To think people on pulic transport should be aware of how inappropriate some conversations are in the presence of children???

[VictorianSqualor]

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I get the bus four times a day, once full of school/college age kids, and never have I had to ask them to think about what they are saying whilst my almost 3 and 7 year olds are on the bus.

Yet today, getting on the bus with two young parents (who I actually smiled at when getting on the bus, it was nice to see the daddy with baby in a sling) I had to ask them to watch what they were saying.

I was sat right in front of them with DS, and their conversation was very graphic about how someone was going to get 'their fucking head smashed in' at first I gnored them but as the convo got more and more in detail I felt I had to say something.

So, nicely, I asked 'Do you mind saving that conversation for when we get off the bus' and was told to 'fuck off', I ended up in an exchange with them that went along the lines of.

'Do you mind saving that conversation for when we get off the bus'
'Fuck off'
'look, I'd prefer my child not to be exposed to that kind of talk, he doesn't hear it elsewhere, it's your choice what you say in front of yours, but please not in front of mine'
'If you've got a fucking problem, then move'
'Well, no, I shan't move, I've paid for my seat, I'm just asking you to refrain from that kind of talk'
'We've paid for our fucking seats so we'll say what we fucking want'
'Yes, you have paid for your seat but you haven't pid for the privilege to fill my childs head with the disgusting and quite frankly disturbing conversation you are having in his presence'
'I shouldkick your fucking head in you stupid bitch'
'Ah, such an intelligent retort, I assume you believe everything can be sorted with violence.'

After this there was not another word said, but I actually felt slightly apprehensive when I got off at the next stop.

I'm 26 years old, and was walking with my 3yr old son to get DD from school, and am shocked that anyone, especially two 15ish year olds(they were talking about the soon-to-be victim being in their class)could make me feel worried about my own safety in this way, I almost wished I hadn't mentioned it.

It has made me a great deal more aware of what elderly people must think, all that was going through my head was that I was 5 months pregnant, what if they punched my stomach? what effect would it have on DS if they were to get off and get agressive?

Was I being unreasonable in expecting them to be polite back and watch what they were saying? Or should I have moved?

15 year old parents!!!! Enough said.

Was walking DS2 age 7 home from school last week when two kids from the local sink school came along, one of them had a mouth like a sewer and was f-ing this and f-ing that, his mate turns round and said to him shut the f* up theres a kid there! He meant well.

you are not being unreasonable.

We have new neighbours and every saturday night so far has been full of their drinking, shouting, loud music and swearing at the top of their voices. Our bed rooms look/back onto their garage which is set up as a pool room and bar - they sit there from about 7 pm til whenever they decide to go to bed.

Well the second saturday I decided I had enough of the f word and the mother f etc - went over very calmly to ask them to please turn the music down ( so loud we could not hear the the tv in our bedroom - right beside them) and to be mindful of their language as I had three little ones who did not need to hear that.

Well one young girl said she would make sure they turned it down and toned it down. At which point some drunken yob shouts at me to go back to my f'in bed.

In your case - I probably would have just moved for the sake of a bus trip. TBH I really think for some people it is such a part of their speech that it is almost second nature and they really have trouble stopping. No excuse mind you.

Poor you Eidsvold.

I recall my solicitor's advice to me about neighbour problems - move.

choc chip - I have been here for 14 years minus the time I spent in the UK, other people have been here for 40 years - why should we move because some parents have decided to help their twenty-somethings get on the property ladder and so bought them a 'cheap' house ( well relatively cheap).

We have however saved up our mowing for an early sunday morning treat - dh on the strimmer, me on the mower - right outside their bedrooms [evil] . see if they like the noise!!

Love the mowing plan

Dear E, I'm not saying that it's right or fair that you move. My point is that it can be (at least in my solicitor's opinion) in reality the best solution.

No you are not unreasonable. That is horrible. You were very brave to say anything. IME teenagers are OK about this - I've walked through a crowd of them before standing around chatting and they still swear but they apologise afterwards 'F*ing hell? Ohh sorry!' Which is lovely but pointless.

In the reception playground the other day as the pupils were coming out one of the parent asked another how she was and she bellowed back 'F*ing freezing!'. I was a little surprised but she gives the impression of being rough as a ploughed field anyway....

I know what you mean about people using swearing as a normal part of language, the students that I don't have a problem with often use swear words, then one will tell the other to watch what theyre saying because their's kids on the bus only to a reply of 'Oh, shit, I didn't realise'!! But at least they meant well.

It wasn't even the swearing that really got to me with the young couple on the bus, kids do hear swearing, I swear, not often but I do.

It was more the graphic detail of a violent attack that I didn't want in my 2yo sons head.

Yes I take that point entirely. The topic was far worse than the language. My kids also hear the odd swearword but as you say it's the use of them as frequently as most people use 'the' that gets wearing.

YANBU

But from the tone of the conversation you can safely assume they would not be reasonable or listen to you.

With you being pregnant, and having ds with you, I think the safer option in that instance, would be to move.

I know you shouldn't have to move seats.

But I remember getting quite stressed as a young child seeing my dad arguing with 2 men who drove into the side of our car. My dad was in the right. But I was terrified at seeing him arguing with someone, it affected me badly, and sobbed for hours afterwards just from the shock at seeing my dad looking so upset and vulnerable. Sometimes it's the better option to just walk away.

All you can do is protect yourself and your children as best you can. We can't change the people around us.

It's definitley a mistake I won't be making again, but tbh, when i was that age I probably had just as bad conversations and would never have spoken to an adult the way they did.
I think because I've never been spoken to in such a way it wasn't waht I was expecting, I mean IMO, two kids talking about beating someone up doesn't mean they'll be aggressive to me, itswim.
I think what I experienced really was a situation that is unlikely in most circumastances, but I'll think twice before I say something again.

I know what you mean. Horrible