to think smacking an 18 mth old

[idontcarewhoreadsthis]

for peeing on you when changing his nappy is well out of order?

Shocked . He could be setting your child up for a lifetime of issues.

Yes I do see what you mean. Stress is a big factor.

I have been weed on, pooed on and thrown up on. Tell me a parent who hasn't.

These aren't things which are naughty at that age.

So what happens now ?

this is a " agree with me or die in hell" thread. with such an evocative atitle - if someone beats shit out of a baby report them.

YANBU, you need to have stern words with your H, so that he know how inappropriate it is to smack a child still in nappies because he peed on him
Must have been such a shock for you to see that

she didnt say he "beat the shit out of the baby"..
she said he just smacked him i think.

not that im agreeing with what he did.

OMFG, how hard? TO be honest, if it MY H I would ring the police if he smacked him hard at that age, there isn't an excuse in the whole world for it, sorry. He needs a wake up call before a slap turns into more IMHO.

Message withdrawn

of course it's wrong but ..

why have you felt the need to namechange, esp given the name you have changed to..

Yes its wrong and you both need to talk this through
As for those who are saying phone the police, setting up for lifetime issues etc are just a tad over the top.
As parents we all lose it sometimes not that im condoning the reaction in this instance but sometimes you would think that there are the ever elusive "perfect" parents on this site

Don't be a ####.

GOD DAMN BLOODY ####### NET NANNY!

So sorry I read that as you wanting to smack an 18 month old, ISWYM now.

Blimey. This is child cruelty. Does he smack your son on other occasions? He may find parenting stressful and as a one-off you can be more understanding...but I would not tolerate it, ever.

OMG I am sorry idcwrt but I think that would be the end of my marriage if my DH did this. You are right to be devestated and angry. Did he do in front of you

Well, if someone else smacked your child you would call the police - why does being the childs dad give him a right to smack? I am just saying it's what I would do... no one, not even the pope would smack my child - sorry.

sounds like your DH needs to be pulled up about this pretty damn quick

weeing on you when you change their nappy is not naughty !! they don;t have enough bladder control to wait and pee over you, they just do

you have to convey to him how blatantly out of order and cruel and pointless this is

if my H was doing this, i would wonder what else he was doing, in terms of discipline and what he perceived as naughty.. if he didn;t get why it was wrong, it would be a deal breaker for me

Actually, being the child's dad does give him a legal right to smack, Quootie. So likelihood that the police would be interested is slim.

Child abuse is linked to unrealistic expectations of a child's understanding and development.

I agree that this is something that needs to be discussed as a matter of urgency, but as calmly as possible, given your natural shock at what has happened.

This is one incident that is definitely a disproportionate and innapropriate reaction to what is normal behaviour for a child of 18 months. Have there been any others?

Much depends on how your dh feels about what he did. Does he realise how wrong it was, or does he feel his response is justified?

If he just lost it because of tiredness, stress etc and now feels absolutely gutted and mortified, then you have a starting point to deal with the situation and develop some coping strategies.

If, however, he thinks his behaviour is reasonable/acceptable, then you have a much bigger problem and need to get some professional advice. This kind of behaviour can escalate, and usually gets worse as the child gets older.

YANBU, but need to work out where you go from here.

I agree with 3littlesparklers.

Many of us have done things that have horrified us on the spur of the moment, and used it as a signal that all is not well.

Talk to your husband once all has calmed down.

I would be worried if he is on a short fuse and smacking your baby often.

Maybe you should smack him when he fails to put the toilet seat down?

Seriously though, has he done something like this before? Is he stressed? Are there deeper issues and how do you feel about smacking?