To ask for positive outcomes with a speech delay?

[Dazedandconfused28]

My toddler is 2yrs 4 months. He is only saying a few words & a couple of phrases - but inconsistently.

He is seeing a private SALT, and is under the care of portage. We've been referred for audiology, but the waiting list is so long. We have a full paediatric assessment in June.

We are seeing some limited progress, his eye contact is improving, and he is starting to be more reciprocal in his play. But I am so anxious about his future. The few times I have seen him around other children his age, the difference is stark. Whilst he does seem to comprehend language, it is nowhere near the level of other children.

Did anyone else experience this, and did you have a positive outcome?

@PivotPivotPivottt

My daughter started seeing a speech therapist last year just before she turned 3 as she could only say a handful of words and no sentences. She only had a couple of sessions then we went into lockdown so that was that over. She turned 3 in May last year and now almost 1 year on her speech is amazing and she's talking in sentences.

She's still a bit behind IMO but I have no concerns at all that she won't catch up where as a year ago I was convinced she'd never speak.

Nothing at all I done or tried helped her speech along she just started speaking on her own terms and that was during lockdown so no nursery to help her along either.

My DS (3y 10m) was the same as Pivot's DD. This time last year he could say a few words, no sentences and mainly noises. He had 1 SALT appointment the week before lockdown and nothing since (though they say they'll get to us eventually ). He turned 3 in May.

Between March and June he's speech improved a lot whilst nursery was closed. We didn't do anything extra, just talked to him and he would sing along to music (Disney music all day every day ).

Now he can talk in full sentences and he learns new words all the time. He is still behind his peers as his words aren't always clear and he gets stuck with what to say, but I'm not really worried. Listening to him sing Jingle Bells at Christmas was amazing. And he loves the Jolly Phonics songs.

Mine is 6 and had speech delay at 2.4.

She probably isn't classed as a "positive outcome" because she has since been diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, SPD, speech disorder, auditory processing and learning difficulties however I don't see that negatively. She is absolutely bloody brilliant.

Once I got my head around OUR normal rather than everyone else's normal and accepted her for the amazing little girl she is I would say yes, we really have had a positive outcome but that was my feelings changing and not her.

@fightingSmiths

not sure what you mean by positive outcome.

DC started out with speech delay, later diagnosis of autism and learning difficulties. Teen now and can talk (not age appropriate), attends a special school and will never be independent but has achieved so much more than I ever dared to dream in the earlier days. The most caring and loving person in my life by a mile. I wouldn't change the world for them.

Does that count?

My son sounds exactly the same. If “being the same intellectually as everyone else” is the positive outcome, then no, it’s not a positive outcome. But he’s like your son, fightingSmiths: loving and caring, and he perceives everyone in the same way: he doesn’t see their age, or disability, or colour - being “cool” isn’t in his vocabulary. He loves everyone and sees everyone the same and of equal worth. Maybe people, including myself, could learn from these kids...

I do understand your worries, OP, and I was exactly the same, fearing the worst and in knots about the future. Your son’s present and future will be different or maybe similar to someone else’s here, but it won’t be as scary as you think. You’re doing all the right things, there will be a ton of help and support along the way and some of the best, most non-judgemental people I’ve met are parents of SEN children. It’s like a club, we help and cheer each other’s kids along, every tiny achievement is a thrill. No bitching over who plays Mary in the school Nativity play: we’re just happy for every child there. The same applies to the professionals.

So if that’s the “worst outcome” - it’s actually okay. Like the pp, I wouldn’t change my son for anything, he’s brought absolute joy and a new way of viewing the world into our lives.

@Dazedandconfused28

My toddler is 2yrs 4 months. He is only saying a few words & a couple of phrases - but inconsistently.

He is seeing a private SALT, and is under the care of portage. We've been referred for audiology, but the waiting list is so long. We have a full paediatric assessment in June.

We are seeing some limited progress, his eye contact is improving, and he is starting to be more reciprocal in his play. But I am so anxious about his future. The few times I have seen him around other children his age, the difference is stark. Whilst he does seem to comprehend language, it is nowhere near the level of other children.

Did anyone else experience this, and did you have a positive outcome?

My child never spoke until 4. Had an operation on theur ears and I kid you not within a month was comparable to peers. It is primarily grammar, understanding rules of tenses etc that is an issue, I would say because they'd missed out on the first 4.5 years of full exposure.

My little boy is 2.5 and has expressive speach delay, he seems to understand most things but is mainly still using single words, has started saying a few 2 words together, like "my mummy" "more biscuits" which I think is a good sign, he has been assessed and referred for a 6 speach sessions however there is a waiting list of 14 months, which is not very helpful tho I can understand. If you can, we went private just to get some pointers it's over zoom due to the current situation, but it's actually really good and helpful and she's already seen a massive improvement, I think it's all starting to click. Don't worry about your little one, they all do things in there own time.

Check his hearing. It's a big issue in speech delay.

