Can someone explain the reasons behind these differences between Americans and Brits?

[kurstytemple]

I've noticed that Americans greet people often with, 'hey, what are you doing?' even when it's completely clear what the person is doing, ie, picking them up from the airport, bumping into them shopping. As opposed to the British greeting, 'hi how are you?'

Also Americans can say bye ONCE on the telephone yet us British folk seem to say bye about 1 million times repeatedly whilst hanging up the phone. For example, Americans - 'it was good speaking to you, bye'. Brits - 'it was good speaking to you, okay, you too, okay, bye, bye, bye, bye, byeeeee, bye, bu-bye, byeeeee'. What is that all about?

Additionally, I've been watching a lot of teen mom 2 and the court system over there just seems so much more straightforward and fair. Not sure if that's an accurate representation. But for instance, a person can go directly to the court for custody arrangements instead of all the faffing about before getting to that point, seems to be easier to get protection orders from someone and seems to be a bit more lenient with young people, making deals with them to ensure that certain convictions don't go on their record hence not making them unemployable. I still have to declare a breach of the peace I got at 18 pissed as a fart.

Anyway there's my ramblings. Anyone else noticed this or care to explain why the differences? Or point out any of their own for me to ponder

Also Americans can say bye ONCE on the telephone yet us British folk seem to say bye about 1 million times repeatedly whilst hanging up the phone. For example, Americans - 'it was good speaking to you, bye'. Brits - 'it was good speaking to you, okay, you too, okay, bye, bye, bye, bye, byeeeee, bye, bu-bye, byeeeee'. What is that all about?

Haha, yeah, wtf is that about?! I didn't realise it was a British thing, but yeah even clients at work do this. It's really weird 😆

@Albien

I often don’t say bye on the phone at all. The conversation comes to a natural end and I hang up. If I do say bye it’s short and I don’t wait for a reply before hanging up.

Is this real

I’m British and do the trailing goodbye myself. I think it has to do with the usual meandering, slightly apologetic British style. We are a very indirect people.

My late grandmother was a lovely, sensitive person but her German upbringing meant she would just end a phone call by putting the phone down when she thought the conversation was finished. More than once I caught my mother holding the phone and looking slightly bewildered. I thought it was hilarious.

Is this real
Yes of course? Like I’ll be talking to my Dad and I’ll say can I drop by now? And he’ll say yep ok, and I say ok and hang up. Or talking to DH saying where did you put the back door key? And he tells me and I say found it! And hang up. To be fair DH often complains that I’m too abrupt.

she would just end a phone call by putting the phone down when she thought the conversation was finished
That’s what I do. Although I do make a mental effort to say bye if it’s a work call or a non relative because I don’t want to offend anyone.

Linguists call the greeting thing “phatic” communication, OP - it’s a functional bit of language that indicates only that you want to communicate (the actual content doesn’t matter, and is very culturally specific). Think of “how do you do?”, or “ca va?” (sorry for no cedilla!), which both perform the same kind of function with a similar bit of language. You’re not meant to answer the question as an actual question; you’re meant to just repeat the “paired” phrase to indicate you’re acknowledging the request to communicate.

The phone thing is similar. Some linguists posit that these phatic sayings suggest we have a strong urge towards pairing these functional communications - like a question and answer - and that we feel very uncomfortable in a social interaction if a “pairing” of saying and response isn’t properly completed. Listen to someone answering the telephone: they will almost always say “hello” (or some other functional saying - at one time used to be the number). Then the other person will say “hello”. Then the first person will almost always involuntarily say “hello” back again.

The reason? The urge to “pair” these purely functional communicative bits of language is so strong, linguists posit that the first time you say hello, you are actually answering to the noise of the phone, and not the person on the other end. You’re completing the “greeting pairing” with the phone itself. The second “phatic” greeting pairing is the one you’re actually having with the person on the other end!

The greeting itself is just a formality, it might seem funny to someone outside of that language community, but it won’t to people using it, because it’s just naturalised as functional and they don’t even notice it any more.

