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to want to kill (or maybe just send back) my MIL?

43 replies

canella · 24/12/2007 12:30

they've come over last wednesday and she has spent the whole time forcing her christmas traditions on us!! they're german and i quite understand that they do some things differently - dh and I have compromised for years about when to give the kids they're presents - they get german relation presents on xmas eve and british ones on xmas morning (even thought it spoils the whole santa coming in the night story!!)
but this year is the first time they have come here for christmas - they're not happy the kids are watching tv - they think we should be listening to christmas carols all day!!!! the kids are 6, 3 and 1 FFS!!!! they're not happy that friends have bought the kids presents - they think our children are spoiled!! they're really not - the friends who bought the presents are the ones we see all the time and since we've no family near us they're like our family!!
but now she's nearly physically pushed me out the kitchen so she can sort xmas dinner!! part of me thinks go on bust a gut but the other part is pissed off that i will cause a fight if i try to make the food that we would normally eat! xmas is not xmas without roast potatoes!!! she's already told dh that she wouldnt dream of serving them on the same plate as her precious goose!!

sorry for the big rant - dh at work and no use for ranting to anyway! he's stuck between the 2 of us!!

wonder how early i can start drinking!!

OP posts:
Desiderata · 24/12/2007 18:26

You don't do Christmas, beeper

Now, you do surprise me

NowTheHollyBearsABero · 24/12/2007 22:36

My (German) ILs turned down our invitation for Christmas Day this year, no reason given but Ib suspect a large part of it is not wanting to celebrate the English way.

Desi - you'll laugh - the Germans think British cuisine is the worst in the world...

ivykaty44 · 24/12/2007 22:51

The christmas tree story starts in Riga, Latvia not Germany

Nightynight · 24/12/2007 23:19

no, christmas trees originated in alsace surely!

HoHoHotcrossbunny · 24/12/2007 23:30

Canella - she sounds very like my MIL.I am close to murder too. Have spent a lot of the day in tears and hate myself for letting her get to me like this.

I know she hates me and thinks I'm a useless waste of space, but it is Christmas and I want it to be special for dd. She has some personal problems (an affair with a married man on the skids) so she is hugely depressed and its affecting all of us. Dh and I have argued today, and we rarely argue... I am getting over a bug, and she s never ill so I'm getting lots of caustic comments about that. I am dreading more of the smae and we don't know when she is going home

So I am sending HUGE hugs to all with nightmare MILs. Hope we cope and do not end up causing big family rifts. i love my dh so much but I really wish he'd stand up to her sometiomes.

whispywhisp · 24/12/2007 23:37

Reading all's no wonder I call DH's parents the 'out-laws'....

onebatmotherofgoditschilly · 24/12/2007 23:40

canella, do hope you're snoring gently in front of blankety blank while mil furiously bastes her goose.

whispywhisp · 24/12/2007 23:46

The umbilical cord between dh and his Mother was never cut at birth, I'm certain of it.

canella · 25/12/2007 19:59

survived another day! champagne seemed to ease the pain!! xmas dinner was a nightmare - the kids wouldn't eat the goose and she only served red cabbage and these german dumplings! no way my kids were eating red cabbage & i'm sure she knew that!
they stormed off in a huff later cause dd (6) was playing with her toys too much and not speaking to them! FFs and FFS again! sh'es 6! they've been here for 6 days already and are here for another 2!!! god bless mumsnet! your replies have warmed the cockles of my misereable christmas heart!!

OP posts:
justaboutfullofXmaspudding · 26/12/2007 12:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsSchadenfreude · 26/12/2007 13:09

Oh God, I force my German family traditions on everyone and make them eat red cabbage too.

onepieceoflollipop · 26/12/2007 13:20

Canella you sound lovely. My top tip to you is when the champagne is gone start on the Baileys.

