to cringe everytime my sil mentions smacking her little dd?

[bubblepop]

she's so small..and really quite well behaved compared to some tots..yet my sil is convinced shes a little "bitch". we've talked about it many times, she does all the normal toddler things..throwing her dinner on the floor,not wanting to get in her pram/car seat etc etc. i just can't stand it when my sil talks about "slapping her legs" or "smacking her on the hands". im trying not to interfere with her parenting (she would hate for me to advise her anyway;her being very confident in her parenting) but omg i can't stand it much longer..should i remain quiet?

i thought smacking was really frowned upon now - is it actually illegal?

she sounds awful - id def try the coldtits comment but if it continued i think id call childline to be honest

How old is her DD?

Newgirl - no its not illegal in UK. There is a defence to Common Assault (the lowest form of assault) of lawful chastisement by a parent/guardian. However it is illegal to leave injuries on a child higher than a Common Assault would warrant.
So, if you were to smack them and cause injuries then you may be prosecuted.

dear all. thankyou for all your comments,been off line for a couple of days and just thought id check in again.
ive decided im going to speak with her soon and try to get to the bottom of it all, without interfereing (how on earth will i do it!)
i think the problem is definately a lack of bonding between the two, rather than a temper problem on behalf of my sil. i do not think my neice is in any danger, but maybe my sil needs to learn other ways of dealing with things. wish me luck. x

It's the 'bitch' comment that makes me rather than the smacking.

What a horrendous way to describe your child

she is in danger if that is sil's idea of appropriate parenting. the behaviour you describe could amount to emotional abuse imo.

I agree with coby - if nothing else, be in thie child's life as much as you can, she's going to need you. Having an aunt who loves her unconditionally and doesn't treat her that way may be a lifeline for her as she's growing up. Listen to her, cuddle her, love her, and be a secret good parent to her. As and when she's interacting with you rather than your sis, take her seriously and treat her like a reasonable human being, give her a view of herself that's different to her mother's, maybe even set a subtly better exsmple to your sis.