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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are there any police detectives here?

43 replies

Teenytinytina · 20/07/2021 10:22

I'm thinking about doing the National Detective Programme, a two-year training process to become a police detective. I have three requests from fellow MNers:

  1. Any police detectives out there who could tell me about the job?
  2. Anyone out there who can say a bit about this programme and what it entails?
  3. I'm early forties, slightly overweight and very menopausal. AIBU to even consider applying?
OP posts:
Tossblanket · 20/07/2021 13:14

I'm a 15 year serving cop in the UK, firearms for over 10.

Are there no civilian investigator roles open?
This will probably ruffle feathers but direct entry anything generally gets little respect by existing officers.

Even worse are direct entry senior officers like supers. Imagine being a 20 year chief inspector and being overlooked for promotion by a direct entry super. Ruins morale.

If you do get in which I wish you good luck for, don't expect to be dealing with anything interesting, it'll be volume shite.

QueenBee52 · 20/07/2021 13:29

Sounds fantastic @Teenytinytina

Good luck 🎉

Stoolpigeon21 · 20/07/2021 13:30

DS is on a graduate detective course. He has completed a stint at university and is currently shadowing/working with front line officers before returning to university in September. With one exception, the PCs he has shadowed so far have been welcoming and helpful. The vast majority of the calls he has attended so far have been domestic abuse Sad. It took 2 years from submitting his application to starting the course. Several people on his course applied more than once before being accepted. Most people on the course are late 20s upwards and have had a previous career - several have Masters qualifications. I think a modern police force needs a mixture of officers with different skills and abilities.

Teenytinytina · 20/07/2021 13:48

Thank you @Teenytinytina

@Stoolpigeon21, yep the latest review of the schemes shows that is very competitive and more successful at recruiting a more diverse cohort.

No, @Nicknacky I haven't given that a second's thought.

OP posts:
PetronellaPea · 20/07/2021 13:53

I have just applied for this OP so am watching this thread avidly for any responses from those with experience in the field.

I’m mid-thirties with two young children, if the 80 hour weeks and zero work life balance are a reality I may have to reconsider if I do manage to get in. I’m also going to apply for the Neighbour Officer role as well once it opens. The thought of doing beat work doesn’t bother me at all.

I have lots of practical experience and excellent communication skills, but have no policing experience (I work in mental health). Interesting to hear about the opportunities with the NCA - definitely worth looking at as well.

Nicknacky · 20/07/2021 13:57

Ok, you either haven’t given it a second thought or you are being sarky and aren’t actually interested in hearing from a current detective so if it’s the latter I will leave you to it.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Jjop · 20/07/2021 14:04

Hi, MPS Detective here for about 17 years. Currently work homicide, have also done a long stint on child abuse and then all your various CiD departments.early 40’s, two kids. Best Job in the world....but I am not sure how i would feel that way joining in my 40’s.

Of the top of my head, consider the following

  1. Shift work
  2. Overtime/ no ability to walk away from a job
  3. Current fitness
  4. Get rid of any ideas you have in your head from TV and books...this is not reality.
  5. How important is work/life balance whist you establish yourself and learn.
  6. You will still have to be involved in confrontation/violent situations. How do you feel about this.
  7. How well do you cope with trauma/stress.
  8. Do you work well under scrutiny/accountability

Feel free to PM any questions I am
Happy to assist.

Teenytinytina · 20/07/2021 14:11

Good luck @PetronellaPea!

@Nicknacky good luck to you too.

Thank you @Jjop (and all of the other serving officers who have taken the time to reply or DM). The only representations I'm familiar with are the reality tv ones such as 24 Hours in Police Custody. How realistic is that would you say?
My background is social work, so I'm familiar with some of the situations in your list. I just kind of fell out of love with it, not in a big way, just kind of got bored. A recent return to the front line has helped but I feel ready for (lots of) new stuff.

OP posts:
JackieJormpJormp4 · 20/07/2021 14:34

I've just got a job in Investigation Support which might be a good option for you? I'm hoping it will give me some experience to build on before I decide to either go down the PIP 1 or the 'proper' police training route. Keep a look out on the jobs site, I've seen quite a lot of these roles come up in my area.

Reallyreallyborednow · 20/07/2021 14:56

You wont be surprised to learn that I’ve already been doing that

I am, tbh. If you’ve been doing that why do you not appear to know that there are civilian investigator roles which would match what you’re looking for?

