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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this mother and father should be disgusted with themselves?

77 replies

Plinkyplonk · 02/11/2007 22:43

I've been out to dd's first show tonight and I am so very very proud of her, but, one thing has marred it.

A young couple (who's daughter was dancing) brought their son with them, I would say he was no older than 5.

As soon as they took their seats he laid down and went to sleep, next thing, he was projectile vomiting over the seats at the back of him and the floor, his mum cleaned him up and he was sat with his eyes rolling into the back of his head, face bright red and sweat dripping down his face. His father sat and did nothing, then, they gave him 2 bottles of cola. When someone mentioned he should be at home she stated very loudly "we've paid for the tickets and we are staying'.

He fell asleep again (very very fifully) and once again threw up for the second time over a poor elderly lady sat at the back of him and then soiled himself, only at this point (10 minutes from the end) was he taken out.

NOT ONCE did his mother apologise, though her dad did say 'sorry, he has been like this since last night' WTF? I am sooooooooooo pissed off, a very special night was marred by the fact we had to sit with a sickly smell lingering all night

I sincerely hope she is not going to be there tomorrow night with the poor little mite, otherwise I may have to say something.

OP posts:
TINSELTOESmumofDJ · 04/11/2007 22:49

would anyone like a confession

kindersurprise · 04/11/2007 22:51

Ok, I agree that they might have thought he was feeling better, but imo there is no excuse for not taking him home when he vomited the first time.

Even at the risk of disappointing DD, there is no way I would stay somewhere with a sick child. How distressing for the child, not to mention the people sitting around about him.

TINSELTOESmumofDJ · 04/11/2007 22:53

have changed my mind re confession night all x x x

Rhubarb · 04/11/2007 22:53

One car. How would you do that then? Who takes your dd home?

If you are not in that situation there is no way you can say how you would react. I've certainly done things with my kids that now make me cringe. We weren't there with these poor parents, yet we feel qualified to judge them.

coppertop · 04/11/2007 22:54
Rhubarb · 04/11/2007 22:54

Tinsel, I could probably beat your confessions anyday.

TINSELTOESmumofDJ · 04/11/2007 22:56

No this is BAD hence the holding it back and I mean BAD (well funny bad iykwim) x x

mamazon · 04/11/2007 22:56

if it was a single parent i would say that maybe they couldnt find a sitter, hadn't realised just how ill poor child wouild be and didnt want to miss other childs perfprmance.

but given there was 2 of them and that there is another show tomorrow i would have hoped any right thinking parents would have stayed at home with ill child whilst other watched and then swopped for the second show

coppertop · 04/11/2007 22:57

Agree again, Rhubarb.

What if they had to get the bus back? Ours are notoriously useless. By the time you'd waited at the bus stop for half an hour (with sick child) you might as well have stayed to watch the show.

Rhubarb · 04/11/2007 22:59

If you had been organised enough to get tickets for both shows yes. But I'm guessing that they had tickets for Friday, the little one was ill on the Thurs and Sat would have been fully booked.

I've been guilty of taking my kids to places when they've been ill because I've not realised just how ill they've been. And I would probably have jumped down peoples throats if they had dared to criticise me - as a mum she probably felt bad enough without strangers pointing it out too. Sounds like a very very humiliating experience for them.

If they really didn't care about their kids, they wouldn't have gone to the effort of buying tickets to see their dd perform in the first place.

expatinscotland · 04/11/2007 23:03

Maybe the kid had some contagious bug and those elderly people around him have health issues and could become very ill catching his bug.

Maybe there could have been someone pregnant or a child with health issues who could also be made very ill catching his bug.

Maybe when you have more than one child you realise that sometimes shit happens and even though you both wanted to see the performance, baby brother or sister was ill so one of the parents had to stay home. This happens in life. It's full of disappointments and shit that just crops up.

So maybe having a little concern for others in society over what your own personal needs are and staying home with your ill child whilst only one parent goes and videotapes the performance perhaps is a better option.

I mean, a little consideration for the health, enjoyment and well-being of others, including your poor, ill child who's feeling awfully.

What a sacrifice, eh?

expatinscotland · 04/11/2007 23:04

but Rhu, wouldn't it have been obvious to them he was still ill the first time he hurled everywhere?

isn't that a clue?

kindersurprise · 04/11/2007 23:10

Absolutely agree with expat.

I had a mum come to a class this week with her 2 yo twins. When she left she mentioned that her DD was a bit grumpy as she had thrown up the day before and again that morning. One of the other mums has a baby of 12 weeks and would not be happy if she were to catch a tummy bug. As it was, I was ill on Thursday so obviously it was a virus. I feel that if your child has been throwing up then you have to stay at home.

