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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel angry when judged purely on my accent?

114 replies

manchita · 29/11/2007 20:51

I just find it really depressing the way a lot of people make a habit of judging others on accent/class/appearance/children's names but what gets to me the most is the assumption you are thick and unworthy if you have any kind of regional accent

OP posts:
mybabysinthegarden · 29/11/2007 23:57

Luckyunderpants I don't understand 'calm down, calm down.' Do you talk like Michael Winner in those car insurance ads?

On the posh front, my (pretty mid-Atlantic) accent was pegged as posh by a hitchhiker dh and I picked up a few weeks ago. I was made up, so I was.

SueBaroo · 30/11/2007 00:00

I can do a very good Penelope Keith on the telephone, actually. Terrifies cold-callers.
And my West Yorkshire isn't bad either, having lived there all through Uni. But catch me on the day-to-day and it's likely to sound quite yim-yam.

Jampot · 30/11/2007 00:23

im a brummie but do hate the accent im afraid. i hate it even more when people wrongly think its the same as black country

Jampot · 30/11/2007 00:24

i dont think Benny from Crossroads did anything for the brummie accent to be fair

ScruffyTeddy · 30/11/2007 00:48

I dont much like the proper brummie accent, im blackcountry and we sound nothing like them..(although im sure many would argue mine's not that great either ). My accent isn't anywhere near as strong as most here but im told it can change depending on who im talking to at the time!

Mrsei25 · 30/11/2007 03:28

hi i agree it is feckin annoyin when someone makes a snap judgement on you for you accent etc but it is a part of life unfortunately!!
lucky i get what you mean about the 'calm down calm down' thing im a scouser born and bred and i hate hearin that!! i love hearin the differnt accents its so diverse and lovely but its so small minded and predjudiced to assume that just because a person speaks a certain way that they will also act a certain way!!
its also a sign of the times that people are tryin to correct this kind of point of view but there are still some pigs out there who dont care who the person is just where they r from! iyswim
i had a friend in school who was bullied really badly by the children and some of the teachers because of her accent. she was seen as 'posh' because she had moved from the south and found it hard to understand the broad scouse accent. it works both ways imo and it shouldnt be seen as any less difficult if you have what alot of people refer to as a 'posh' accent than if you have a regional one!
ah well theres nowt anyone can do but not be predjudiced to others as that is the only way we can make any difference!!
xx ei xx

LuckyUnderpants · 30/11/2007 04:39

mybabiesinthegarden - no, not like Michael Winner, like this, and i do not talk like this, its just a piss take

DarthVader · 30/11/2007 08:28

Manchita, accents are often used as a reason to bully or badly treat others. This is as much a problem for anyone it happens to, including folk with "posh/RP" accents and to say that only those with regional accents deserve any sympathy seems very lacking in humanity to me.

BunnyBaby · 30/11/2007 09:34

I live in London and have a strong Lancastrian accent and have never let people's pre-conceptions get in the way. I always humour them. A very well spoken friend put it very nicely when he said 'As soon as you speak your accent stands out and people listen and take notice - it doesn't fade into the background - make the most'. I have worked for 8 years in investment banking, went to the local comp not a grammer and it has never caused a problem. I am also 5'11" and blonde, and yes, get pre-judged based on that too - but again, rise above it, and have never been held back.

Pollyanna · 30/11/2007 09:41

I was teased at school for being posh.

It wasn't very nice at the time, and I used to deliberately speak with the local accent.

I agree with the OP that those who speak without an accent are viewed as more middle class (dare I say it, there is some/lots of truth in that???) and educated. However, not all posh people are viewed as more intelligent - Tim nice but dim is a recognised stereotype.

I must say that I don't particularly like the estuary accent which seems to cover most of the country now, but this is different to regional accents imo.

OrmIrian · 30/11/2007 09:41

"The trouble with a posh accent is that it's affected"

Depend of what you mean by posh doesn't it? If you don't have the local accent and use a good vocabulary that is often enough to have you labelled as 'posh'. And that's me. Having been in and around south west most of my life I still sound 'posh'. And it isn't put on at all. If I were to start ooh-ahhing and calling people 'my luverrrr' that would be affected

mynameisnic · 30/11/2007 10:09

"I am thinking more of people acting like this in the grown up adult world."