DS 6 was diagnosed with verbal dyspraxia aged 4. Told he wouldn't talk properly. He can now speak and Alexa understands most of what he says.

Ds2 had a speech delay, he didn’t speak until he was 3, he had 3 years of SALT and by the time he was 7 you would never have known there had been an issue. He had 1-1 therapy every 2 to 3 weeks for about 45 minutes for just over 3 years.
He has some autistic traits but nothing that school would pursue a diagnosis for and it doesn’t particularly affect him academically, it’s more socially he struggles to make friends, but we are getting there. He’s 10 now.

My eldest didn't speak at all no words until they were over 3. Had lots of input from various specialists, speech and language, autism assessment, hearing checked etc. Just diagnosed as a speech delay. At 3 we started them part time 2 mornings a week in a preschool and at the time we felt awful because we felt they weren't able to communicate with the staff and other children but honestly it was the best thing we did for them. Once they started to talk the progression was very fast from that point. About 6 months after they started talking we were able to be discharged from SALT because they had came on so well. Now 9 years old and no issues with speech ever since.

My twins had terrible speech delay and the Salt we got was dreadful. It could have a whole thread to itself.

Eventually with help from nursery, they went into P1 at a school which specialised in speech and language difficulties. You could be there from P1 to P3.
They made huge progress, so huge infact that they went back into main stream by P2 with age appropriate speech.
They are now 12 with normal speech and doing fine at school without being high fliers.
Their friend from that time stayed longer in the speech school but did go main stream eventually
I would say her speech still sounds a little odd.. Almost like a deaf person speaks but perfectly understandable. And she does well at school too and seems to be a bit of an academic high flier.
So thats two good but different outcomes.

Thank you so much for sharing, whether our toddler turns out to have ASD or LD or if he will develop speech at some point, & catch up with his peers developmentally, it is so good to hear about other people's experiences, at what is a worrying time for us, and when the future feels so uncertain.

I've been where you are OP.
Years ago I was recommended this book on here to encourage my child to talk. It's horrendously expensive but absolutely excellent. You may be able to borrow it from the library.
www.amazon.co.uk/Takes-Two-Talk-Practical-Children/dp/0921145527/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&crid=3BI9C8H2ZQWJM&keywords=it+takes+two+to+talk&sprefix=It+takes%2Caps%2C164&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1614764552&sr=8-1

I also remember worrying so much about his future, in fact he has turned out just fine.

My cousin had a severe speech delay, this was back in the 80s, he had speech therapy. He now earns a very good living giving promotional speeches.

They will start with a hearing test, the SALT team, and take it from there.

To answer your questions, OP, 2 of mine had significant delays. DS1 didn't speak properly until about 4. No hearing issues. Neurotypical. But I was so incredibly worried. He made a huge leap in the summer before reception. I find kids make these massive developmental leaps in the early years, NT and ASD alike.

My youngest also had significant speech delay. The difference with him was that he was a bit 'spacey', sometimes seeming to be elsewhere... there was a little invisible veil over him. My eldest was very clued into people, very sociable and engaging. His speech was not great, but he was very outgoing and babbled a lot. He didn't speak properly but he was heard! My youngest was and is the sweetest boy, sweet as honey but he was such a quiet baby- unusually quiet- as in, you'd forget he was there quiet. He didn't quite connect with people. With me? Yes. Others? Not so much. He was very calm though. He was just extremely focused on flowers, blades of grass, shadows of jets on the green, the movement of clouds above. He was a very, very happy, cuddly baby, just a love sponge, but a bit 'dreamy', didn't respond to his name, didn't point. He was diagnosed as autistic. Fast forward to now. He is 6 going on 7 here and he is an absolute chatterbox. He has an amazing vocabulary and he's very good at taking turns talking.

Typically, ASD kids can get on their soapbox and talk about their exclusive interests. They can have trouble engaging in conversation because chatting tends to be one-sided. But we worked a lot with DS. He used PEC cards to learn the names of things but didn't really need them beyond age 3. I've used PEC cards a lot at the special school I used to work at. They helped older kids who needed to visualise what they were doing 'now, next, after lunch, this afternoon' (i.e. first we are going to the playground picture of swingset, then we area going to the sensory area picture of beanbag. Now it is lunchtime picture of lunchbox with food set out, etc.). My own DS didn't need that level of input from the PEC cards. But they did help increase his vocabulary.

Group speech therapy was brilliant for DS. Between nursery's input and group speech therapy, I believe this was the making of our boy. It taught him how to 'share' talking with others, turn-taking, listening, responding, engaging- this is harder for people on the spectrum. What's important is learning about dialogue and conversation, the social aspect of speech and language. Unless you have a child who really struggles in a group setting and is stressed by this, group speech and language therapy can be very beneficial for neurotypical and ASD children with speech delay (when he is in nursery- around age 3 would be better).