Rhubarb · 04/11/2007 23:12

So he hurls first time, are they supposed to just go home and leave dd there? We don't know how far they had travelled. But I think it's fair to say that if they had know he would hurl all over everyone, they would not have taken him.

We can't know why they took him or what went on, which is why we shouldn't judge.

Shit does happen. I feel sorry for them.

TotalChaos · 04/11/2007 23:22

presuming they came by car, for one of the parents to take the boy out so he could get some air/or possibly sit in the car and be ill in privacy.

LyraSilverSparklers · 04/11/2007 23:53

DP and I took DS1 to a 'new parents' meeting at his new school when he had a very bad case of chicken pox. he was well past the contagious stage and he'd seemed to be back to his usual self but of course as soon as we got to the meeting he suffered a bit of a relapse and would have seemed really ill to the other parents there. We didn't know whether to leave or stay because it was so unexpected and he'd been getting better, but in the end decided to stay because we knew he wasn't contagious and the meeting would have been over soon anyway.
These young parents would have been in a similar quandary but they should have taken their DS home or at least out of the room the moment he puked everywhere. Someone organising the performance could have found somewhere quiet and private for them to wait till the performance was over.

madamez · 05/11/2007 00:35

You know, the argument about the possible passing on of infection to fragile bystanders isn't much cop really. Because most infectious diseases are at their most infectious before any symptoms show up, so people with compromised immune systems have to take their own precautions according to their risk status before mixing with anyone.
Sounds like these people made a bad judgement call with good intentions (they wanted to see their DD dance, she wanted them to be there and to bring her brother, and the little boy was quite probably giving the impression of being much better in the hour or two before they set off). SHit happens, basically (and indeed literally in this case).

expatinscotland · 05/11/2007 01:13

then one person goes home and the other person stays and takes a taxi or bus home with the daughter.

or how aoubt stay home in the first place? your kid's ill, after all.

and okay, if you don't buy passing on a vomitting bug to others, how about their enjoyment of the experience then?

is it really enjoyable to be hurled on by some stranger's kid when they hung around after hte first time the poor mite ralphed all over the place?

wtf?

f'ing leave if it's so obvious your poor kid's ill!

one parent goes out to the car, goes home, goes to the front desk or usher and asks for a private place to sit, etc.

idlingabout · 05/11/2007 09:27

Totally agree with expat. Of course, there may have been perfectly aceptable reasons for the parents to bring the ill child originally but once the child had been sick then one of the parents should have removed him IMMEDIATELY. They showed zero consideration for other people. What about the poor person over whom the child was sick? He/she had every right to expect to see the performance without the risk of being vomitted on. They could have been wearing an expensive suit ( having come straight from work) - did these people offer to pay the dry cleaning bill? Yes lots of us make mistakes and no-one likes their parenting being called into question but the objectionable thing here is those parents'total lack of social responsibility.

Original poster
Plinkyplonk · 05/11/2007 11:33

I understand what you are all saying, BUT, they were both there again on the Saturday night, sat near the toilets so they could run when he started being sick AGAIN (which he was)

Luckily I was sat no where near them for that performance.

OP posts:
Original poster
Plinkyplonk · 05/11/2007 11:35

Oh and we since found out that yes they had one car, but they had come with friends and one of them had taken the father and son home leaving the mother to collect her dd.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 05/11/2007 11:40

Poor little boy

Dropdeadfred · 05/11/2007 11:43

what did they say to the people he vomited on?

VictorianSqualor · 05/11/2007 11:55

I have taken DS somewhere a few days after a bug had started, I thought he was better and DD desperately wanted to go, he actually vomited once we were out, and I cleaned him up, then he went back to sleep, he was 2 and in his buggy so not sick on or near anyone else, but I knew there was only 15 minutes left til I could grab DD and take them both home, so took DS to the side (which I think at the least these aprents should have done) away from anyone else, and prayed that he wouldn't be ill again.

contentiouscat · 05/11/2007 11:58

I suspect they made a bad call regarding one child because they were trying to support another, like we all do occasionally. The Ideal situation would have been for one to stay at home with him but who knows why they didnt do it that way.

Poor boy being so ill in public though. I wouldnt necessarily feed my child coke for dehydration, although it is better than nothing, for some reason I thought it had caffene in it and that dehydrated you?

Often use warm coke to settle upset stomachs though - was recommended to me by a friend who was ill while on holiday in Kenya.

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