Considering a 5 hours per day school run

[Cactusowl]

My son has been offered a place at a lovely school which is around an hour away. It’s an independent SEN school and will suit him so much better than his current mainstream.
We are taking our council to a tribunal in the hope they will name the school on my sons EHCP and therefore pay the fees/taxi. The court date isn’t set until October. I have the option to pay for the school myself so he can start in September, I will have to drive him myself for a minimum of half a term or max 3 years if we lose our appeal.

Has anyone done a long school run like this? Was it manageable and did it get any easier? AIBU to even consider this journey is sustainable?

[Merryoldgoat]

It can take me 40 minutes to get to my place of work which is 4 miles away - we’ll in excess of an hour when traffic is fucked.

Takes 12 mins in normal traffic.

Is it REALLY an hour away? Or SHOULD it be an hour away,

I work at an independent school - we have parents rethink our school because it’s 10 mins further than some of our competitors.

[stuntfarter]

To go to do an airport run from my house costs £80 , it takes 70 mins , that is similar distance to your school run , would your local authority pay this much ?

[Cactusowl]

@QueenBee52 DS visited the school for a few trials days, it opened his eyes to a whole new world of a school which meets his needs - meant he really struggled to settle back into his mainstream!

[VaguelyInteresting]

A few thoughts:

Could you find a school hours job in the town close to the school- or if you don’t need to work, any volunteering? That way you could drop, work, pick up- and not waste hours of your life.

Do any families near you use the school? Could you car pool so you only have to drive half the week?

[MrsPelligrinoPetrichor]

I couldn't do it personally. What if your car breaks down? Etc when it's poor driving conditions? Snow etc

The same as everyone else who has to drive to school and there are plenty who do- get your car fixed and have a snow day at home.

I would do it, especially as there's a city you can shop etc and you'll do your errands etc there .

It's not going to be forever and it's important he's settled . Good luck.

[Cactusowl]

@stuntfarter that amount is roughly correct. There is already a council paid taxi route going to school which starts about 10 mins drive from my house so DS could be added to that if we win the appeal. Councils spend a fortune on taxis for SEN children especially when they need to send children out of their own LEA due to lack of provision or spaces.

[Bodgers]

My mum did a 45 mins each way journey for my brothers when we were younger for a total of about ten years (with some shared lifts / occasional buses along the way). It was definitely inconvenient at times but if it’s only 3 years, during term time, I’m sure you’ll make it work

[Heronatemygoldfish]

I've been driving DS 45-50 mins each way for his entire life, from when he was in a baby seat and going to nursery. You do stuff in the car, you talk, there's tablets and books if distractions are needed. I don't think it's a coincidence that DS is one of the school's better readers.

Somewhen in the middle we realised he was ASD and we got a Dx. It's not made any difference to the school run. We're still commuting and he doesn't mind it at all. So it can work. It's worse right now as we're doing there-back (work at home) there-back; before covid it was there-work-back which was much easier for me!!

Good luck OP - and you have to do what works for your family.

[depopsa]

As a parent of children with SEN (but no drivers' license, so can't speak on the driving part), I imagine it's worth it. Your struggles with mainstream school sound unbearable and as a PP said, those education years are so precious. My children want to try mainstream secondary first/don't meet the threshold for a specialist provision, but if it was purely my choice I'd 100% go for a school that would meet their needs as a matter of course. Having to argue for every small adjustment is soul destroying and shows that your child is not in the right place.

[Rosieandtwinkle]

No SEN but do have a 45-55 min each way school run. DC loves the school and is thriving in it which makes it easier. Also have made a couple of friends who live along the route so we are able to do some car sharing which also makes a difference. We would reconsider if DC was ever unhappy about the journey but 5 years in it still works.

[TheVolturi]

Buy a camper van and drop him off then park on local supermarket for the day chilling in your camper!

[Foxyloxy1plus1]

I too, think that if you take on the journey yourself, or fund a taxi yourself, the LA will absolve themselves from responsibility, or try to.

