I have this year become a 'single mum on benefits' - (having to label myself as that with the stigma attached to it is enough to make me want to work regardless of whether or not I'd be better/worse off financially!) I'd honestly say that I am now in a much more financially stable position than when I was with exDP, however this is due to the fact that as a 'single mum on benefits' I get my rent paid, which was a huge chunk of our income as a couple, I also am not accepted for any sort of credit, therefore the money I get is cash in my hands each week, I don't have credit cards/catalogues etc to pay out for as they won't give me them. I think the difference of opinions comes from the fact that necessity is comparative, my opinion of what is a necessity in life has shifted now, I am very careful with the money I do have, some things cannot even be considered on my financial horizon, things such as holidays, meals out, new furniture, clothes bought anywhere other than primark. Everything has to be paid for in small amounts at a time, and because I am on benefits I pay my household bills in small amounts also, TV license, water, and my gas & electric paid on a pre-payment meter, makes me very aware of waste therefore saving me huge amounts each year I expect as I scrimp on using my heating/electrical products for example, wash my dishes by hand because the dishwasher is too costly to run. I spend very small amounts on shopping, there are no 'luxuries' in my life and god forbid when I may need to replace something as costly as a washing machine for example, I couldn't do that, thats why there are such things as social fund loans, exactly for that reason, they are paid back from your benefit, similar to working people putting things on credit cards.
It feels like because I don't earn my own money, I should live off broth and dress in second hand clothes! Should we struggle just to make the people in the fortunate position to be working feel better? I am not in the position to be working right now, I have two DCs under school age and the fact is, with the ridiculous housing costs compared with the national average income, I would really struggle and give my family a rubbish life if I was to work and would it be worth it once childcare is deducted from the pitiful wage I could earn, and the effect on my kids not being at home with me.
And how important is disposable income anyway, families who are working, more than likely are paying into a mortgage which is setting them up with a valuable asset for the future, they are contributing to society and with that have confidence, a sense of pride, life experience, friends, social life, and the pleasure of being a family which I don't have and to me that is worth so much more than x amount of money!