Thanks for all your thoughtful replies, both for and against. Please excuse rambling, it's been a long day.
Hmm. Having read them and thought it thru again, I have some (possibly inflammatory) thoughts:
I agree that the total (which I hadn't seen) is impressive. And the viral idea is innovative and works. And yes, in the time it's taken me to word this, I could have added another 1000 grains.
And - of course - I agree that it is far better for any one family to have eaten today than not, regardless of how the rice got to them. That, as several posts said, is the bottom line.
But.. I don't believe that is necessarily true on a macro level (altho this might be proven illogical).
There has to be a way of raising awareness that is more careful of the dignity of those it aims to help, and less exploitative of the thoughtlessness of those it is targetting.
I can't find a metaphor that fits my feeling exactly, but the closest I can get is this: If I offer a destitute woman a job as a topless model, it's certainly better than letting that individual woman starve; but it diminishes her as a person, and diminishes women in general.
I know this doesn't strictly work because the starving family isn't having to perform for us - but my point is about whether all help is good help. (Although I do actually think we are treating them as entertainment, to some degree.)
Fundamentally, I think I recoil at any equation of entertainment with food for starving people.
'Hey, you clever, clever people| Every word you define is worth ten - yes, you heard it right, TEN! - whole grains of rice to a starving developing word family".
There is something slightly obscene in attempting to define the value of ten grains of rice for that family - it's indefinable. It's life.
And something definitely obscene in defining that value as 'knowing the definition of 'oriel''".
It is true, Beansprout, that Children In Need etc is more guilty of the entertainment = relief equation than freerice.com. But it's rarely quite so excruciatingly specific. No-one says "dress up as a male schoolgirl and you could buy one child a whole hour - yes, ONE HOUR! - of life!"
My bottom line: the relief of suffering is empirically a good thing. But there are 'more good' and 'less good' ways of achieving this.
And that just because the individual families aren't saying 'don't treat my dreadful situation thoughtlessly" doesn't mean we aren't doing so.
Thoughts?