To resent the fact that the in-laws (DP's mother, brother and his fiancee) expect to be invited for Christmas ..... again?

[Caroline1852]

They were invited last Christmas and the Christmas before that. Do two consecutive invites make this a family tradition? I feel trapped.

idling - thanks.

When we started a family, dh and I decided that Christmas day would be spent at home with no visitors. I think children get excited enough about Christmas without factoring in other people and other presents. Plus seeing family on other days means that the children really get to look at their presents rather than tossing one aside to leap on the next one.

I have invited my MIL and SIL (single mother to one child) to come on Boxing day or another day, but after they both individually pulled out at the last minute - because something "better" had come up - I've given up inviting them at all. They are welcome to come to exchange presents, but I no longer cater for them.

I think you need to plan Christmas day at your sister's and, if the subject of who's doing what arises, just say "Oh we're going to my sister's this year. What are you doing?"

Would it make it easier if you asked them to arrive with food? My cousin usually hosts Christmas dinner because her house is the most suitable. But to stop her slaving in the kitchen so much, we all bring food to 'help' out with workload and expense. This year, I'm bringing a ham, someone else will bring a vegetable dish, someone else bread, someone else pudding, etc. I think it works well......hope she thinks so too!

Freckle - I think you and your husband made a very wise decision (keeping Christmas for yourselves) because inviting people once starts a family "tradition" and if you are fool enough to invite them twice consecutively it is a "tradition" without any need for invites, they might if I am lucky say: I'll get the crackers this year - one less thing for you to worry about.

christmas for us is:
christingle service christmas eve, christmas day at home, boxing day at paul's mums. lots of tooing and froing between everyone's houses though.

never been invited to go to see my parents at christmas and they can't be bothered to come down here. : (