There are whole disciplines devoted to researching this kind of stuff - it’s v fascinating!

USian expat here in the East Midlands. I’ve been here 15 years and I still struggle with the greetings sometimes. It’s essentially “alright?” To which I feel an absolute need to respond “Good thanks you?” Or similar. Which is apparently not the correct response per these sort of threads, but nothing else seems appropriate.

“What’s up?” Is probably what I say the most if I’m the one initiating. “What are you doing” sounds completely bizarre as a greeting, like someone has learned it in ESL class and is about to ask about their aunt’s pen under the table or something. If you were living in Arizona at the time I imagine “sweating profusely” was the standard response anyway

I have recently been in meetings with Americans and I cannot stand their fake enthusiasm. Mundane aspects of work seem to be "empowering" and/or "inspiring". Today I heard, "I got goosebumps thinking about this". If that's true then I genuinely despair for the guys life.

IMO these are very strong words that should only be used in exceptional circumstances, not because Jenny came up with a new idea for some boring process.

Driving young is a necessity. . Where we live everything is far apart, there is no public transit, and there are no taxis. If you want to work you must have a car. If you don’t want to spend all your time driving your teen around they must have a car, even for school. Thankfully Kids can drive to school at 15 because ages 13 and 14 are tough on parents Even though we got lucky and live very close to the school dd will attend, she will often be required to be present at classes or activities in other buildings that may be 50 miles away. Those aren’t far away schools, they are just the next closest. She will be getting a learners permit the first day she is eligible and we are already saving to buy her a car.

I'm not sure really, I think I just say 'hi, how are you?', Or 'hi, how's it going?' But I sort of don't wait for an answer if they're just an acquaintance and carry on up the aisle I'm British (English) and it drives me bonkers the amount of times we say goodbye or love you on the phone! But if you just hang up you feel rude lol.

I think you might need your ears tested! Never heard any American say “What you doing?” as a greeting. But “How you doing?” is ubiquitous, and was of course given its own twist by Joey “How YOU doin’?” Tribbiani…

Though if course some British people do say “Wotcha!” which could maybe have its origins in “What are you doing?”

Australians say “How are you going?” which always sounds like they are translating literally from French.

As a side note though, I thought the American justice system was a lot harsher than the Uk. I don't have much knowledge of it and would like to know more, (I studied law but only in crown court, for a year only!). Don't a lot of teenagers get sent to religious camps/ army camps etc, for bad behaviour?

Re the court thing. My D.C. school had the sheriff come in to talks to them about the age of criminal responsibility (10) and what they can be charged for. They Invited parents to a session to hear what would be discussed. It put the fear into me which was probably the point. A juvenile can go to prison for 40 years! Graffiti of a school or church or public building was a felony whereas normally it would be a misdemeanour. If your D.C. got arrested they can just be taken off to juvie and parents don’t have to be notified, if it’s a Friday they’d be there all weekend without you knowing where they are. Convictions can prevent you from being accepted to college at all.

@HaveringWavering lol! I've heard the characters in only fools and horses say 'whatcha (harry)?'
I quite like it with the cockney accent...My husband doesn't lol. I thought that was London talk.

Haven’t heard that greeting before. I don’t do the multiple bye thing - I’m English but have autism so not great at knowing when a call is ended.

For custody and courts remember that there is a different system in each state (as well as the national Federal law.) I don’t see the being able to just easily get custody from for example in Illinois there will be mediation if parents don’t agree before there is a full court hearing.

www.illinoislegalaid.org/legal-information/starting-case-get-parental-responsibilities-or-custody

The UK (I know about England) definitely has problems with criminal justice including racism and long term effects of stupid behaviour but I don’t think US in general is a good place to look. They have very high rates of imprisonment disproportionately affecting Black and other minorities. From a study
by Prison Policy Initiative (a non profit - like a uk charity)

www.prisonpolicy.org/research/race_and_ethnicity/

Key Statistics:
Percent of Black Americans in the general U.S. population: 13% +
Percent of people in prison or jail who are Black: 40% +
Incarceration rate for Black vs white Americans: 2,306 vs. 450 per 100,000 +
Percent of people serving life, life without parole, or “virtual life” sentences who are Black: 48% +
Arrest rate for Black vs white Americans: 6,109 vs. 2,795 per 100,000. +
Number of arrests of Black Americans in 2018: 2.8 million +
Percent of people on probation or parole who are Black: 30% +

