Near drowning

[aibuprofile]

My daughter was taking part in a swim lesson with school last week. During this lesson she panicked in 2m deep water and the swim teacher tried to throw life saving aids to her but she was going under and could not grab them. The lifeguard sounded the alarm and dived in and pulled her out. She was ok.
But... I was not told about this until the end of the school day. When I was told it was in a very casual way and a brief version of events given. This version does NOT match those of several other children there or indeed my own daughters (who is very sensible and not dramatic).

I am angry that I was not at least called. I'm angry that when I phoned the school to discuss (took a few moments for it to sink in when I was told in person, by which time the teacher had walked off) I was fobbed off and told she did not nearly drown and that her head only went under water for a brief moment.

AIBU to be angry with the school for the lack of communication and would I be unreasonable to go over to the swimming pool and ask for their version of events?

[Brollywasntneededafterall]

Don't underestimate your dd's experience. At 32 my dd still remembers being fished out also. She only learned to swim 2 years ago. So put off by the incident - really affected her. School never told me either.
Until the end of day also.

[SaltySeaAir]

I would want it followed up on. She should not have been in the deep water in the first place if she can't swim. There is a possibility these are the first swimming lessons the school has done since covid, and maybe they need to re-check the procedures they have in place to ensure children are in the correct group.

I hope she is ok and this does not effect her confidence in the water.

[discombobulatedonion]

@discombobulatedonion

To continue from this, I did a 3 week programme called NCS when I was 16. For one activity on the first week, we were required to do some water sport type thing then at the end, we were required to run and jump into this massive, deep lake. Now I can’t swim very well, so I refused - but yet the team leaders of that particular activity literally threw me into the water. Despite having a life jacket on, I went underwater and someone had to jump in to save me because I couldn’t, and still can’t, swim very well.

But according to the “officials”, it wasn’t that bad because I didn’t actually drown.

[PlantyPotts]

"I can understand you being upset but to be fair I'd trust the official version of events over those of other children. "

For Christ sake will we learn nothing from the past about heinous lies told by adults and children not been listened to until the truth finally comes out years later.

Yes children can over dramatise but you look at the whole picture not ignore them.

OP even if not a near drowning you should have been told. Our school has to phone the parents for any head bump at all. You'd think a water incident would have to be reported too.

[FlibbertyGibbitt]

If this was last week why didn’t you call the school the next day ?

[Sightlinesandsolutions]

Something very similar happened to us. It is horrific, and in our case it was also treated very dismissively. I'm so sorry that this has happened to you too, but I'm glad your daughter is ok. If it's any consolation at all, my child has gone on to become a very confident swimmer and absolutely loves the water.

As for next steps, I would contact both the school and the pool and formally complain and request that they review the incident. They should have a health and safety policy in place for reporting and reviewing never events like this. There should be CCTV footage too, which you can ask to view. I would also ask what steps they took to assess her medically, as with incidents like this, there is always a risk of secondary drowning.

Good luck, I hope you get the answers you're looking for.

[viques]

@aibuprofile

Yes I am of course very grateful that the lifeguard did his job.

What I'm not happy about is her being in water that is 2m deep when she can't swim, that there was no swim teacher actually in the pool and that schools version of events literally makes no sense at all and the school did not phone me straight away.

Swimming teachers don’t get in the pool. They coach /teach from the side.

I am glad your daughter is OK.

I think the issue to focus on is why non swimmers were in water out of their depth.

[HunkyPunk]

@FlibbertyGibbitt

If this was last week why didn’t you call the school the next day ?

The op stated that she did phone the school, and was fobbed off. If people in authority keep telling you ‘nothing to see here’ it can take a while for you to gather your thoughts and decide to act on your gut instinct that there is more to an incident than is being revealed.

[thelastgoldeneagle]

@HarrietsChariot - I can understand you being upset but to be fair I'd trust the official version of events over those of other children.

Really? Like teachers and people in positions of authority never lie to get themselves out of trouble??

I'd trust your dd.

It doesn't sound like too big of a deal, she got into trouble and the lifeguards got her out of it. Assuming she didn't need mouth-to-mouth or anything, it sounds like the system worked?

Really?? A lifeguard had to dive in to save a child during a supervised school swimmng lesson, and that's 'the system working'? I hope you're not in charge of anything risky like swimming or mountain climbing...

A non-swimming child was in 2m deep water??

FFS, the school are lucky nothing worse happened. Absolutely bonkers. I'd contact them in writing, ask for their risk assessment, asky why your dd was out of her depth.
Then I'd contact the leisure centre and ask to see the lifeguard's report. Then I'd think hard about whteher I wanted dd to swim with school again.

[Doveyouknow]

What would you have done differently if they had rung you during the school day? I am not sure the issue is when they told you. The issue is surely that your daughter cannot swim but was in a pool out of her depth. That shouldn't have happened and that is what I would raise with the teacher.

[soapboxqueen]

Tbh I'd contact the pool and ask them what happened. You don't have to be drowning for the lifeguard to jump in but it would at least give another perspective of what happened.

I wouldn't expect a call immediately from the school in such circumstances as they were at the pool unless an ambulance was called. However, since swimming was in the morning, they had plenty of time to call if deemed necessary.

The biggest question is 'why was she in such deep water if she can't swim?' a question for the swimming instructors at the pool.

Also Why did the school not make the decision to call you? Did they believe she was fine so no need? Did the pool staff not communicate correctly what had happened so school staff were working on false info?

