In-laws

[Gymhairdontcare]

In the past I've had a real difficult time with the in- laws, lots has gone on and as a result I've no confidence and really hit rock bottom with it all, comments on my weight, not respecting my wishes, ruining special occasions if I didn't do what they wanted, When I tried to get everyone together not one of them was interested in getting together until it was a birthday or they wanted to, one of them told me I wasn't family etc left off watapp family groups etc

My aibu is partner thinks that in the future I will attend their family get togethers, in my head I'm done with them cba anymore and don't see myself going to anything, I feel so awkward around them! Have chest pains stress migraines etc! Aibu to not go to anything again ? To still carry on a relationship with partner and still not go to anything ? They don't even text to see how dd is.

@BackforGood they wouldn't accept that I didn't want their snappy dog around dd who I looked after pre dd because they were so worried said snappy dog would bite their other grandchild yet when mine was born and I asked the dog to be kept away they brought her over several times and told me I was ridiculous to think their lovely snappy dog would bite my dd even though this lovely dog has snapped at a child before !

They don't listen where my dd allergies are concerned either

You could point out to DH, when he wants you to go to a "family do" that the list drawn up by his brother did not include you, so obviously you won't intrude on "real family".

[quote Gymhairdontcare]@User112 what does your husband say about the kids not doing ? My partner doesn't like it if I don't let dd go ( which i don't ) as I don't trust them either xx[/quote]
I'm sorry but DD is his child too, and you don't get to dictate that he can't take her to family events.

@saraclara so you'd allow your child to go knowing full well they will most probably take the snappy dog who could bite dd because my partner doesn't stand up for us ?!

Your child has a right to know her family. You either go along if you want to protect her from this dog, or you trust her father to keep her safe.
You said it's a snappy dog, so I'm not envisaging a huge pit bull.

But yes, you're coming across as very controlling. Your husband can't make you go, but nor call you prevent him and your DD going.

@saraclara if they wanted to bother with dd they ask about her or come and see her, they haven't for over a year!

It's all about appearances and what it would look like to everyone else

The reality is you cant stop your dp taking your dd to see them if he wants to. That's a right you actually dont have. So it would be sensible to allow it just to avoid the row.

[quote Gymhairdontcare]@saraclara so you'd allow your child to go knowing full well they will most probably take the snappy dog who could bite dd because my partner doesn't stand up for us ?![/quote]
Ah now that is a very bad scenario. Honestly I despair of some people.

I'm glad you have supportive and loving parents.