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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have told ds he can't go trick or treating?

68 replies

wannaBe · 30/10/2007 17:24

he asked this morning. A friend is taking her dd and some others tomorrow. And I've said no.

It's glorified begging imo and I really don't get this huge halloween histeria that seems to have erupted over the past few years.

OP posts:

FrightOwl · 30/10/2007 19:11

no spottyshoes, done in the right way it is not begging. as i said, we go where we know we are welcome or where we see pumpkins. my children would never ask for money, its a little bit of fun.

trick or treating is not begging, although inevitably some folks will take the piss. pity they should spoil it for others. (ie the little kids).

IlanaK · 30/10/2007 19:11

We have managed to escape it this year by hosting a halloween party tomorow instead, but I am not against it as such. It depends where you do it as well. We went the last two years and went to an area away from where we live which is mostly populated by Americans. As has been mentioned on here, they go all out and really welcome hoardes of trick or treaters. We only knocked on doors that were obviously decorated. Some houses had actually set up haunted house type areas near their door and welcomed us in to try them out. Many of the doors were answered by maids (very wealthy area) so the owners probably weren't bothered by it all.

I grew up in the US so remember doing it as a child. But I don't really see how trick or treating is any different than the whole penny for the guy thing that was popular until recently.

spottyshoes · 30/10/2007 19:16

Hiya frightowl, Sorry I didnt mean any of that to be aimed at you, I was replying to OP. We also go to pre-arranged houses - it's just the knocking on random doors that I object to (that and the teenagers if you couldnt already guess )

Thanks stressteddy, will definately do that.
Bless those little girls!

fawkeoff · 30/10/2007 19:18

YANBU it is glorified begging, and to be honest you dont know whos door your knocking on.i am taking DC to see family because DD is upset i wont take her trick or treating and she wants to show off her costume....then we are going to have a little party thing at home.

FrightOwl · 30/10/2007 19:19

it is irritating in a way. i am the worst person in the world for throwing a fit at having my door knocked. but since i had dd i think i am a little more tolerant..i grit my teeth, think "its only one night a year" and answer with a grimace smile. then i give the little ones some haribo sweets...if they are lucky i may even buy some fruit shoots this year

FrightOwl · 30/10/2007 19:20

agree with random doors and teenagers totally.

MALO · 30/10/2007 19:24

eleusis:

Trick or treating IS begging imo. Yes kids dress up etc etc but why do they knock on doors? They knock on doors to be handed the sweets etc they expect. My dh often threatens to answer the door and reply 'Trick' to their 'Trick or Treat' question....and I doubt very much that any of the kids on our doorstep would know what to say or how to react.

What bugs me is that I'll hear the kids say 'they're in, their lights are on'....it is an invasion of privacy even if it is only on my doorstep.

StrawberryMartini · 30/10/2007 19:26

I think the whole thing is ludicrous. How do you explain to a child that it's ok to knock on a stranger's door and ask for sweets one night of the year but not for the rest?

All I get is teenagers. Had a couple already today. Shut the door on them. I'm on my own in the evenings and feel very threatened.

Why should I give total strangers sweets for disturbing my evening?

I won't be opening my door full stop.

stripeymama · 30/10/2007 19:27

My little brothers (then about 11 and 8) once went out sort of reverse trick or treating - they took their juggling balls and a bag of sweets and offered people a trick or a treat...

I don't answer the door to trick or treaters. Bah humbug. (Bah pumpkin? )

southeastastra · 30/10/2007 19:28

begging? for gawds sake, you miserable gits

MALO · 30/10/2007 19:30

miserable gits? Err nope!

Begging.....YES DEFINITELY.

FrightOwl · 30/10/2007 19:33

does noone allow their children to write a letter to santa?

is that not begging too? "i would like, this, this, this and this".

twinsetandpearls · 30/10/2007 19:33

"How do you explain to a child that it's ok to knock on a stranger's door and ask for sweets one night of the year but not for the rest?"

The same way that I explain that on her birthday all her friends come around and give her presents but it won;t be happening at any other time.

The same way I say that on a Friday you can have a pacaket of sweets but forget it for the rest of the week.

She only goes to a few doors on our road to families participating.

I just think it adds to the community atmosphere on our road, at Christmas she dresses up and with her friends gives out mince pies to our neighbours, new years eve have a party together up the road.

MALO · 30/10/2007 19:41

Yes I allow my dds to write letters to Santa but that is hardly begging!!!!

C'mon....most kids like to write to Santa to ask him to bring this/that but you cannot compare that to kids gathering on someone's front doorstep during a dark evening.....etc etc and if that door isn't answered they come back and try again...

ScaryScienceT · 30/10/2007 19:41

You can also to TorT where your children give sweets to the houses they visit.

FrightOwl · 30/10/2007 20:01

why not compare it? is it not teaching them the same thing? ask for something that is given to you for free (ie begging)?

as far as they are concerned anyway

FrightOwl · 30/10/2007 20:05

and i do disagree btw with the relentless banging on the door. but halloween should be for little kids, and little kids are supervised.

StrawberryMartini · 30/10/2007 20:09

But how do I know if it's going to be a cute little kid with its parents or a couple of thugs? Sorry not willing to take the chance.

twinsetandpearls · 30/10/2007 20:15

I am not saying that the thugs don't appear but just that it need not be like that, particulalry if your local community take control.

I am surrounded by little thugs, as I said I know because I teach them and I know where they live and many of them are withing walking distance of my house and most of them know which house is mine.

I will get teenagers at my door tomorrow but have never had any problems. But will admit that is because they know I know who they are but it is also because on halloween parents are visible and anyone causing trouble would not last long.

twinsetandpearls · 30/10/2007 20:16

Britex yes we celebrate bonfire night, we go to a local display and then one if us lays on a buffet and mulled wine etc.

pucca · 30/10/2007 20:23

Oh FGS! its a bit of fun, i used to love going out trick or treating when i was a kid, my dd loves going out, and also love answering the door to all the kids.

People will be saying the same about Christmas soon.

fireflyfairy2 · 30/10/2007 20:26

fgs. I doubt very much that when I was young, this much thought went into one night a year.. I am sure my neighbours didn't grimace or hate the fact that all the wee ones dressed up & knocked on their door..

In fact, some even took photos of us!

Anyway, a few years ago I was at my mum's house on halloween night & a paif of young 'uns knocked mam's door... I opened it & all I heard was

"Cora, I am telling mammy on you!!!! She told you not to knock on old ladies' doors... & that woman in there has a lot of babies...she must be 100" My mam had 8 kids... she was 54 at the time

WinkyWinkola · 30/10/2007 20:32

Giving out a few sweeties never hurt anyone.

The kids round our way make a real effort with their costumes and I think it's sweet.

Mischief night was more of a problem when I was a kid - that's the night before Hallowe'en but it seems to have died out now.. .. . ..

FrightOwl · 30/10/2007 20:33

bet that pleased her

Original poster

wannaBe · 30/10/2007 21:03

I remember seeing an artacle on gmtv about mischief night. One of their lot went to liverpool and talked to a few lads (between 13/16 yo) and asked what they were planning to do and they said, casual as you like, "oh, throwing bricks, breaking windows, putting fireworks through letterboxes that sort of thing" in the same way as I might say "oh going to the shops, coming home for a cup of tea ..."

OP posts:

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