing comment on him being good looking is an issue (I've said the same about friends/colleagues partners if I'm shown a picture.) That's a compliment!

Making comments about your sex life is off though.

Tell her you're sure she'll see it as you feeling threatened by her comments, but you're not and she's really overstepping the mark.

Your sex life is not a subject for conversation with work colleagues. Make it very clear and if it persists, sadly it should become an HR matter.

Urgh, what a drama you're making out of this. Saying you have a good looking husband isn't a massive taboo. Asking about your sex life is odd. Next time just say "none of your bloody business madam" and move on.

Just delete her as a FB friend. If she comments and asks why, tell her you're finding her comments about your DH and your sex life to be grossly inappropriate

A colleague of mine looked up my OH on his professional directory and mentioned how good-looking he is.

I wasn't sure whether to be a) impressed by her interrogative skills (OH and I don't share a last name), b) creeped out by her interrogative skills (see point a)), c) complimented or d) annoyed.

A lot of emotions all at once.

@Spidey66

I don't think passing comment on him being good looking is an issue (I've said the same about friends/colleagues partners if I'm shown a picture.) That's a compliment!

Making comments about your sex life is off though.

I hadn't shown her a picture. She said it after seeing him in real life and said it again after seeing our FB picture. It was always unsolicited.

How would you feel if your husband's friends told him that you have a nice bum or a good body?

@Everanewbie

Urgh, what a drama you're making out of this. Saying you have a good looking husband isn't a massive taboo. Asking about your sex life is odd. Next time just say "none of your bloody business madam" and move on.

How would you feel if your husband's friends told him that you have a nice bum or a good body?

''Now every time I see her she says something to the effect of how attractive he is. She'll mention a FaceBook picture I posted of us on the beach or ask about our sex life.''

No, see that's gone into weird/OTT territory.

I've had a couple of friends over the years who have said DH is a looker when they've seen him or a pic of him ONCE. But they've not said it again and gone on about it.

YANBU OP.

Whisper shame she won't see his dick. And smile.
Give her no head space op...

If she's making you uncomfortable, unfriend her.

This thread feels like a humblebrag.

I'll admit there probably is a line. If a colleague said he was good looking, I would take it as a compliment and be a tiny bit smug. Specific body parts would probably start to make me uncomfortable and start to get a bit weird.

Reply something along the lines of "ewww please stop perving on my husband" or "I get that you fancy my husband but please keep your perving to yourself", however you do it just plainly show that she has crossed a line.

There are lots of solutions here that you could choose from. There's nothing more to say. Talk to your friend, colleague or whoever she is, in your own words. It's grossly inappropriate

I'd go to HR myself. Out of order.

Inappropriate asking about your sexlife but your DP needs to stop making public posts showing his body (you've said shes commented on his abs/bum) as assuming they're not fb friends. Tbh I would be looking at this in a different direction than you are.......

Seriously? Why would you not just tell her to bugger off?

Absolutely. I have select past colleagues on Facebook, but never current ones.

She might treat that as a challenge!