MagentaRocks · 20/07/2021 15:08

@Nicknacky

Ok, you either haven’t given it a second thought or you are being sarky and aren’t actually interested in hearing from a current detective so if it’s the latter I will leave you to it.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Seems like being sarky which is annoying as you were clearly trying to be helpful. The things @Nicknacky said are real considerations.

@Teenytinytina Nicknacky was trying to tell you what it is like. She is one of the serving officers. You have come across as rude.

Nicknacky · 20/07/2021 15:13

@MagentaRocks Thanks! I’ve seen posts like this before on mumsnet. They generally just want to hear what a great idea it is and they will rock at it.

The reality is a different kettle of fish. Although to be fair, no one knows what policing is really like apart from what they see on the media and programmes (by the op’s own admissions re 24 hours in police custody) unless you have some insight into it.

Reallyreallyborednow · 20/07/2021 15:21

@Nicknacky i also find that to be successful at interview, whatever the role, requires some degree of “insider knowledge”. Which is why so many people start off in call handling or or volunteer roles. Once you’re “in” then generally people are more than willing to help walk you through interview structure, application forms etc.

Watching 24 hours in police custody will not get you through the paper sift, never mind a successful interview. There’s a formula to it.

Being sarky to people who have that knowledge and are trying to help will not get you anywhere either. Working in the police generally- if someone offers help, grab it and say thanks Wink

DottyHarmer · 20/07/2021 15:25

I think we all wish we could zoom into an Inspector Morse-type role solving murders committed by the interesting (but guilty) and neatly leapfrog over all that on the beat stuff with anti-social hours and which might be - eek - dangerous, but I’d be surprised if this were an option!

Can you imagine? “Just the middle-class whodunnits for me, please, oh, and I’ll need to be home by 5.”

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 20/07/2021 15:30

Try the NCA

Sunshinedaisymeadowsxx · 20/07/2021 15:33

There are investigative jobs out there that don’t involve shifts there jsut isn’t progression beyond in the police, ie an advanced investigative officer (AIO) but wage is around 28/29k.
There are roles in NCA as others have said

RealBecca · 20/07/2021 15:38

Have you thought about the national crime agency

Applesandbaynay · 20/07/2021 16:02

I’m a DI. The first thing I would say is that it’s the best job in the world. There’s nothing like the sense of satisfaction you get from seeing a dangerous offender go to prison and a victim getting justice.

We don’t have this entry route in my force and as much as I’d like to be open minded I’m concerned that sometimes people see a detective as not really being a police officer. Having worked both uniform and CID in various departments I can hand on heart tell you that you are really likely to be putting longer hours in as a detective. We try to make sure people have a work life balance and look after our staff but the reality is you are not a civilian and once you join you no longer have the same employment rights. When you pick up a prisoner you stay until the jobs done if they need remanding. If that means early hours of the morning then so be it. You can be lawfully ordered to stay on duty if you refuse. I don’t mean to sound dramatic but this really is the reality. If you are working on a murder I will also expect you back in the next morning and the following morning as well. Because that’s what needs to happen.

There’s nothing wrong with joining the police when you are older. We welcome people from all walks of life and experience. But from what you have said this might be an aspect worth reflecting on.

Also a couple of people have mentioned violent confrontations. These tend to be less frequent as detective but you need to be able to confident in handling yourself in a physical confrontation often with someone bigger and stronger than you because you’ve got to remember you’re going to be in office wear so no safety boots and not always wearing body armour although you can carry covert body armour. As a DI I expect my staff to go out and make their own arrests unless there is a very good reason not to. Otherwise we might as well hire civilians instead.

Prior to this scheme every detective has always spent years rolling around on the floor on a Friday and Saturday night so you usually have a good grounding in fighting. Again this is not impossible to overcome, it really depends on you as a person your psychical strength and ability to defend yourself. The strength test is a bit of a joke, it’s designed not to discriminate rather than a minimum standard.

Generally I don’t think these schemes are necessarily a bad thing if you going into it knowing you will have your work cut out for you because you won’t have that experience and are prepared to work hard to make up for it and have good physical strength. I would strongly recommend taking up some martial arts or something similar if you don’t already. I can guarantee people will want to see how you get on with arrests, whether you shy away from getting hands on with people. This would give you a bit of confidence in your abilities which will stand you in good stead. If this is something you are reading and thinking… I would never do then it might not be the job for you.

Happy to talk further if you want to DM me. I genuinely love what I do and will talk about it all day but it’s not for everyone and was a real eye opener for me.

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