to be annoyed with parents & inlaws

[LittleGoldfish]

My parents & inlaws are retired. I would like them to offer to have DCs at least for one hour a week so I can have a spare hour to myself.

My parents will visit once a week, leave their jackets on, stay for half hour then leave. Somtimes, they offer to take DS age 2 to the park but not very often. My inlaws live down the road literally a 2 min walk away and NEVER offer to take DS out for one hour a week. They do however have SIL's DS at the drop of a hat when SIL lies to them about working a Fri or Sat night shift (shes a nurse) when DH's mates have seen her and her DH down town getting rat arsed.

Same goes for my sister, she works 9-5 & my parents have her DD all day every day.

Granted, I am a SAHM but does this mean I am not entitled to hour measly hour a week to myself.

Rant over.

[claricebeansmumhasnomincepies]

Perhaps you need to explain and ask? Perhaps they think you are managing without their help and they don't want to intrude..

[Haylstones]

Agree, think you need to ask them outright. How is the relationship generally? iF this is the only issue it sound slike it's a misunderstanding somewhere

[SelfishMrsClaus]

Maybe if they have other kids all the time they feel they are too tired to look after yours?

Also if the other parents go out to work they maybe feel they need the babysitting?

[BeeWiseMen]

I'd just ask them. Perhaps they think you're like me and bristle at offers of help? Do you want my MIL? I've spent the 6 months since DD was born beating her off with a stick
. See- bristling?

I know it's irritating when siblings and their children get different levels of support from parents but I think a lot of it is how you're perceived in the family. If you are the hopeless and incompetent daughter your parents rush to offer help at every turn. If you're the capable together one, your parents assume you don't need them at all.

I bet both sets of grandparents are dying to see more of your dcs really.

[LowFat]

We only have my IL's now and although they live over an hour away from us and are only round the corner from BIL, I also feel that we are just left to get on with things.

But I also think it's because of the demonstration of independance that we have given them, and that we have never asked for help. Then again I have heard my SIL complaining about them and sometimes feel I am all the more luckier for not having them close at hand

Perhaps as already suggested you should explain to both sides that although you are a SAHM, you would love it if they would take the DC's out a bit more, to enrich thier relationship with them and give you 5 minutes peace to do the jobs that cannot be done with children running round your ankles.

I'm sure once they know how much you need them they will oblige.

[LittleGoldfish]

Thanks for replies. It looks like I am going to have to tell them how I feel & how bloody frazzled I am at the moment.

Even SAHM's need a break sometimes because believe me, it is far easier to go to work, at least you get a break.

It irritates me that my SIL lies about her shift pattern & her DH's, they always seem to be working nights on a Friday or Saturday when DH's mates have seen them down town getting drunk .

Maybe my inlaws & parents don't think SAHM's need a break sometimes .