very embarrassing question...

[TheGreatBobinsky]

I'm not sure if I should be worried about something that happened when I gave birth. My child is now 6 so definitely not a recent event but it still plays on my mind and has made me very insecure about my body. It is extremely embarrassing and I have name changed because I don't want anyone knowing about it.

So when I had my child I was induced, it was a very quick labour for a first baby, I was alone (they had sent my partner home and didn't believe me telling them I was in labour until it was too late) and I needed an episiotomy and forceps without pain relief so it was fairly traumatic (I know others have been through worse). When it was over the person stitching me up suddenly stood up and left the room exclaiming 'I'm going to be sick'. She seemed utterly disgusted and I feel like my genitals must be a complete mess because she must have stitched up plenty of women before that. Nobody commented at all, the room was full of so many people and I felt so ashamed.

Admittedly my partner has never commented or complained and I try not to think about it and just push all thoughts of it out of my mind but I just don't feel normal. It still plays on my mind now and I put off going to check ups like cervical smear tests and it's the reason I won't have a coil because I feel like I'm so disgusting that I make medical professionals feel sick.

AIBU to think that there was something wrong with happened even if I can't do anything about it now?

[SammyScrounge]

When my mother was in hospital after she had me, the doctor came to check her over.'That's an ugly mess down there,' he said.
Poor Mum was devastated. Like the OP, she thought there was something wrong with her. She cried all day, convinced she was deformed or something. The ward sister got it out of her at last and told her the mess was made by the young doctor who had stitched her up very clumsily. She wasn''t to worry because she was to be unstitched and redone by the consultant.
It won't have been you ,OP, who made someone sick. The nurse was coming down with something or she was hungover or something like that.

[Tubs11]

Another one here who things she was:
A) pregnant
B) hungover
C) sick

Please please please don't miss cervical smears

[MimiDaisy11]

I’d say the fact no one reacted was because it wasn’t surprising to them that she was feeling sick. Likely to do with a medical condition of hers. If they’d thought it was about you surely they would have reacted as it’d be so unprofessional to speak like that. It really wasn’t about you at all. It’s sad that it’s had this effect. Please don’t put off smear tests etc. There’s really nothing disgusting about a human body (unless you don’t shower 😂).

[UnitedRoad]

I think she might have been pregnant or hungover.

My mum and husband were both present at my oldest daughters birth and, like you, I had stitches. My husbands never said anything but my mum told me I looked like a butchers table down there. Charming!

Honestly these people have seen everything. I think pooing in childbirth is common, not saying you did, but they really have seen it all. Please don’t think about this anymore - it’s hard I know. I’m still trying to put the butchers table to the back of my mind and my daughters 23.

[massiveblob]

I don't think it's anything to do with you: your body. I think she genuinely felt sick

[Jenasaurus]

like others have said, I expect she was unwell or pregnant. I am sure there is nothing wrong with you. I had forceps and an episotomy and can remember being stiched up myself, the person doing it was being trained and the doctor asked permision for them to carry out the procedure while being watched. I remember the doctor saying to him, One there and then pointing and saying and one there. I was a bit anxious about it but he seems to have done a good job.

The worst bit was when they stuck a tampon inside me to absorb the blood without telling me. That did hurt and I felt violated at the time, ridiculous as they were just doing their job.

I remember being upset with a midwife when she commented that most of my belly wasnt baby as she remembered me from ante natal classes! It can be a traumatic experience but I am sure your vagina is completely normal

[Mamanyt]

You are, and have been, assuming that her comment related to you. I assure you, it almost certainly did not. She may have been pregnant, she may have eaten something that didn't agree with her, she may have picked up a bug that she wasn't aware of until she became nauseous. Or any one of several other things that have nothing to do with you. I am reasonably certain that, were anything truly amiss "down there," your physician would have discussed it with you.

[Pennythoughts28]

Awk hunny firstly feel like giving you a big hug as I went through almost the same thing 6 years ago too, I find that quote unprofessional tbh and it could have just been the blood , do you even know if she was saying it because she just felt sick did it even have anything to do with you , she sees vaginas everyday all day , and what you went through I'm sure she's seen it all before so to say she feels sick sounds like she just felt sick and not because of what she was looking at at all ! I think your beating yourself up and if you were to ever ask her she would prabli say o I had food posioning or something ! Even if someones vagina did make her feel sick which is extremely doubtful she's a professional and I doubt she would openly even say that , aw I think your beating yourself up over something so innocent altho I don't think she should have said that full stop and should have known better tbh a simple excuse me I have to go would have done , when I was gitting stiched up he said it probably won't ever look the same because of the stiches but they are inside so do you care I was like ... Am yeah 🤣 laugh about the time you thought the doctor was talking about your bits after having a baby when they clearly were not and stop being so hard on yourself ❤️

[littleburn]

YABU! She's a medical professional and will have seen it all - she wasn't some random person they've pulled in off the street who would have their stomach turned by giving stitches. Most probably she was poorly. I've foolishly dragged myself to work before when I've not been 100% and had to dash to the loos to be sick.

To still be dwelling on it after all this time isn't normal. Do you think you could be suffering from birth-related trauma that's manifesting as a fixation on this incident? If so, counselling could be very helpful for you.

[Italiangreyhound]

I am very sure a medical professional would not feel sick at the sight of someone's body at all. They may have felt sick because they were coming down with something or the room was hot or many other reasons. It would not be about you.

XX Relax, you are fine. You can ask for your birth notes and may be able to meet with a medical professional. I had a quite difficult time and my local hospital offered this service of looking through the notes.

