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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did you have any parental help when buying first house?

499 replies

forceofagreattyphoon · 07/02/2022 14:37

Obviously inspired by all the Kirsty allsopp stuff about buying first houses.

Did you have any help from parents or partners parents in any way?

We didn’t get any ‘direct’ money but were only able to save a deposit by living with my parents for very-low rent for 2 years. So technically they did help a lot financially with the process. A lot of people wouldn’t have this option so I am very fortunate and wouldn’t have been able to do it otherwise.

I’d say about 80% of people I know my age (late 20s-early 30s) have all had some form of parental help when purchasing their first house. Ranging from the whole deposit gifted or help with all the fees.

OP posts:
Curlyshabtree · 08/02/2022 05:04

Nothing. Bought house on 100% mortgage. Slid into negative equity but now worth slightly more than we paid 15 years ago.
Have had practical help from parents. However, DF gave us 5K to convert into a 3 bed from compensation he received after an accident.

bonetiredwithtwins · 08/02/2022 05:16

No

Owned house for 10 years now since my late 20s

I lived in house shares and saved every penny I could.

I didn't go on fancy holidays (or any holidays really) didn't have latest the clothes or gadgets

It can be done if you live a bit frugally I agree with Kirsty that most young people today don't want to do that and would rather blame someone/anything else

JustTryingouthere · 08/02/2022 06:18

Not a penny from parents . I got my start in my mid 20s, by my grandmother taking out a loan in her name which I paid back over 7 years and this was used to purchase my first property, it helped catapult me to doing greater things. I received my inheritance from her two years after purchasing property 1 (£30k) and used this to buy number 2. She is the light of my life and without her I would not be where I am today. I'm extremely fortunate. Now my parents Grin I would still be holding my breath- bless em

QuentininQuarantino · 08/02/2022 06:30

Yes. Flat was 500k, all we could get for a mortgage was 350k so FIL gave us most of that and my dps the rest. Rent was crippling so we could not save and the job is very site specific so we can’t move elsewhere.

Tynetime · 08/02/2022 06:31

Nope. My parents did not have the cash. I did get help with my first car though.

JustTryingouthere · 08/02/2022 06:33

@2bunny Grin sorry but this cracked me up! Don't discount the prayers

QuentininQuarantino · 08/02/2022 06:35

Should say that that was a couple of years ago, we’re early 30s. It’s a flat so it’s not the height of luxury. Rent (also flat) was 1500pcm mortgage is 1000. Academics salaries. No holidays.. not sure how we were supposed to save 150k!

2bunny · 08/02/2022 06:45

@JustTryingouthere I have so many more that will crack you up, Fil putting his hand on the head said a pray to say I'm healed now after I broke my wrist safe to say it did not heal, he's still not sure why 😅

Woolandwonder · 08/02/2022 06:55

None. Hence me and DP still saving at 40+ The problem is house prices seem to be increasing faster than we can save. I'm also limited in my saving potential as I have a chronic illness and am not well so can only work part time. I think we'll get there eventually (assuming I manage to stay in work) but it's a frustratingly slow process.

Whoopsies · 08/02/2022 06:56

No. We weren't given any money. We lived in rented accommodation with our first DC and just scrimped and saved! My DH has always been good with money and saved with a work saving scheme for a long time. We are also 'lucky' to live in a nice area but with relatively low prices (north west) so only needed about £17k in total to buy (deposit and fees etc)

Diditreallylookawful · 08/02/2022 06:58

No.

Fifipop185 · 08/02/2022 07:12

No financial help, apart from us living with our parents until we moved in together at 20 in the late 90's. The flat cost £56k and we paid 5% deposit of £2800. Felt like a fortune to us at the time as neither of us were high earners.

DD will want to move out in the near future and I just don't know how she will do it. We couldn't afford to buy our current house again, we just got lucky with the massive rise in property prices allowing us to upsize in 2007. I'd like to say we could help her with a lump sum but we just wouldn't be able to do it.

2DogsOnMySofa · 08/02/2022 07:15

Nope nothing. Bought in the early 90's

FlamingRoses · 08/02/2022 07:17

Yes. Gifted early inheritance.

Thatbliddywoman · 08/02/2022 07:24

No. I bought a very cheap, derelict house in a decent ish area (shithole really, but near a motorway, near town, near a park-not cheap due to this) and did it up to liveable condition. I then bought another with the profits from remortgaging so I had somewhere to live, &rented the first house out.

Thatbliddywoman · 08/02/2022 07:25

I feel the need to add that my parents are extremely well off, but I feel this fact has been thrown at me my whole life and I was determined to not ask them for a penny Grin

GracieLouFreebushh · 08/02/2022 07:28

Nope none done it ourselves

Bouncebacker · 08/02/2022 07:34

Yes, DHs dad doubled our savings for the deposit on our flat. No way we could have afforded to buy without him, and no way in a million years than either of my parents could have either given us cash or a place to live - “marrying well” was literally the only way I could buy - good job I love DH really or it would be a bit dodgy!

CoverYourselfInChocolateGlory · 08/02/2022 07:34

Yes, my parents gave me the generous deposit. It was intended as a loan that I would return when I sold the flat, but over time they decided they didn't want it back. I am very thankful.

gunnersgold · 08/02/2022 07:36

Zero ! We bought our first house for £100 k with a cash back mortgage which we used for the deposit ! Genius loophole not allowed now !

Enzbear · 08/02/2022 07:43

I feel the need to add that my parents are extremely well off

Mine too, mainly from inheritances but didn't pass any on to us kids. We just had lots of encouragement to be ever so independent Smile
This was a long time before bank of mum and dad was a thing but I know my best friend and her siblings got £30k each.
Anyway I obviously took on board the independent stuff as we are now better off than my parents.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 08/02/2022 07:47

JustTryingouthere your grandmother sounds a star.

Namechangedforspooky · 08/02/2022 08:28

How old is Kirsty? Around 50 I think. Pretty disingenuous to say she didn’t need help when in all likelihood she bought her first property in the late 90s, early 00s. I bought in 2001 and my stamp duty and deposit were paid for me but even if they hadn’t been there were 100% mortgages easily available and average prices were still well under £100k. I would really struggle to buy now with a salary that is well above average.
She’s talking nonsense!

Namechangedforspooky · 08/02/2022 08:36

I should clarify paid for me by the builders not my parents

InglouriousBasterd · 08/02/2022 08:41

I rent, but all my friends of the same age (37) who have bought a house had both direct and indirect parental help, or married wealthy men.

Direct via inheritance / large gift of money, indirect via living with parents rent-free whilst they saved.