Actually disgusted with myself

[Jumpingjosephene21]

I'm so disgusted with how fat I've let myself get during lockdown. I drink too much, I'm sat at a desk all day and I eat crap. I've always struggled with my weight but before lockdown I would walk, exercise and eat OKish. Now I just seem to have lost all self control and routine. And it shows. I've put on at least two stone in lockdown. My face is bloated and my belly is massive.

I don't know why I'm posting. I just need a kick up the arse to change my habits. I'm stuck in a big rut. Can anyone help? On an average day I eat a lot of bread and carbs. I snack on junk like crisps and biscuits and I drink maybe 3-4 nights a week which is also empty calories.

[Italiangreyhound]

Jumpingjosephene you are worth changing for.

[thenightsky]

Me too. A stone and half has gone on and I look 6 months pregnant. I can't even say I've eaten crap really, just normal lunches and dinners and nothing between meals. Its the bloody wine that I've drunk by the gallon, but I can't seem to wean myself off. Well, I manage 2 or 3 nights mid-week dry, but its not enough to make up for the alcohol excess on the other nights.

[wohmum]

@reader12

Google figure 8 fitness. It's life-changing, I swear!

I keep seeing figure 8 advertised .... is it as good as it looks?

[Passpartout30]

Hi OP, in the same boat as you. As the days get darker I am reaching for junk. I agree with others, please be kind to yourself. This year has beaten us all up and there’s bound to be fallout from that. I think there is some really excellent advice on this thread about considering a day a success if you do something positive like drink water rather than focusing on cutting things out. I have had some success with meal boxes - at least then I know I’ll have 3 plant-heavy meals each week and I do my best with the rest. Not sure what your preferences are regarding exercise but I also joined a CrossFit gym in January and it’s a blast - even though I am by far the least fit and most fat person there. Good luck, we are rooting for you!

[SlothWithACloth]

If you can, make these 3 changes
Stop the drinking except maybe once on the weekend
Add veg or fruit to every meal and snack. For example have mushrooms, tomatoes or spinach with eggs for breakfast or berries and apples with porridge.
Have a piece of fruit before you have the biscuit or cake.
Salad or soup with your sandwich
Veg with dinner. From the freezer is fine.
Go for a walk every day. Start off small. Find some walking at home exercises on YouTube or put some tv on and march on the spot for a while.

You deserve to feel well and healthy.

[livefornaps]

@wohmum yup, I don't do it every single day nor have I ever followed the meal plan and I still lost inches from my waist without being bored out of my brain. Be prepared to sweat a LOT. But it's fun. The people in the support group say "just press play" and they are right. Don't overthink or try to second guess any of it. Just decide "today I'm not eating a load of crap and I'm going to move my butt". You can deal with tomorrow when you get there

[Impatiens]

Extra pints!

[tolerable]

being kind to yourself is...not indulge
just to be clear.
self loathing to point put it on here=motivation.do achievable,reasonable goals.photo diary.love who you are inside.

[Duemarch2021]

This was me!!! I got to my heaviest at the start of the first lockdown in march (17 stone 4lb) and i am 5 foot 8.. size 18.. i looked fat but im really curvy and carry it all in bum thighs and boobs which im quite happy about but still very uncomfortable in myself since i used to be a size 10-12 back in the day 😭 anyway.... i started doing a mixture of slimfast and slimming world and felt this really helped me.. try and go for a walk for 30 mins each day.. get a partner or friend or whatever to go with you if you dont like to go alone.. look into slimfast its not as bad as people think lol it helps motivate you when you see a loss of 7lb in the first week! Then that will motivate you to stick to less calories per day (1,300 calories of healthy foods) if you're not moving much then you shouldn't really need more than that... eat lots of fruit when u fancy sweet treats and have your treats still as it will make it easier ( i used to eat 1 giant bar of chocolate every day) swap that for 1 normal size small bar and swap.a bottle of wine for 2 glasses etc lol and you'll see a differece on the scales after a few days i reckon xxx

[tigerbear]

Same OP, the drinking is the worst for me, gin nearly every day, and we’ve started having hot chocolate and amaretto each night too.
Can’t wait until the swimming pool reopens!!

[Duemarch2021]

I'll just add that i lost about a stone doing this..... now im pregnant 😁 so not really thinking about what im eating for now.. im back at about 17 stone but will concentrate on losing it once settled with baby and cant drink alcohol so that helps not put extra weight on 😂 ... its so hard when you get so much pleasure from food I'm awful for it.. you sound like you may be depressed and thats your way of making yourself happy.. i believe that once you see improvement on scales you will be more motivated.. if you havnt got scales, get a pair and record your weight... weigh yourself every few days naked and in morn (i know people say dont weigh often but it works for me) try and lessen bread by 1 or 2 slices a day add more fruit and veg and lean meat xx

[Summerdayshaze]

I’m the same, OP. Like some great fat eating machine. Crept up to almost 15 stone. I feel bloated, uncomfortable and incredibly unhealthy. I’m desperate to get this year done. I feel I need a line in the sand for motivation.

[grassisjeweled]

Get low carbing

The only way

[Chocaholic9]

The best way to lose weight is through the 5:2 diet. I've lost a lot of weight that way and kept it off.

Don't be disgusted with yourself though, there's nothing wrong with weight as long as it doesn't affect your health.

[Nitflux]

You’re absolutely right about small steps. If I try to commit to too much I inevitably fail then beat myself up about it. If I commit to, say, exercising twice a week, that feels much more manageable than every day, for example. Figure out what’s realistic and doable. But give yourself a bit of a break. This year has been a right shitter.

