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AIBU?

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Original poster

Did you have any parental help when buying first house?

499 replies

forceofagreattyphoon · 07/02/2022 14:37

Obviously inspired by all the Kirsty allsopp stuff about buying first houses.

Did you have any help from parents or partners parents in any way?

We didn’t get any ‘direct’ money but were only able to save a deposit by living with my parents for very-low rent for 2 years. So technically they did help a lot financially with the process. A lot of people wouldn’t have this option so I am very fortunate and wouldn’t have been able to do it otherwise.

I’d say about 80% of people I know my age (late 20s-early 30s) have all had some form of parental help when purchasing their first house. Ranging from the whole deposit gifted or help with all the fees.

OP posts:
SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 07/02/2022 17:48

@Sally090807

If a relative gifts you money for a house/deposit and they pass away within 7 years don’t you then have to include this as an asset of the diseased estate and pay inheritance tax on that?
The estate pays the inheritance tax, assuming UK.
GrolliffetheDragon · 07/02/2022 17:48

My parents let us live with them while we saved, but really it was an inheritance that let us buy when we did. Without that it would have taken us another two or three years.

Merryoldgoat · 07/02/2022 17:49

@Sally090807

Yes, that’s correct.

malificent7 · 07/02/2022 17:51

No...and my dad charged me rent when i moved with him as a single mum so i couldn't save I only managed it due to inheritance from my dps side....indirectly i guess.

RussianSpy101 · 07/02/2022 17:53

None. We bought a very cheap house in 2012.

JuergenSchwarzwald · 07/02/2022 17:56

Yes my father helped with the deposit on my first flat. He gave me £4k towards a flat that cost £45K. I was earning £19K a year when I bought it.

DH lost money on his first flat as he bought in the early 90s and sold it for less than he had paid for it in the late 90s :( He did save his deposit by living with parents and scrimping.

Teddansononmyown · 07/02/2022 17:57

Nah, not a sausage. They don't have the means and I couldn't have lived with them due to the commute.

Many house shares alongside rabid saving meant I could buy a 2 bed flat in 2012. No way could I afford the same flat now. Wish I hadn't had to sell it!

SC215 · 07/02/2022 17:58

Nope, but my brother got 50k. Not bitter about it at all...

Hesma · 07/02/2022 18:14

Nope! Just a job with good commission that I was one of the top billers in

mizzo · 07/02/2022 18:14

No, but it was the late nineties and our house cost £18k. They bought us kitchen utensils which cost £50 which I thought was extortionate but I still use them over twenty years on.

We're in the very fortunate position to be able to help our DC when they need it.

2bunny · 07/02/2022 18:27

Got prayers not sure if that counts

Roselilly36 · 07/02/2022 18:40

We had a small amount from DH parents to help us with deposit, we will help our DS’ when they want to buy their first homes, I don’t think they will be able to buy otherwise.

TattiePants · 07/02/2022 18:51

Yes, parents paid the 10% deposit on my first flat in the late 90's when you could still buy a flat in an up and coming part of South Manchester for £42k. DH's parents did the same for him, similar priced flat on the SE coast. Both flats more than doubled in price in 3 years which allowed us to buy a house in south Manchester.

BillyAndTheSillies · 07/02/2022 18:52

Yes, 7k from my parents. Paid it back 18 months later when earnings changed. They saved the same amount for my brother, but it's crazy to think how much circumstances have changed in a decade.
We bought a small flat in an absolute shit hole part of London with a tiny lease on a 90% mortgage in 2011 and the area absolutely exploded. My brother at nearly 30 is still at home because he's single and his salary won't touch a mortgage in London.

DramaAlpaca · 07/02/2022 18:55

Yes, my parents gave us the deposit for which we were very grateful.

ErinAoife · 07/02/2022 19:04

No did not get any help and when house was being build, we had bought on the other side of the country to be close to the in laws, I found a job soon enough and needed a place to stay as the house wasn't ready for another 2 months, went to live with the in law which charge me a rent, they did not care we had a mortgage, a rent as hubbie was still living in the other side as dis not have a job yet in that part of the country. Only stay 5 night at my in laws place as was going back to the hubbie at weekend and inlaw charged me going rate of rental + money for food despite I did not have my own room, not very helpful at all luckily it was only for 2 months but it was hard money wise for 2 months.

ThinWomansBrain · 07/02/2022 19:05

Not financially at all - my Dad stayed over for a couple of days and did some DIY and work that had been requested as a condiiton of the mortgage.
Quite a lot of friends buying at the same time went into negative equity - I held on to mine and sold it after nine years for exactly the same as I'd paid for it.

Buildingthefuture · 07/02/2022 19:06

No. They didn’t have it to give me. Worked out fine in the end though.

MrsTWH · 07/02/2022 19:06

Yes we had an 8k loan from my FIL towards our first house purchase. We repaid him within a year.

Ten years later we were about to exchange on a new build house and our mortgage got refused as our LTV was too high. My dad loaned us the difference so we didn’t lose the house (30k) so we were lucky he was in a position to do that. But he also charged us a massive rate of interest on it and it took us 5 years to pay it back him!

honeylulu · 07/02/2022 19:13

No not my first property even though I was on a low wage and bought by myself Property was much cheaper then though. Parents did buy me a washing machine though My sister bought her first property a few years later, much better job and buying with her boyfriend, and my parents paid the conveyancing fees. That was a bit annoying.

We moved and again no help. Though during the 14 years we lived there I did inherit some money from my grandparents and husband from his parents which helped pay off the mortgage and save for next property (also mortgage free) so I guess we did get some help later but only because people died sadly.

FloBot7 · 07/02/2022 19:34

I think this discussion would be helped a lot by posters including the year they purchased. These days it's near impossible without some help. I know I couldn't save for a deposit while paying local rental prices on a 1 bed flat right now. My DH only afforded his flat because he had an inheritance 10 years ago.

ComtesseDeSpair · 07/02/2022 19:39

@FloBot7

I think this discussion would be helped a lot by posters including the year they purchased. These days it's near impossible without some help. I know I couldn't save for a deposit while paying local rental prices on a 1 bed flat right now. My DH only afforded his flat because he had an inheritance 10 years ago.
The year of purchase, and also where in the U.K. they purchased and whether they had a partner.

A couple who saved £11,000 in the early 2000s to buy a house in the NE - good on them, but not exactly a very difficult amount to save for two earning people buying in an affordable area and applying for a mortgage based on two incomes.

A single person needing to save £60,000 to buy in London in the past decade and qualify for a mortgage on one salary. Really difficult.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 07/02/2022 19:43

It’s single people I feel even more sorry for, it’s so hard for them to buy on their own. That’s why I helped my DC.

MyGlassKeepsLeaking · 07/02/2022 19:43

No. Our 1st house was a council one, and we'd been tenants for about 5 years, so got a discount and 100% mortgage. That was great to start us off, then we sold up after 6 years, got this house when the interest rate was 12.5% which was a real struggle. Now, we've been here 31 years. The mortgage was paid off 6 years ago.

Cherrybomb197 · 07/02/2022 19:48

Yes. DH parents gave us a lump sum. We also lived with them for 6 months while we saved. My mum has given large gifts to us over the years.

We also bought when homes were cheaper. We bought our current house for £225k five years ago: it’s now valued at £325k. An increase of 44%. Our salaries have certainly not increased by that amount over the last 5 years