Each US state has different rules about conviction disclosure. I’m England and convictions can be spent for a lot of crimes though they may show on enhanced criminal record check.

www.inbrief.co.uk/court-judgements/spent-convictions/

In the dim and distant days when phones had "dials" and "receivers" there was something psychological about setting the receiver down. So you were often trapped listening to someone ramble on when you wanted to hang up. Nowadays with landline handsets similar to mobiles I just say something like "Ill leave it with you then. Bye" and jam my finger on the off button as Im saying Bye. This gives the other party no chance to continue the conversation. I learned this trick in customers services.

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Just a warning, although there's nothing too bad on this clip, if you watch other clips on this channel, they do cover all sorts of things including USA police stuff, & they really don't edit much out at all. Some of it is pretty grim.

I’ve definitely noticed the ‘hey, what are you up to?’ thing. Even over the phone, when they can’t see me, I still find it odd when it’s the first thing they say. So they don’t ask how you are, but what you’re up to. I think it’s meant affectionately though and it seems to cover ‘how’s everything, what’s going on, are you doing ok?’ At least that’s how I interpret it. 😬

Northerners often say 'Hiya--y'all right?'. This has led to many confused responses based on why this person is concerned about them~!!!

Now I’m thinking I’ve been pairing opening communications incorrectly!

Hi Y’all right
I reply “yeah, you?”
(Is that correct ?)

@HerRoyalNotness that's so scary. I knew you could get kicked out of college for misdemeaners/ felonys, and it went on records, but I had no idea 10 year olds could get 40 years.
I think in England you get like 30 years as an adult for murder/ manslaughter with intent!
Does it differ by state?

@SupermanInk

I’ve definitely noticed the ‘hey, what are you up to?’ thing. Even over the phone, when they can’t see me, I still find it odd when it’s the first thing they say. So they don’t ask how you are, but what you’re up to. I think it’s meant affectionately though and it seems to cover ‘how’s everything, what’s going on, are you doing ok?’ At least that’s how I interpret it. 😬

It really is the equivalent of ‘what is going on in your world’

I’m American and acceptable greetings are

‘Hey, how’s it going’
‘What are you up to’ shortened version of ‘what are up to these days’ which is also acceptable.

‘How have you been’
‘How are you/How are you doing’

Now the real trick comes with acceptable answers to these questions. In some parts of the country, you could be missing limbs and actively bleeding out and your answer would be “Great, and you?” Where in other parts of the country you could have just won a multi-million lottery and the only acceptable answer is “Not too bad, you?”

So yeah, it’s less about the greeting and more the response.

Oh yeah and the driving thing is big. Most kids are driving under their learners permit at 15 and schedule their drivers test as close to their 16th birthday as possible. For a lot of kids their test is scheduled on their birthday. (I think mine was about 2 weeks of turning 16)

A lot of schools have drivers ed as an optional class so it’s just very typical in most of the US to be a licensed driver very early.

'Can someone explain the reasons behind these differences between Americans and Brits?'

I'd say it's because we're totally different countries with a different history, politics, values etc etc etc.

(Brit living in US)

The court systems here are very variable and a lot depends on which court you are in, for what, your background and legal representation etc.

As for enthusiasm, not all Americans are like that in meetings and many people here will make fun of meeting behaviour like that. It's parodied on comedy shows. There's regional differences in the US too, Northeasterners are considered to be more direct and blunt for example while Midwesterners are more chirpy. New Yorkers and Philadelphians will have entire exchanges consisting largely of the word "fuck" shouted at each other. I've seen women greet each other with "hey bitch!" and they weren't trying to start a fight.