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Original poster

To tell 9 year old elf on the shelf not real

29 replies

SukiRose · 26/12/2020 10:26

Ds age 9 got some money for Xmas and wants to use it to buy an elf on the shelf. We haven't got one and tbh I didn't want to start the tradition. I've just to say to him that now it's after Xmas it won't move around etc but he is completely convinced it is magical and will continue to move around, or whatever it is they do, throughout the whole year!

He has got himself very upset about it as I'm trying to encourage him to spend his money on something else and I'm not sure what to do. Should I let him buy it but then he will be really disappointed that it does nothing, then I'll feel really bad and probably end up moving the thing around the whole bloody year! Or should I tell him the truth that parents move them and they're not magic?

Don't want to ruin the magic but equally don't want to start a whole thing! Also it's £21(!) - he got £35 in total so a big chunk of it.

OP posts:
Terracottasaur · 26/12/2020 10:28

At 9 I think he’s old enough to be told it’s not real, unless that’s going to open a can of worms about Father Christmas too? It would be a shame for him to waste his money on something so stupid. Maybe try again to help him understand it won’t work now that Christmas is over?

dementedpixie · 26/12/2020 10:28

Can you direct him to a cheaper one?

RedHelenB · 26/12/2020 10:29

You can buy elves on the shelf in poundland and places. Are you sure he really thinks they're magic, 9 seems a bit old for this?

WorraLiberty · 26/12/2020 10:29

Just tell him and remind him not to spoil the magic for others.

Even if he does, kids hear "The Elf isn't real" and "Santa isn't real" all the time but they manage to still believe.

modgepodge · 26/12/2020 10:29

I think this is an easy one. No one else has an elf all year, so you tell him it’s going to be really dull (aren’t they not allowed to touch them?) for the next 11 months. If he still wants one in November you can talk about it then. If he persists, let him buy it and it will be a lesson in wasting money. Definitely don’t get in to moving it all year. By next year at 10 I think you can break it to him gently that it’s adults moving it...

WorraLiberty · 26/12/2020 10:29

And yes, they sell them in £1 shops.

dementedpixie · 26/12/2020 10:30

Or just tell him elf on the shelf is done by parents.

inappropriateraspberry · 26/12/2020 10:31

First off, you can find official ones cheaper than £21, or get a knock off one from eBay for £3-4.
Second, if he really wants it, let him get one and he'll learn when it doesn't move - because, realistically, you're not going to move it every night if the year are you?
You could keep him for a couple of days, then he could 'leave' with a letter explaining that now he's met your son he has to go back the North Pole and will see him next year.
Or you could tell him that the real elves can't be bought and that those in the shops are just toy ones. If he still really wants one come next year, get one yourself to just 'appear' on 1st Dec. I think that is more magical then him buying his own!

notacooldad · 26/12/2020 10:32

At 9 I would ha e thought hed already known!!
I would have told him ages ago and had fun with him co.ung up with ideas between you about what elf would get up to.

2020out · 26/12/2020 10:32

I reckon that he knows and will be setting up his own elf scenes every day to convince you that it's real Grin

Glitteryone · 26/12/2020 10:34

Well #1 he won’t be able to touch it (as it will lose his magic)

#2 they return to the North Pole on the night of Christmas Eve / Christmas morning and dont return until next December so it would be a waste of money

Why not get him a cheaper one next year? It doesn’t have to do big elaborate stunts if you don’t want it to, you could just write a note from it saying that he’s there to watch his behaviour over the month of December, etc & don’t move him?

TheListeners · 26/12/2020 10:35

So elf on the shelf should disappear on Christmas day - according to my 8 year old daughter. They reappear next December. Otherwise they're not the magical sort. Would he buy that?

Our first and hopefully last year of elf on the shelf because I'm hoping by next year she'll have stopped believing.

AnnaMagnani · 26/12/2020 10:36

A firm no, Elf on the Shelf is for December only.

He's still caught up in Christmas excitement and isn't getting that it ends ASAP.

And possibly start talking about when the decorations are coming down.

zigaziga · 26/12/2020 10:38

I don’t think it’s about the money is it? So not sure why people are pointing out you can buy cheap ones.

He wants an elf because he thinks it will move around all year so there are two outcomes:
1 The OP has to move the Elf around ALL YEAR
2 OP doesn’t and his elf doesn’t move and he cries and cries

I think you do need to have a proper chat with him, whether he wants to hear it or not.

AlternativePerspective · 26/12/2020 10:38

I don’t consider the elf on the shelf to be magical and would have no issue with very definitively telling a child that it wasn’t. Elf on the shelf is just a marketing ploy so I equally wouldn’t be making my kids promise they wouldn’t spoil the magic for others.

FC is another matter but elf on the shelf absolutely not.

I would tell him in no uncertain terms that elf on the shelf isn’t real, and was only actually invented about ten years ago.

They’re creepy as fuck at any rate, and quite why anyone would want to put themselves through the chore of having one is beyond me.

Original poster
SukiRose · 26/12/2020 10:40

He really does believe it! No question at all about whether Santa real etc. I feel bad as friends of his have them so I think he feels left out. His friend told him they move all year round🙄 he's got his heart set on the expensive one as it comes with a cd or something as well

OP posts:
MistletoeandGin · 26/12/2020 10:42

I’d tell him it’s not real.

dementedpixie · 26/12/2020 10:44

It only started in the UK in 2013 and I'm quite glad as my kids are a bit older. Why not show him online about the origins of it. Think there's a book too

notacooldad · 26/12/2020 10:45

Cant you say they have sold out and then tell him the truth about elfs being a bit of fun and made up.

AlternativePerspective · 26/12/2020 10:45

If his friend’s one moves around all year then his parents really are mugs. Grin

I really would tell him. Elf on the shelf wasn’t a thing when mine was little thank God, but even if it had been I wouldn’t have indulged it.

I really would just tell him the truth.

Original poster
SukiRose · 26/12/2020 10:52

Thank you for all your advice. I think I'm just going to tell him the truth and hope it doesn't bring up questions about Santa. Although at 9 he's bound to find out sooner or later anyway. It just brings him so much joy I wanted to keep that alive as long as poss!

OP posts:
Ilovenewyear · 26/12/2020 10:59

I’d say they don’t move after December, his friend has it wrong.
I wouldn’t be keen on him spending £21 either! Ours are from the pound shop and don’t move after Christmas Day.

JinglePies · 26/12/2020 10:59

Awful things. Tell him it’s not real.

Glitterblue · 26/12/2020 11:53

We got our first one from the Card Factory when DD was 3 or 4, and other Poundland/ Tesco ones have joined it over the years. She loves the card factory one and one year wrote to Santa asking if she could stay on. The elf came back with her Christmas Eve box and a note saying that Santa had said she could live here all year, but that she loses her magic from Christmas Eve until late November when she leaves to go to the North Pole to get ready for coming for December. She spends the year sitting on top of DD's wardrobe then she just disappears at the end of November and returns with the others on 1st December.

Could you perhaps tell DS that he should wait and see what happens next December, and if he still seems to believe in the magic, you could get one from Tesco for about £3 and it could arrive on 1st Dec. It seems a lot of money for him to buy a proper elf on the shelf one himself.

mooncakes · 26/12/2020 11:56

My 6 year old asked for one this year as well - I just explained that they’re toys that the parents move around for fun, but that I don’t have time for it.

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