I nearly offered my mil on freecycle this morning. Long story but it is her birthday today and she has fallen out with dh because dd1 is too ill (flu) to go to her b'day tea. She slammed the phone down and said she "wasn't taking any more of this"

Incidentally dh has just popped round there with a present - I urged him not to enter any discussions with such unreasonable people.

Yesterday she said that my dd2 looked like Hannibal Lechter with a dummy in her mouth - she wasn't joking. She made a lot of other complaints as well but I won't go into it all now.

I am and re my mil and wish you lots of luck and strength and patience. There are lots of us who know what you are going through. Your experiences (and those of others that have posted) help me immensely and I am sure we help each other so let's keep posting.

Happy Boxing Day, maybe (almost definitely) this thread will still be going strong later so will join you again then.

Nightynight · 26/12/2007 13:47

but MrsS, you are the DIL presumably! In matters of family traditions youth definitely takes precedent over age (I hope I will still have this opinion when Im the MIL, lol)

I tried making red cabbage but it was horrid and the children wouldnt eat it. I am going to buy some frozen ready prepared one at the supermarket, to find out what it ought to taste like.

Gangle · 26/12/2007 13:58

I am about to kill my Tunisian MIL. Sick to death of her snide comments, her hogging the TV and doing nothing around the house. I can't even drink my way through it as I'm 6 months pregnant! Her best comment so far has been asking me if I take large in tights (I am a size 10, 6 months pregnant and weigh 63 kilos and have never been a large anything). Is it rude to suggest she leaves a day early? I just can't last until Saturday, despite being at work all day tomorrow and Friday. She's completely rude and coarse and now I'm terrified that my son has 25% her genes.

canella · 26/12/2007 19:24

thank you so so much for all your posts! i was beginning to think i was going mad till i read them - we cant all be mad! (well maybe a little bit mad!!)
was dreading today - dh is on call so left at 8am and wont be back till 11pm (the joys of the NHS!) it was all i could think about when i was up in the night with the baby - if i wanted to kill them when he was there yesterday for supposed moral support then what would i do today!!

but its been fine - mostly cause i've not seen them!! they took my car and went to the sales all morning then came back and told me they would look after the kids while i went shopping! so i took her at her word and was out for 3 1/2 hours!! it was great!

but she still cooked food the kids didnt like for dinner! THEY DONT LIKE RED CABBAGE!!!!!!!!!!! and dd didnt eat the goose so she cooked duck today - didnt go down too well either! (i'm sure sh'ell be vegetarian when she's older!)

so i'm now hiding upstairs pretending to put the baby to bed (it only takes 5 mins but she'll never know!) and ranting again on MN!
thank you again all of you who listen to my moans! only 1 more whole day to go! then i will happily take them to the airport and send them back!! cant bloody wait!!

OP posts:
whispywhisp · 26/12/2007 20:40

canella....24hrs and counting down......?!

HoHoHotcrossbunny · 26/12/2007 23:20

I am you only have one day to go.

My MIL is staying til Sunday I will kill her. She is the most self-centred, miserable, boring, critical, completely lacking in humoured cow and she is in my house Why my dh can't see how she undermines me I will not know, but she constantly ignores my instructions and does her own sweet thing, is constantly saying 'I told you so', and criticises everything. I wish I had bags of confidence but she makes me feel like a child who knows nothing This Christmas has been the worst ever, and now we wont even get time alone as a family before dh starts work

Sorry, I've monopolised the thread but I needed to splurge that, cos I can't talk to dh about it. He feels completely trapped in the middle and we are arguing, which is something we rarely do.

Canella, the food thing is really irritating. But at least your dcs are sort of on your side by not eating it! Try to keep going. Love the sound of the shopping! Did you buy anything nice?

canella · 27/12/2007 18:28

hotcrossbunny - you rant as much as you want! i felt much better for it! you kind of summed up how i feel! i went to bed crying on xmas eve cause i was annoyed with myself for not standing up to her! xmas day was the only day we had off together and she ruined it!but she'll be gone soon! and never again!

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