Any advice please- thinking about dropping out of uni

[ToastedCheese0]

I think I want to drop out of uni but I don’t want to let down my family. I know they’ll be supportive but deep down disappointed as I’m on a course which will lead to a job with great prospects in terms of salary and job availability. I previously dropped out of a course and changed to this one and I really enjoy it and I’m a straight A student, but I’m suddenly worried I won’t be good enough when I’m graduate and the worry is making me want to quit and drop out . I’m in year 3 of 4, so I don’t know if I’m just stressed because of exams and deadlines and it’s making me feel this way, or maybe it’s normal and everyone goes through a phase or being unsure if they still enjoy their course, I’m not sure.

But on the other side, I don’t have anything I could do instead and have used 4 years of funding for course fees already (3 for this course, 1 for the course I changed from) so would have to pay if I went back to uni in the future. I’m so close to being finished so I know I’ll be better to keep going and graduate, even if I decide not to work in this field.

I still really want to do the job and I think I enjoy the course but I feel so confused now. Has anyone else been in this position and have any advice?

I think it’s very normal to be stressed about exams and deadlines. And stress can manifest in lots of ways. Your self doubt could well be due to stress.

Can you try not to think too much about after you graduate? You’ve a lot going for you. You enjoy your course AND you are doing well. That’s great. Try to enjoy this stage without worrying too much about the next stage if you can.

And even if you decide not to work in the field you are studying you will have the degree. And you can take some breathing space if you need.

Don't stop your course! Talk to people! Well done for posting. I think you need to open up about how you are feeling to someone in real life. Do you have a tutor who has pastoral responsibilities.

Make an appointment to see your personal tutor. Don't drop out but maybe ask for a leave of absence while you decide.

Don't drop the course.
Does your uni have counseling? It'd be good to talk to someone about it.

Keep going. You can change career direction once you graduate via a postgraduate course, professional exams, or just by taking jobs in another field. If you drop out now you’ll never get undergraduate funding again. That would be an awful situation for a very bright person to find themselves in.

If you’re happy to tell us your subject, and any career aspirations, someone might even be able to make more concrete suggestions about how to proceed after graduation.

I nearly dropped out of my first degree several times but I've been so glad since that I stuck it out. Can you talk to your personal tutor or your counselling service in the first instance?

Even if you decide on a different career when you've obtained your qualification, a degree still opens so many doors, educational and career wise. And there are lots of jobs out there that just like applicants to have a degreee, regardless of the subject, as it shows stickability and that you can make a case for decisions and how you think. Good luck.

You're so close if you're in year 3 of 4 (my degreee was also 4 years), please see what support your educational establishment can offer you to help with this final push.

Yes, I think it’s very normal to have doubts and yes I nearly chucked it all in too. I think it’s probably the pressure of your deadlines and exams. Plus you’ve done Uni in the unprecedented times, it’s been a weird two years. I also think there’s a thing about 4 year courses, they seem that bit more of a stretch.
Talk to your personal tutor, or student counselling service ( not sure what they call them these days) You’ve come this far, I think you’d regret giving up and talking it over will help.

The first thing you need to do, is stop being so hard on yourself, stop comparing yourself to others, stop beating yourself up, and feeling like you're not good enough, that you don't study enough, or don't read enough. You are good enough, you yourself are enough. If you weren't good enough, you'd be getting kicked off the course. You're obviously very bright, and conscientious, and aware of what and why you're feeling like you are.

It sounds like you're stressed out, and that you're having a wobble, my dad used to say that if you're worried about something it means you care. You said that you enjoyed the course at the beginning, why did you enjoy it? Once you figure that out, you can start thinking about the course in terms of that, you're doing it because you enjoy it. Don't think about future employment, or specific jobs, and salaries. Just find the joy in learning right now. You're gaining knowledge in a subject you enjoy, that's enough for now. Also please go to student services and get some support, they can be brilliant with things like this, and especially after Covid, there's bound to be a lot of stress surrounding exams, tutoring, and stuff like that.

Also with any degree, there are transferable skills to different careers, your future job isn't necessarily set in stone.

I dropped out of uni at 19 in my first semester, it one of my biggest regrets. I then enrolled at the OU and dropped out again at 25, 27, and last year at 34, in total it will have taken me 12 years to complete a 3 year degree, I'm retaking this year for the second time, and I'm hanging on by a thread, if I drop out again I won't be able to finish my degree.

My tutors are on strike at the moment and I'm drowning, literally, I'm about 6 weeks behind in my studies and I don't know where to start, I have 2 more assignments then an exam, thankfully it's a seen exam and I can study to the questions, but I still have the guilt, anxiety, stress, shame. I do have ADHD, but still.

I hope I'm not coming across as condescending, that isn't my intention. Look up imposter syndrome, where even though you're fully capable, you feel like a fraud.

Good luck, I fully believe that you will be OK, and that you will finish your degree, and that you will do well in whatever career you choose.

Whatever you do, don't drop out!

What support does your uni offer? You sound like you need some professional help with developing a "toolbox" of coping strategies. I swear by therapy for this - I have high functioning anxiety (diagnosed in my early twenties), and my therapist taught me new skills on how to manage it, identify triggers, and understand its impact on my life.

I was in your shoes and I had counselling with the college. It really helped. You must feel a huge pressure on yourself. Talk to your friends and family also. I finished my degree and have a career set for life. I am so glad I pushed throw until my degree was completed.

Stay on your course. I had this exact same thought process when I was at uni. Maybe it's a rite of passage.

But I'm so glad I kept going. And I was good enough after all, despite my awful self doubt.

Stay on the course. Just get through it. If you do the exams and coursework this year, make sure you have a good break over summer and then bash out that last year - it's on 24 weeks of teaching. That's nothing. Do not throw away 3 years for the sake of another few essays. You'll always regret it.

