To ask if anyone else prefer eating their evening meal on a tray?

[FredSoftly]

I have friends who insist that every meal is eaten en famille at the table so everyone can "talk about their day." Then they complain that it's often tense or their teens are moody and uncommunicative.

When I suggest tea on a tray, they gasp in horror!

We often do this in front of the TV and it can make for a nice relaxed evening. We also manage to chat a lot without facing each other across the kitchen table on a nightly basis.

Am I common?

I don't find a tray goes with a knife and fork meal. I like them for a sandwich though.

@TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe

It's easier using a tray than just having a plate on your lap. Preferably one of those trays with a bean bag underneath.

We only use the table when the meal requires or deserves it. Some things are too messy to risk a tray with, other things are too classy. But eating every meal at a table smacks of unwoke, right-wing white privilege.

@TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe Hahaha As someone from a northern working class background with family members who are active in the Labour Party I have to disagree. It has always been more about keeping mess to one area rather than trailing food through the house. We couldn’t afford to get the carpets replaced if they were damaged.

My kids are way too messy to eat in the living room. And a have a cream rug, so no chance! I will occasionally eat off the coffee table if I want to eat alone in the evening. Family meals are always round the table tho, its anice chance to chat.

I've literally never eaten off a tray except on a plane.

Is this really a thing? Do people honestly own loads of trays for eating off? We only have 1 tray and it's for lego carrying plates, condiments etc to and from the table

Then again thinking about it I put a tray down on a table and eat ofc the plate! So no I never eat off a tray as it feels uncomfortable.

I hate eating off my lap, I'm way too messy for that. Even things like pizza, I'm balancing sauces on pillows and ugh. If we eat in the living room I'll kneel at the coffee table, but that gets uncomfortable pretty quickly! I prefer eating at the table and I'm trying to do it more. It also means dinner gets cleared up quicker as we're in the kitchen already!

I did always insist on eating at the table when my older DC were growing up, even the two years when we only had space for a fold out “butterfly table”. It’s more communal, you’re teaching the DC table manners, and the upright posture is better for digestion.

Now I have dodgy vertebrae and have adopted beanbag trays for bad days. DC3 is not quite so good on her table manners as a result but hey ho. I mean, she can use cutlery. She’s not swinging off the curtains or anything.

I wonder whether it’s manners or digestion that are seen as “right wing” concerns? I’m panicking now because I consider myself a good socialist.

Maybe I should teach them all to belch and wipe their mouths in their sleeves?

But eating every meal at a table smacks of unwoke, right-wing white privilege.

This is true. We eat at the table and only eat white food. Cheese, yoghurt, white bread. Pasta at a push even though it’s not totally white.

@occa

I've literally never eaten off a tray except on a plane.

Is this really a thing? Do people honestly own loads of trays for eating off? We only have 1 tray and it's for lego carrying plates, condiments etc to and from the table

Oh thanks @occa you’ve made me feel better by sounding so snooty.

Yes it’s a thing. Us guttersnipes do it when we’re not busy being unwoke and right wing.

Jeez @ShirleyPhallus bleach your pasta FFS.

I assumed the unwoke post was a joke!

@RickiTarr

Jeez *@ShirleyPhallus* bleach your pasta FFS.

Good point. If I don’t does it show how woke I am?

I know it's a lot to do with luck but my child is not a fussy eater at all and I think a lot of that is due to home cooked meals eaten together with no distraction and us rolemodelling

Ah bless you with your home cooked meals and role modelling

You need to eat multicoloured pasta off a tray hun. Without cutlery. I’ve got some green pasta here you can have.

But eating every meal at a table smacks of unwoke, right-wing white privilege.

What?!

I would love for us to eat at a table (which only happens at Christmas). I even moved a table into the lounge in the hope that this might happen. But no.
It's not really the piece of furniture that is the issue, but DH's insistence on the TV being on and shushing everyone. So teen DD gets her phone out. Then DH complains that DD never tells him anything.

Eat both on the floor (usually in front of the TV) at the table. Prefer table on my own or with other adults and floor with DC as it is cultural and what I grew up doing. As a teen mostly at the table, occasionally on the floor. Was never sullen or bored and always excited to share the day with my parents

We don't really have a choice in the matter. All we have downstairs is a small kitchen and living room - definitely nowhere to put a table to sit at. To be honest, you can still talk to each other with plates on knees anyway. Some of our best conversations are at dinner time. I always sat at the table when growing up and I didn't like it. It felt too formal.

Yes it’s a thing. Us guttersnipes do it when we’re not busy being unwoke and right wing

I have a Union Jack tray - freebie from Warburton's (or some other non artisan bread makers) during the 2012 Olympics.

I grew up in a family where we ate all our weekday meals in front of the TV, separately, as we came in from school/ work. Weekends we would often eat a roast or other meal together at the table (we only had one room downstairs apart from the small kitchen). This was fine by me. I don't feel I missed out. We still chatted a lot while eating as people were in and out, or also watching TV - it was a small house. And in fact the reason my mum wanted to eat from a tray in front of the TV is that was where we all were when she came back from work at about 6, and she wanted to be with us.
However, in my own house we eat almost all meals at the table, in the separate dining room, either as a family or just the children. The exception is if we are eating later than the children, DH and I might eat in front of the TV with plates on laps. And the main reason for that is I don't want the kids eating in our nice front room and spilling bits everywhere. We didn't have a nice front room as a child so that wasn't a thing.
I mean, when it comes down to it, it's a lot easier to eat off a table isn't it? You have more space, you can put condiments on the table, you can put dishes of food on the table and help yourself (potatoes, salad etc), if you spill anything it is easier to clear up...

We eat off plates on trays. We have special round trays for that purpose and everyone has there own one this happened when I lived with my parents too, mainly because the dining table was always covered with Dad's bookwork!
We always have something we watch with dinner normally a series we're working through which we will talk about afterwards.

*their can't believe I did that!

OP I think this thread might have strayed from your intentions!

In spite of not being white (!!!) we were raised to eat every meal at the table, as a family.

It was horrible. Everyone has a life, stuff going on in their heads. Dad would be angry after work, understandably. Mum would be angry after a day of being bored as SAHM - not a criticism, she just found it boring. My sister hated school. No matter how polite the chat, you know when people are processing a shit day.

As teens we begged to stop the daily family meals. It made life easier for all of us. I think my parents had a fixed idea that families "should" do this.

@OldRailer

I assumed the unwoke post was a joke!

I really hope so. It's hard to tell.

Titania, was that you?

Pre-lockdown we ate most of our evening meals at the table as it's about the only time I can get the kids and I in the same room to chat but since the table has become a work space for me and one of my dc, it's too much hassle to clear it all every evening so it gets cleared on a friday after work/school and we eat at it fri/sat/sun evenings but the rest is usually on trays in the living room.

I was brought up that evening meals were always at the table, apart form when we got to eat sausage/chicken and chips in a basket in front of the tv on a saturday night! I'm not so strict but I do like some meals at the table as I do think it is more conducive to conversation.

I am far too messy and clumsy to risk eating off a tray or my lap!