[Pringlemonster]

This year has been a right off ,for all of us.
COVID has made it a difficult year.
I think op ,do the same as me ,enjoy your Christmas,eat the food in moderation
Then 1 January,new start ,new you ,healthy eating
We are all in the same boat

[Iamclearlyamug]

Oh god don’t think I’ve ever related to a post so much 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ Be kind to yourself OP, lots of us in the same boat. I have big ideas almost every day, by 5pm I’ve ordered dominos or whacked out the biscuits 😞😞 I’m literally at the stage where I’m considering sending every penny in my bank to my mum, and getting her to transfer it back when I need petrol or whatever - THATS how little self control I have. Last night I ate 6 slices of dominos pizza, 3 slices of their garlic pizza bread, 3 of their chicken strips, 3 of their chocolate cookies AND then 2 tubes of after eights 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ Ffs I can seriously binge eat, could have eaten more tbh but went to bed to beat myself up some more 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[MindyStClaire]

You sound like me OP. I can't do dramatic change or diets, I just don't stick to them. I'm taking it slow. I make one small change at a time, I'm trying to row back the new bad habits before I change what I was doing before.

First I stopped snacking between breakfast and lunch. Then in the afternoon (harder for me), then only having the one treat after dinner. I try not drink my calories but I was pregnant and now breastfeeding so that really just meant giving up soft drinks which is easier than booze! Still have a glass of wine and a takeaway on a Saturday night because I need something!

Each day I get out for a brisk walk if the weather allows and try do a ten minute pilates video on YouTube or something.

Remember, each biscuit not eaten is calories saved, and even ten minutes of exercise is better than nothing.

I've stopped the gain and am very slowly losing, but I know this will ultimately be more successful for me than a diet.

[spaceghetto]

I was in this rut before lockdown. I started running, believe me I was by no means fit or healthy. It took a month of having to drag myself out of the house to run for 2 minutes then feel awful for a few hours. Then something shifted, i ran my first 1k. I now do 5k 3 times a week. The impact to my mental health, mood (and body!) has been incredible. I know i would have read a reply like this while i was in said rut, role my eyes and think i cant run. Well yes I bloody well can! Also, i found running helped to suppress my appetite and change my mindset about snacking. A bag of crisps doesnt seem as enticing when you've gone for a 30 min run

[TattiesGone]

Hi op, i've put on a stone and a half for the same reasons as you. I'm trying not to hate myself for it but yes i can't say when i catch a side glimpse in the mirror I'm not slightly wtf

I have only in the last month started to get a bit serious about sorting myself out. I cut the booze right back (still drink on weekends just not the week days). Swapped my lunch and dinners round so I'm having the heavier meal earlier in the day and I'm having as few carbs as possible. It's very slow going (only 3lbs loss in 5 weeks) but I'm much better at losing weight when i dont feel I'm deprived of much so i just have to accept it will fall off v slowly.

I've also made sure anyone I've seen since putting on the weight is aware before hand. Self defence mechanism!

Finally - i thnk you should go easier on yourself. This time last year who even knew what social distancing was? Who wouldn't have burst into tears at the notion that our kids would be home for 6 months and we'd have to educate them?! It would drive a nun to drink/ eat her weight in shit food!

[BefuddledPerson]

Lockdown is impossible, we've been living with restrictions for almost a full year. I'm not surprised eating, drinking, sleeping, exercise are all going awry.

Most people don't have willpower. We need to make positive healthy choices rather than trying to deny ourselves unhealthy things.

[AllTheUserNamesAreTaken]

I’m not sure on your working hours etc but can you fit in a 30 minute walk before you start work? I’m working from home and know I feel so much better on the days it’s not raining as I walk my son to school before a day at my desk. I’ve often done an hours work before school but then that 40 minute walk really helps my mood.

If you’re able to fit it in then a 20-30 minute walk at lunchtime would give you a lift too.

It would massively increase your movement so burn some calories but would help your mood and feel better about yourself. You’d be more likely to have the motivation to make better food choices

[Lindtballsrock]

One thing that’s worked for me this year is having a non negotiable rule that every day I have to move for at least 30 mins. It could be a walk, or an online yoga/fitness video, or just putting music on that love and dancing around, anything really but I really find that doing that lifts my mental health and makes it easier to control what I eat. Sometimes I get so into the movement that I voluntarily do longer than 30 mins.

Also I gave up snacking other than on nuts/fruit. I don’t always stick rigidly to that rule but just doing so most of the time makes a difference.

And as others have said, there’s no point wasting energy/time on beating yourself up. I had to change my mindset before I started losing weight. I stopped feeling angry with myself and started feeling feeling more a of a fond nostalgia for my binge eating days. Sort of told myself ‘right, you’ve had a lovely time, you’ve eaten all the pies and by god that felt good, but now the priority is being healthy so let’s change what we’re consuming’.

[Elfieishere]

with Christmas coming up I feel like it's not realistically going to improve until the New Year

This is just an excuse. If you start now you could be half a stone lighter by Xmas. If you don’t start now you could be half a stone heavier.

The choice is yours.

[AllTheUserNamesAreTaken]

But definitely be kind to yourself, I know what you mean about food and drink being the only pleasures at the moment.
Maybe focus on reducing the junk down to one thing a day to begin with - some chocolate or crisps in the evening, alcohol 2 days only, and look into some recipes that really appeal to you. Not necessarily low calories but proper food so it has nutritional benefit as well as giving you pleasure.

Combined with the exercise you may see a change on the scales but even if not you may start to feel better about yourself and more in control, and then able to look at calories