Only

Don't worry about the future too much. Don't worry about jobs and careers, all your job is currently is to finish this course. That's your only focus. Having this degree will give you many, many choices in life, no matter what it is in. Maybe after graduation you'll take a year off travelling or maybe you'll go and work in tesco? It doesn't matter. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. You don't have to, and you actually can't, plan your whole life at this point. You can do it.

Its VERY normal to feel overwhelmed at this point.

I had a major wobble too around now - I had serious physical health issues that almost made me drop out.

Im so, so, glad i didn't.

I don't think covid is making anyone's degree much fun... But just think by June NEXT year... It really isn't that long... You'll have a degree tucked under your belt....

Id really talk to student counselling... Im sure they can reassure you, that this is soooo normal!

Definitely don’t drop our at this stage if you like the course etc. sounds like you’re having a crisis of confidence and you need to speak to the appropriate people at uni.
My daughter dropped out last year and changed course - thankfully all is ok now - but that was the first year, mostly in lockdown!
Good luck!

Keep going!!
Do not drop out.
Talk to your academic tutors, student guidance, and ask for counselling if you are really struggling.
But do not drop out at this stage.
It would be different if you were sayong you had always disliked the course, or you were not coping with the work, but that is not what you are describing.
It sounds much more like a very normal wobble, mixed up with a dash of imposter syndrome and a fear of the future unknown. All very normal.
It is not sunk cost fallacy to say in your case that you have come so far and spent so much on this. You really have, and there are way more benefits to continuing than to giving up. Way more.
You can do this, and that qualification under your belt will be worth so much, even if you do decide not to go into that field.
You can do this.

This is so, so normal to have these doubts @ToastedCheese0 - I think an awful lot of students feel this at some time during their course. You’re a little overwhelmed at the moment but it’ll pass. Break it all down into bite sized chunks. Make a list of what you have left to do this semester and get through the next deadline. Allocate time to each task left and promise yourself you won’t look back once a assessment or exam has been completed. Then take the next job you need to do and focus on just that alone. You can do this!! Good luck!

@ToastedCheese0 - I agree with others do not drop out if you enjoy the course & you are doing well. It is perfectly normal to worry about what happens after you graduate. I did & bizarrely I got a job and wasn't bad at it.

If you are worried about how you may do when you graduate , you don't necessarily have to take a job directly associated with your degree. But this far through I would focus on getting the degree - deciding jobs etc I would say just for the moment is a problem for "Future Toasted Cheese " It's a way away

Honestly I would just concentrate on the degree for now & let what happens afterwards be parked for a while as far as worrying goes.

You will never regret having your degree. Stay with it.

It sounds like midterm blues. You are far enough into your degree for it no longer to be really exciting, you aren't telling everyone how excited you are to be doing the degree. You can no longer really see the longer term goal, you just see the work, the slog around you. The work is getting harder, so you have to put more effort in, but the reward is not yet tangible.

It is a bit like climbing a mountain. At the bottom you are strolling around telling anyone who will listen that you are going to climb that. Your equipment is all ready and sparkling clean and you are excited for the challenge. Right now though you are halfway up battling through the undergrowth in a forest. You can't see the wood for the trees, leave alone the mountain you are climbing or the scenery. Soon though you will be above the treeline. It will still be a hard slog but you will see the summit, you can see your goal. You might decide that actually that is it for you and you will go into that profession or you might see a different mountain you want to climb.

The final year will definitely be challenging but the end is in sight. You will be able to think just a few more months/ weeks etc. At the moment that goal is not currently tangible.

A very wise professor explained this to me when I was in your position and now I explain it to my students.

I would try to take a little time off, go away, go to your parents, to a friend somewhere else or maybe just enjoy the place you live in as a tourist. You might not even need very long. Talk to both the department and to student counselling services. In the longer term too make an appointment to speak to the careers service about different job options with your degree. There will be people who have completed it who haven't gone on into that profession. Maybe over the summer, assuming you get a good break, see if you can find relevant work experience both in your assumed profession and in something which builds on the same skills but is different.

Finish your course and then take a year out travelling or working in an unrelated field to reassess your life. Your degree is a safety belt, don't cut it when you're so close to graduating. A friend did this and has regretted it bitterly as she's only ever had nmw jobs since.

Keep going. You have gone so far it would be a shame to drop out at this stage.

@YouCantTourniquetTheTaint contact the SST. You can also contact your tutor or put a message on your cluster forum. Not all tutors are striking, and those who are still would not want you to be feeling like this. We want our students to succeed. Someone will be able to talk to you. They will be able to arrange a support session (ISS). If you are still at level 2 then don't worry too much about the grades yet, level 3 counts for much more.

Send a couple of emails today and get some support in place.

I had this in the last year of my degree. It was nursing so we did placements and my first placement of third year I was having a tough time, I had moved in with my inlaws, DH had been sent abroad, I had a 2 yo who wasn't coping so well and I got a mentor who just left me to do literally everything and the patients were so unwell I was constantly stressed and felt so overwhelmed. I really thought I was failing every day and wasn't sure if I wanted to be a nurse. I didn't know if I wanted the responsibility. No one else seemed to feel the same way and I was studying for my finals on top of full time shifts on placement and all my home responsibilities.

But the cloud cleared, I got through my final exams and the horrible placement and made it to the end. You are passing well, you absolutely can do it and will be competent for your graduate role by the time you get there. And if worst comes to worst and you absolutely don't want to do it that's ok, having a degree on your cv makes a big difference for a lot of jobs. My DH has 15 years very technical experience and is headhunted for a lot of roles but there is a ceiling on certain jobs for him because he doesn't have a degree, you don't want to regret it years down the line when you are passing well at the moment.