At any rate, you're getting plugged into SALT and that is the right step to take. Speech and language delays are incredibly common, OP and more often, they are nothing at all to worry about. Your little one will be in the right hands. Best of luck!

My younger brother was basically non verbal, suspected autism, years of speech therapy as well as all the tantrums which come from not being able to express yourself. He's now 28 and a lawyer with a magic circle firm, not a hint of a speech issue and completely neurotypical.

It's difficult isn't it because there can be different reasons for speech delay.
I have 4 children and my second didn't speak at all for the first 3 years apart from grunting. The difference between her and my first in development was stark.
It was a really worrying time not helped by one speech therapist telling us she had brain damage! And the health visitor telling us there was no problem at all!
To cut a long story short, despite initially passing all hearing tests, she had massive glue ear and once she had grommets in and adenoids removed she came on leaps and bounds.
She's now 28 with a BA Hons and a Masters and always did very well academically. She did have to have speech therapy to help but the fact that we read for fun (and we're all big talkers) meant that she had picked up some good vocabulary and she progressed quickly.

It is a worry but my advice would be to assume that your child is hearing at least some of your conversation so to keep talking to them all the time. I really hope it's resolved for you quickly because I remember how incredibly stressful it was for us.

I have been where you are and can sympathise. The worst thing is really the not knowing, the fear that there may be no or little improvement.

My DS was speech delayed and also seemed worryingly in his own bubble. He did engage with people but I could see (although I ignored that as much as I could, talk about whistling in the dark) that he wasn't really getting it, a lot was going over his head. He was diagnosed with autism (HFA) and language processing disorder, which wasn't a surprise to me but I was still horribly frightened about what the future held for him. I knew he had ability - despite the language processing problem, he had still managed to learn the alphabet by his second birthday and was reading shortly after that - but ability in itself is not a guarantee of anything. It could be a splinter skill that he was very good at, but couldn't actually use it on any useful application. So I worried, I worried a LOT. It wasn't a pleasant time, and tbh I wish I had been able to worry less, but unfortunately nobody can really predict with any degree of accuracy how a child will develop.

Outcomes can be so variable. I think whatever pans out for your child, if you feel you've done your best for him within the parameters of your time, budget, etc, you've nothing to berate yourself with. It can be really hard and some schools are less helpful than others, so finding the best school for him really counts for a lot. My son's school were really proactive in seeking advice, therapies, additional funding, anything that was available was suggested. Some things worked well and others didn't, but I always felt that they were doing as much as they could to help him progress. I made sure he was always in a school with an assertive and positive attitude towards their pupils with SEN and I think this has paid off.

DS is twelve now, he is still quite shy and uncertain, but he is also kind, compassionate, humorous, empathic and generous. He has his struggles but with autism, that's par for the course unfortunately.

My eldest was flagged up and referred for a speech delay. We attended an assessment where we were told he was definitely behind and they'd be in touch. Six MONTHS later they rang up and said they were very sorry, but he'd slipped through the cracks, and urgently needed another assessment. At assessment number two, they said his development was completely normal and discharged him. He's had no signs of being neurodiverse, and has been in mainstream school since.

My middle boy was referred after his two year check and has been diagnosed with autism before his fourth birthday, though there were and are lots of other tells.

My youngest was noted as behind in speech at his two year check earlier this year, but ahead in other things. He's already ahead of his six year old brother (my middle boy) in understanding verbal instructions and understanding pretend games so I'm not overly concerned.

My DS is 2.4 also, OP, and is quite delayed in his speech. We pushed for a SALT referral last year before his 2nd birthday and only just had our assessment on Monday this week. They don't seem overly concerned. There doesn't appear to be other red flags and his understanding is good. We are also doing two languages - but I don't believe that causes a delay.

Have you written a list of the words/sounds he makes? My DS is saying about 50 words/sounds, and only about 25 of them are consistent.

Do you have any other concerns?

My youngest didn’t say anything until two, and didn’t really get going until he was closer to three. He’s now seven, is a total chatterbox, and his reading and maths skills are excellent.

Ds2 had a speech delay and wasn’t talking properly until he was about 4-5 onwards.

He does have autism and ongoing learning difficulties.

BUT, in terms of his speech he never shuts up now Very chatty and vocal. He’s 8 now. xx

My son had a language delay at the same age, it transpired caused by repeated ear infections and glue ear. After he had grommets fitted, it was like a switch had been flicked and his speech flooded through (in fact, too quickly so he ended up having speedy therapy for a stammer).

I hate bragging but in case it's helpful, he is a high performer academically and his speech delay was just a temporary blip.

Speech therapy not speedy therapy. It appears the rushing may be a family trait....

DS2 had few words even at nearly three and had a lot of intensive speech therapy before he started school, then weekly until the end of year 2 (he also developed a stammer).
He has a mild auditory processing disorder and few issues around social anxiety, but he's fine academically - CATS are usually in the 130's and he got into both the schools we wanted. Speech is good too now, but he was pretty incomprehensible until he was 7.