Manchita -i was bullied at school for not having a nottingham accent for being a posh cow/bitch/tosser. In my twenties I worked in a casino in west london where I was regularly called "posh bird" and "lady snooty" by my co-workers - although this wasn't aggressive it was bloody boring and annoying.

I now live in Yorkshire with a husband who is broad Rochdale and son who is broad Leeds. I still get comments from adults about how odd it is that I'm "posh" and my son isn't. If I was more sensitive I'd feel offended but actually I don't care what people think of me based solely on the way I sound.

kittylouise · 30/11/2007 10:15

Have lived in the west country all my life but do not speak with a regional accent. I made a conscious effort when I was a child to try and speak without a Devon accent, as I lived with my gran who had the strongest ooh arr accent you can imagine.

I don't think I sound at all posh, but DP comments that when he first met me he did notice that I was very well-spoken. We went to Lancaster to a party with DP's friends; a lot of them thought I was 'posh', and because of that stuck up and unapproachable. Which I am not.

I love the different regional accents that we have in this country, and think it's pretty poor for people to judge you based on your accent.

Threadworm · 30/11/2007 10:18

My Nana had a lovely West Country dialect.
'Be' and 'baint' for 'is' and 'isn't'.
'Thick' for 'that'
No object was ever 'it'. Always 'he'.

Vulgar · 30/11/2007 10:19

It is difficult NOT to judge someone on their accent.

i like geniune regional accents -I find them quirky as I have a boring southern fairly well spoken sort of voice. But i am not opposed to slipping a bit of estrurine occasionally.

BUT, people who speak like black people who are not black and from the 'burbs really get my goat. Think Ali G stylee.

Yes, I am showing my age now too.

And before you all jump down my throat for being racist, my DP is black and he hates it too!

And I also hate that slow, posh teenager speak. There's one girl on a Dove ad that really makes me cringe!

Regional-great.

Fake - bad.

oilandwater · 30/11/2007 10:22

I'm American and find this whole accent thing interesting - you often find a similar attitude in the states that people who speak with a deep southern accent sound "dumb".

But what I find really bizarre is how certain words are indicative of class loo vs toilet etc and I've often wondered how these distinctions seem to persist even though they seem that they would be outdated by now. But then I saw my 3yo neice correct the cleaning lady at her house who said toilet - she said something to the effect of "no - we're not supposed to say toilet in this house - it's proper to say loo." I was surprised to see that my neice was obviously being given lessons about class and us/them (even if not overtly) at the age of 3!

Vulgar · 30/11/2007 10:25

Yes, all that stuff about proper words is weird.

i can't be bothered with it personally!

kittylouise · 30/11/2007 10:26

Threadworm - my gran was like that, items like cups and books were always 'him' or 'her'!

mynameisnic · 30/11/2007 10:28

Very bizarre oilandwater. I have met people who snort with derision at the word "loo" thinking it very middle class. "Lavatory" is the preferred "upper class" word.

Ridiculous!!!!!

starfish2 · 30/11/2007 10:29

You are clearly all British...
I learned to speak English as a (nearly) grown-up, so I still have a foreign accent.
What gets to me is when everyone I meet, at some stage or another, will ask where I am from and how often I go 'home'. I answer 'oh, I go home every night'. 'No, I mean home home'. 'Every night'...

anniemac · 30/11/2007 10:31

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OrmIrian · 30/11/2007 10:33

That surprises me annie. I had always thought that 'foreigners' escaped the accent police and the snobbery. Being foreign is OK because you are outside the fray and can't possibly be expected to know the rules . Obviously not.

mynameisnic · 30/11/2007 10:37

I can remember in the 1970's my mother experiencing a lot of unpleasantness from people because of her Irish accent. I remember one time, after an IRA terror attack, her coming home crying because she had been insulted in a shop by some ignoramus.

anniemac · 30/11/2007 10:38

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PennyBenjamin · 30/11/2007 11:10

My parents-in-law are so posh that they think that using the word "posh" is terribly common. Apparently the word for what I would say was posh is actually "smart".

If you say "toilet" in their house, it's like being in a film where everybody stops, the music dies, clocks stop ticking, etc. until somebody coughs and changes the subject. It's worse than the c-word, honestly.