[probsouting]

@Saladovercrispsanyday

You absolutely should have been told

Risk of delayed drowning death

Exactly this. Secondary drowning (possibly an old term from when I studied it) is scary, luckily it's not common, but definitely needs to be known about.

[Saladovercrispsanyday]

@Doveyouknow

What would you have done differently if they had rung you during the school day? I am not sure the issue is when they told you. The issue is surely that your daughter cannot swim but was in a pool out of her depth. That shouldn't have happened and that is what I would raise with the teacher.

Me?

I would have ensured they were aware of risk of secondary drowning

And given her age. I probably would have said I’ll come and collect her

[Lorw]

I don’t understand why schools do swimming lessons tbh, literally one teacher to a whole class of students at all mixed abilities is a recipe for disaster, especially since it doesn’t seem many children actually learn how to swim at school 🤷🏻‍♀️

Should just phone and ask why a non swimmer was allowed in a deep pool, that is the main issue here and hopefully some safeguards can be put in place.

[GoodbyePorpoiseSpit]

I think secondary drowning is a risk only if you have breathed in water ie asphyxiated rather than swallowed water.
It seems as though you feel they have downplayed it but the bottom line is you don’t trust them. If you don’t trust what they have told you and don’t like when they told you then that leads to loss of trust. Tell them that then take your kid out of swimming if you’re not satisfied. Doesn’t sound like they took it seriously but perhaps they did and it’s a communication issues. I would say that an incident that required the intervention of a life guard would be treated as a BIG DEAL at my kids school. In fact I saw a similar incident play out at a swimming lesson and the kid was shaken up but totally fine. His mum was there to witness it though - the lifeguards did everything right, it was just one of those things as the kid got cramp. No rush if secondary drowning. Just scary.

[GoodbyePorpoiseSpit]

No RISK OF secondary drowning sorry!

[Saladovercrispsanyday]

@GoodbyePorpoiseSpit

I think secondary drowning is a risk only if you have breathed in water ie asphyxiated rather than swallowed water.
It seems as though you feel they have downplayed it but the bottom line is you don’t trust them. If you don’t trust what they have told you and don’t like when they told you then that leads to loss of trust. Tell them that then take your kid out of swimming if you’re not satisfied. Doesn’t sound like they took it seriously but perhaps they did and it’s a communication issues. I would say that an incident that required the intervention of a life guard would be treated as a BIG DEAL at my kids school. In fact I saw a similar incident play out at a swimming lesson and the kid was shaken up but totally fine. His mum was there to witness it though - the lifeguards did everything right, it was just one of those things as the kid got cramp. No rush if secondary drowning. Just scary.

But how you one be sure she didn’t breathe In water?

[PlonkyWillyWonky]

You should have been told straight away, your poor child, never underestimate a child's distress, it's very real to them
I'd like to see how the school recorded it and how the pool did
I hope this doesn't put her off

[CounsellorTroi]

@aibuprofile

Yes I am of course very grateful that the lifeguard did his job.

What I'm not happy about is her being in water that is 2m deep when she can't swim, that there was no swim teacher actually in the pool and that schools version of events literally makes no sense at all and the school did not phone me straight away.

She absolutely should not have been out of her depth when she couldn’t swim. I don’t think you are being unreasonable.

[Cissyandflora]

@Macncheeseballs

I'd be thankful she'd been saved

Do you think op is not thankful? Does being thankful mean being obsequious and compliant?

I’d most certainly be going to the pool for an incident report and having a meeting at the school about the incident too.

[SD1978]

I'm sorry- taking the word of excitable 8 year olds and one scared 8 year old (your daughter) over the school and lifeguards, I probably wouldn't. She was supervised and fine all day at school. She has been fine since. If there was a need for medical intervention at the time, there would have been some offered. I understand it's scary, but she was helped and is safe.

[MrsScrubbithatescleaning]

OP Definitely request a formal investigation. I'm appalled that the teacher thought it ok to have unconfident swimmers in the deeper water without an adult in there with them! What were they thinking??

@viques

Here in Ireland the swim teachers DO go into the water with the children.

My DS started swimming lessons in England and the teacher stayed poolside which I thought was ridiculous. I wasn't impressed by the style of teaching and general quality of the lessons at all and these were supposedly professional swimming instructors.

When we moved here, I enrolled him in lessons at the local pool and the contrast couldn't have been greater. All the teachers are in the water with the kids and for the last ten minutes of each session, they have 'play time' where they get the pool toys out and have a splash play together.

DS went from hating swimming to loving it.

[idontlikealdi]

Why on earth was she is 2m deep water if she can't swim? Most pools in the uk don't even have 2m deep water unless it's a diving pool, when it would be even deeper.

If she was the pool / teacher is seriously at fault.

If she swallowed a lot of water secondary drowning would b a risk and she should have had medical follow up.

My issue wouldn't be with the school.

[sparepantsandtoothbrush]

Posters talking about secondary drowning, you do realise lifeguards are first aid trained and would know all there was to know about that right? If they were in any way concerned about the water she may have swallowed or inhaled then they would have done something about it (ie called an ambulance or given the parent medical advice themselves rather than expecting school to do it as they'd need to cover their asses)

By all means OP I would definitely ask the swim teachers/lifeguards for their version of events. I would be very pissed off with school if they were lying and would escalate it once I'd got the actual facts

[thelastgoldeneagle]

Posters talking about secondary drowning, you do realise lifeguards are first aid trained and would know all there was to know about that right?

In England, lifeguards have three days' training. To cover everything they will need to know - first aid, how to save peple, what to do if someone is in distress. A lot are sixth formers (here anyway). I wouldn't bank on them knowing 'all there is to know'.