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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think babies wearing earings is totally unacceptable

166 replies

PixieAndDixie · 02/11/2007 18:34

Took kids to indoor playcentre today and my DS 2 was playing with a baby boy that wasn't even walking just doing that standing up holding on to things I am guessing about 10 months old. Anyway he had an earing in each ear - one was a stud the other a hoop WTF?? A hoop for obvious reasons is unacceptable right?

I feel FURIOUS with parents that get their babies ears peirced, I mean why would you want to??

OP posts:
notnowbernard · 02/11/2007 21:25

No rage intended there. was simply trying to point out that we were talking about piercing of ears, as opposed to the systematic abuse of a child.

naughtynoonoo · 02/11/2007 21:29

Why why why?? And when the child has a great big strangling necklace around their neck as well. WHY?? Saw this in our local indoor playcentre a while back and couldn't help but stare - don't understand it at all. PS is it still to early for the chavs to walk this way!?

FireworksInMyLuckyUnderpants · 02/11/2007 21:29

i dont think anybody has refered to it as systematic child abuse NNB, are you saying inflicting pain and possible risk of infection on a child is reasonable? of course it is not systematic child abuse but it is a from of cruelty to an extent

purpleflower · 02/11/2007 21:48

My SIL had her ears pierced by the midwife at a couple of days old. My DS was bought a gold bracelet and necklace when he was born. Does that make my family Chavs? They look english but they aren't. If you passed them in the sreet and didn't hear them speak you would judge them. It's their culture.

notnowbernard · 02/11/2007 21:56

Of course I don't think it's "reasonable" to inflict pain on a child. What a bizarre statement!

I don't think it's "reasonable" to feed a child shite from McDonalds, but I don't consider said child to be suffering cruelty at hands of parents.

FireworksInMyLuckyUnderpants · 02/11/2007 22:03

it wasnt a 'statement' NNB, it was a question, no need to over react.

FireworksInMyLuckyUnderpants · 02/11/2007 22:05

and feeding a child macdonalds is hardly the same as putting it through the pain of having its ears pierced

notnowbernard · 02/11/2007 22:06

Fireworks - apologies, you did ask me a question . Though I'm really not over-reacting, honestly!

notnowbernard · 02/11/2007 22:08

I would consider tht feeding a child McDonalds could very possibly have long term consequences to health.

theUrbanDryad · 02/11/2007 22:20

i've been on threads like this before and they always kick off.

just gonna add my little bit anyway though....

i don't know what other people call a situation where you cause a helpless baby pain for no reason at all. i call it cruelty. i don't think it matters whether you're white British and live on the worst sink estate in Britain, Hispanic, Indian, whatever. causing a child pain for no reason is cruel. end of. to say that piercing a child is ok for "cultural reasons" is a cop out. that's basically the same as saying, "Well, all the other kids get caused pain for no reason, and I was caused pain for no reason, and, well, it's just normal." it might be normal, it might be traditional, but it doesn't make it right. i think in a lot of these cases, mothers pierce their beautiful new babies just "because" and IMO there needs to be a radical overhaul of thinking to make causing a baby pain for no reason not ok.

but, as i say, this will kick off. i guarantee it. meh.

theUrbanDryad · 02/11/2007 22:23

actually, i'm now genuinely curious - does anyone know whether there are genuine beliefs behind piercing a baby? it's difficult to think of an example without sounding ignorant (which i am, in this case) but, say, is there a culture which believes that piercing a young child would help it to lead a happier life?

i'm wondering why the "cultural" card always gets played here...

LittleBella · 02/11/2007 22:25

Not sure what you mean by unacceptable.

I can't stand this snobby thing that it's all right for Asians because their culture is good, but bad for white working class people because their culture is bad. Talk about reverse racism. Either it's good or bad.

I don't care about it. I'm not going to call the NSPCC because I see a kid with pierced ears.

notnowbernard · 02/11/2007 22:28

I don't know if this thread has 'kicked off' yet or not... I haven't much experience of being on controversial(?) threads.

And I'm not sure if the Chavs have "walked this way yet"...

theUrbanDryad · 02/11/2007 22:34

LittleBella puts it so much more eloquently than me!!

yes, it does seem like it's ok for Asian/Hispanic/Romany parents to pierce their babies' ears, but it's not ok for a young white mother with a Romford face lift to pierce her babies' ears. and i do genuinely wonder why that is.

bluejelly · 02/11/2007 22:34

90% of the girls in my dd's class have their ears pierced, I really couldn't give a dam. It's mostly a cultural thing anywhere where we live-- all greek/turkish/indian/black kids get it done. Really not a big deal if you ask me

christywhisty · 02/11/2007 22:35

I come from a culture (my dad was greek cypriot)where babies have their ears pierced and I was bought earrings for my christening. However my mum is welsh and refused point blank to have our ears pierced until we were old enough to make the decision ourselves. I was 13 and I think my sisters may have been 11 or 12.

LittleBella · 02/11/2007 22:35

UD - it's class hatred, that's what it is.

bluejelly · 02/11/2007 22:37

and it's not systematic child abuse. Forcing children to work in Indian factories (like GAP was found to be earlier this week) it systematic child abuse. I'd save your rage and judgement for multinational companies who exploit children, far far worse!

notnowbernard · 02/11/2007 22:37

I'd like to clarify my personal opinion on this matter though.

I don't think pierced ears on a baby/child is aesthetically pleasing, whatever its cultural background is.

It's not something I'd consider for my own children. It is unnecessary pain.

But it doesn't make me feel "fury" to see it. Fury is a very strong emotion. I also don't equate it with child abuse (in the sense that most people understand it). I would feel furious if I saw a young child not apprpriately secured in a moving vehicle. I would feel fury if I saw a child being screamed at or physically hurt. I could go on...

I do feel this is a 'class issue' for some people, highlighted by the Chav comments

theUrbanDryad · 02/11/2007 22:37

cristy and bluejelly - i accept that it's "cultural", but do you know what that actually means? i mean, what is the reasoning behind it, if there is one?

theUrbanDryad · 02/11/2007 22:40

it doesn't make me feel furious either.

i just wonder why.

LittleBella · 02/11/2007 22:44

It's just habit.

That's what culture is, no?

bluejelly · 02/11/2007 22:45

I think it's just something to differentiate boy babies from girl babies to be honest. People in the UK decorate their babies in all sorts of strange ways -- designer clothes, hats with ears on them, buggies that cost the price of a small car.

Although ear piercing may hurt a bit, it's not a huge pain and once it's done it's done. I really couldn't care less who has and who hasn't done it.

theUrbanDryad · 02/11/2007 22:51

bluejelly - that's really interesting. you make a very valid point about people lavishing all sorts of strange things on their babies. i honestly hadn't thought of it that way.

theUrbanDryad · 02/11/2007 22:54

hats with ears on them make me go "Huh?" too. i mean, it's a baby human! why do you want to dress a baby up as a small bear?

i really struggled to find a winter jacket for ds without ears on them. he had a snowsuit when he was born that was blue and fluffy and had ears on the hood. i'm struggling to think of an animal that has blue fur and teddy bear ears.

unless it was the lesser spotted BabyUrban...

(now, if you could pierce the ears on the hoods of fluffy snowsuits, that'd be cool! )