It sounds as though the school is the best fit for your child, but I’m sure you know that local authorities don’t want to spend money on specialist provision.

[Bananahana]

Regardless of who drives that’s a long journey for your son. You don’t seem to touch on that in your post, just on the impact on you.

It’s a no from me.

[PixieBigShoes]

Absolutely - fingers crossed it ends up in your favour without it going to court (although this can be infuriating once you've spent months gathering evidence to support your case). Sounds like you know it's the right decision. (I wouldn't do it ordinarily but it sounds like it will be the only place to meet your child's needs.) Best of luck with it all

[MrsPelligrinoPetrichor]

An hour each way is completely normal for many, many children. Not everyone lives just down the road from the local school.

[LeSquigh]

I have a very long school run too, not for the same reasons, but my child was happy in his school and we moved so he stayed at the same school. Since lockdown it’s been a lot easier but it’s still a total of three hours of driving a day. During normal times it’s 4-4.5 hours a day. I’m just used to it really! And I’ve got many years of it yet so whilst it’s not ideal I am resigned to it and it’s just the way it is. So it’s definitely doable, but not ideal.

[ConstanceGracy]

That sounds brutal and if he’s ill at school and you need to pick him up then he’ll have to wait 2 and a half hours for you to come and get him

[QueenBee52]

[quote Cactusowl]@QueenBee52 DS visited the school for a few trials days, it opened his eyes to a whole new world of a school which meets his needs - meant he really struggled to settle back into his mainstream![/quote]


bless him... thats positive 🌸

[MrsPelligrinoPetrichor]

That sounds brutal and if he’s ill at school and you need to pick him up then he’ll have to wait 2 and a half hours for you to come and get him

2.5?

[reader108]

I did it for four years five hours in the car every day. I volunteered two days a week then had to pay someone to walk my dog. We moved 18 months ago when it fitted for my older child to go to college its now only one and a half hours in the car still occasionally volunteer.
Found/find the journey helpful for ds to ‘talk’ about his day. Then when he starts again at home I could say you told me in the car. LEA have paid a mileage allowance once he got an EHCP after a year of fighting. Maybe only a year left to go not that I’m counting down you understand.

[KeepingTrack]

@Cactusowl

My son has been offered a place at a lovely school which is around an hour away. It’s an independent SEN school and will suit him so much better than his current mainstream.
We are taking our council to a tribunal in the hope they will name the school on my sons EHCP and therefore pay the fees/taxi. The court date isn’t set until October. I have the option to pay for the school myself so he can start in September, I will have to drive him myself for a minimum of half a term or max 3 years if we lose our appeal.

Has anyone done a long school run like this? Was it manageable and did it get any easier? AIBU to even consider this journey is sustainable?

For context.

Qhen i was a child, I had a hour commute to go to school. One hour one way, one hour the other. It was never an issue.

If it ends up lasting 3 years, I think i would be looking at a job/volunterring duing school hours instead. But that's just me.

[duckduckswan]

I was doing 3 hours a day on a school run up to September when my son started to refuse school after his special school massively traumatised him (an other story). 3 hours seemed long enough at the time but I'd happily do that and more if he was at a school where he was happy. I'd be tempted to keep him off until the tribunal is complete. IT'd be more evidence that no where can meet his needs and transport must be provided by the LA. Good luck x

[PufferFish]

I haven’t done this but someone I know did. She started a hobby-based course at a college close to the school, volunteered at an animal rescue, did her food shop, caught up on paperwork, read/watched a movie etc during school hours.. Turned the distance into a positive and her son flourished in the specialist provision.

[KeepingTrack]

I also agree with @reader108.

Those hours were actually amazing. My dad used to drop me at school so I had one hour of actually talkig to him everydfay. I wouodnt have had the relationship I have with him wo that.
The hour back was with my mum and the opportunity to talk about the day etc...

My dcs walk to school. I'm actually finding myself 'missing' those quality time with them tbh.

[EwwSprouts]

Agree with PP I would get a volunteering role or p/t employment near the school to keep you busy that end some days.