[oakleaffy]

@TheGreatBobinsky
Oh bless you!
I guarantee that the person stitching you up absolutely was not 'made sick' by your torn skin.
My husband was a music teacher, and all of a sudden bolted from the teaching room to the bathroom and let fly with a torrent of chunder.

The poor student in the teaching room looked worried.
It was just 'Norovirus' that comes on fast and hard.

Husband had eaten only an hour before, and felt fine.
I bet the person was suffering from Norovirus or similar gastric upset.

HCP 's stitch up a gazillion torn perineums, and would think no more of it than brushing their teeth.

[betwixtlives]

@j712adrian

Oh, one of my ex GFs had had a daft amount of stitches. Used to like going down on her and I had no idea, she told me about the stitches.

What the fuck? No one asked if you enjoyed going down on your ex?!

[betwixtlives]

@CoronaKidd

Even if she was pregnant, which she probably was, she should have had the courtesy to come back and explain, she didn’t have to say she was pregnant, just have said she was feeling unwell. Pregnancy is not an excuse for being rude.

Wise up 🙄. It’s not all about you

[betwixtlives]

I’m a theatre nurse and once had a student midwife say the same before fainting halfway out the door. Turned out she hadn’t eaten since the night before 🤷🏾‍♀️

[Siepie]

I agree with others that she was probably pregnant or unwell (or hungover). It can't have been comforting to have someone say "I'm going to be sick" while looking at your genitals, but I'm sure it had nothing to do with what you look like. She probably felt she needed to let you and/or the other staff know why she was running out of the room mid-procedure.

[WiddlinDiddlin]

I know maaaaany many medics of all kinds, brain surgeons, trauma surgeons, gp's... lots of my friends went on to do that sort of thing so I was around as they went through all their training and early careers..

I can ABSOLUTELY assure you... there are a billion trillion things more likely than the sight of your genitalia being so horrific it caused them to throw up.

Top of the list:

Hungover
Already feeling ill but had to come into work
Suffering sleep deprivation
Pregnant

These are all SO much more likely than anything you've imagined!

[BootySOS]

She must have had a bug.
I've suddenly come over sick at work before and had to run out the room.

But why not go to the Dr anyway and ask them to check you out + smear. As you have been so anxious about this.

[Monty27]

Oh OP absolutely no way is it you. Talk to a professional. You're probably as beautiful as the next person and just as you always were.
🌹🌹❤️

[LadyPropane]

Doctors do not get squeamish when stitching someone post birth. They really, really don't. Even if it was "a mess down there" (which I'm sure it wasn't) they still wouldn't be the slightest bit squeamish about it. There are very few medical procedures that would make a doctor feel squeamish.

However they do tend to go to work when they should be in bed resting. They usually have to be hospitalized themselves before they will take a sick day.

The doctor was probably ill and made the call to work anyway thinking they could power through, but then bending and tensing to do the stitches probably pushed them over the edge and made them puke. They would have announced it so bluntly because the other doctors and nurses would need to know why they were suddenly disappearing in the middle of the procedure.

[GingerScallop]

@HollowTalk

Might she have been pregnant and unable to control her morning sickness? I really very much doubt that she was disgusted by you. Were you on gas and air? That can make you remember wrongly.

I wondered the same. if she was pregnant. But this should have been addressed with the team then so it would have left you no doubt.

Am so sorry this happened to you

[RantyAunty]

It truly had nothing to do with you. I promise.

In nursing school every time the childbirth video was played in class, there was alway 1 person who fainted.

During a minor procedure on a patient, suddenly I felt unwell and had to leave before I vomited or fainted. I had been recovering from a rather long chest infection and was still weak.

At the vet, our cat was having a minor procedure on an infected bite and I started to feel unwell and had to walk out for fresh air. I had just eaten a large plate of alfredo and worked a long day.

So it truly isn't you at all. It just happens sometimes to people due to pregnancy, sight of blood, overtired, etc.

[teezletangler]

I'm a midwife and the only time this has happened to me was when I was 36 weeks pregnant, in a hot theatre, with a woman about to undergo a caesarean. Suddenly I took a turn and announced that I was going to be sick, so a colleague grabbed me and heaved me out of theatre and into a chair in recovery! I can see that the timing of your comment was very unfortunate, but I'm sure it wasn't related. I don't think I know a single midwife or doctor whose stomach is turned by stitching up a vagina- we tend to find it really fascinating!

[ThePrionOne]

@justasking111

The smell of blood set me off when pregnant I expect it was that

I’m with justasking. I was similarly afflicted! There were parts of my job I couldn’t do because of it.

You’ve definitely misconstrued the situation. Medical students might faint, but anyone experienced would never have that reaction to a vaginal tear. They see much worse things, which I won’t go into, but however badly torn you were, it wouldn’t have been that.

[Darkrainbow]

Op, I'm sure its not you. I had horrendous morning sickness and quite often had to walk out on patients to be sick. At the time I thought I was being subtle and they didn't know (very difficult pregnancy, didn't want to have to disclose to every patient I met). Now I wonder if I've upset anyone and they thought it was them causing it. Absolutely not the case.
I've also fainted several times on patients, again nothing to do with them. And also suddenly got hit by the norovirus that had taken down half my ward whilst in emergency theatre.
The fact no other staff said anything makes me think there was a pre existing reason for her to be sick that they were all aware of, otherwise it would of been a surprise to them and a fuss made of their unwell colleague. Whereas it likely was 'oh Jane's sick AGAIN, I best finish this off then deal with Mrs X & Y for her'

[shouldistop]

Just adding another 'it definitely wasn't your fanny making her sick'!
Have you had a look at it with a hand held mirror to reassure yourself?