Single mum in debt

[polarbear99]

I'm a single mum of 3 DC aged 6, 4 and 1. I used to be absolutely terrible with money and am trying desperately to change my ways. My mother was the same way (still is) and it was completely normal to me growing up to not pay your bills, have bailiffs at the door etc. I am now paying my debts back one by one and "snowballing" them (when one debt is paid off I use that money to go towards the next one). Doing this, my debt will be completely clear in just under 2 years. I have sorted my incomings/outgoings, put a tiny amount in savings each month and have made some lifestyle changes and now do things like meal planning. It has been a massive adjustment for me especially when I have no "role model" of someone who is good with money. I'm determined to do this for my DC and break this crazy family cycle. I'm currently on universal credit so things are quite tight, does anyone have any more debt/money saving tips or inspiring stories for me? Thanks for reading.

Well done op for realizing the problem and doing something about it. You seem very committed so I'm sure you will get there. And its good that you are thinking of savings as well.

You've done really well.
The best advice I could give is carry on as you are. Be strict with yourself and the treats will be even more special when you get them.
For me, the meal planning is by far one of the best ways to manage a budget. Also online delivery if you can manage that as you're less tempted to overspend.

I second the well done! You probably are already doing this, but if not, prioritise the order of the debts you pay off by paying off the highest interest ones first.

Well done you’ll get there. You’ve done very well to get this far.

Amazing well done, anything you can do to increase income? Lots of £10 a day threads on mums net

You sound to me like an inspiring story yourself

Well done op, that is really inspiring. I'm a single mum in mountains of debt but really want to get free - you give me hope it can be done :-)

I too think yours is the inspiring story.

Well done, you’re doing really well. Can you have a clear out of outgrown clothes and books/toys and eBay them to add to the savings pot. With Christmas and winter coming up I would add to savings rather than the debt as it will give you a buffer if anything unexpected comes up as you sound like you have a good working plan for repaying the debt.

If you are on insta there are loads of people telling their inspirational stories and sharing tips.

Congrats on changing your behaviours.

Try looking at the Martin Lewis site, he has some good ideas for money saving and ways to make money go further

Well done. It's incredibly difficult to learn to manage money if you've never had any guidance, and for you to make such positive changes to your own circumstances is not only good for you, but great example for your kids.

I follow a Youtuber called Jordan F Paige who does a good few videos on budgeting and whilst she is American, it's very transferable, especially things like her "envelope budgeting" and stocking/prepping foods to save money.

Well done.

Just wanted to say well done OP!!

Well done op! I am the first in my family to break this cycle too! It’s a massive fuck you to my family! (Debt was the least of their problems).
I’ll never be rich but I’ll never be tied to debt.

Fabulous well done @polarbear99. I saw on Martin Lewis recently he advises never taking out a big loan to pay off all the small ones as with the interest in top you pay even more off so avoid that. I have recently got into ebay which I love I sell my newborns clothes once DC has outgrown them as they grow so quick he wears them max twice and I buy some bundles for him of their like coats etc because no one sees him not currently and you can get some beautiful things for cheap so a tip for saving on kids clothing. Things like always turning tvs of standbye saves money over time. I have also declined upgrading my phone and went from paying 42£ to 9£ sim only so if your due an upgrade soon don't do it waste of money all phones do the same stuff. My mum only ever puts her clothes on a quick wash in the machine unless they are very soiled again will save money over time on electric and water bills. But really well done on deciding to do this. Once your all paid off you will be able to put away a small amount each month for rainy days and treats for you and the kids. I wouldn't go ott for Christmas birthdays either etc for family and stuff that can waste alot of money I only buy nieces nephews and my mum.

Thanks everyone. So kind! My family don't give a crap about being in debt so this has never been acknowledged as an achievement!

Well done! I'm crap with money, I need some of your determination.

Do you use cold water for machine washing? I come from a country where I think most of the population does and would only use warm if something is especially dirty. Remember that financial security for children is more important than the latest toys for Xmas so don't be guilted into overbuying.

Where are your savings? The help to save account would give anything you could put aside a good boost.

Well done OP, that's a really good achievement. I agree with a PP about keeping things small for Christmas presents. At the age of your children they will barely need anything spent on them to have a lovely day, just give them lots of attention and make it feel like a special day. Things that are practical and you would buy anyway are good (t-shirts, pyjamas), or pick up some good quality toys or books secondhand. And, most 1 year olds will be just as happy to play with a cardboard box as a real gift

Well done! Bulk cook as much as possible, keep a good store cupboard of basic herbs, spices, stock cubes etc and make the most of any leftovers. Learn how to bake and cook as much as you can. Homemade fairy cakes are very cheap compared to shop bought ones and your DC would love to help, Im sure. I think that probably the most helpful advice I can give is to teach your DC the meaning of money and budgeting as soon as they are old enough. Play shops and give them money to spend even if it is only a small amount. Give them a piggy bank each and encourage them to put part of any money gifts or pocket money earned from doing small jobs for you away to save. Passing on your budgeting skills will likely be one of the most important life lessons they can ever learn :D

Thank you! My 6 year old DD loves baby dolls. I have managed to get her from Facebook a pram, a baby, a dolls play mat and swing and fill clothes all for just 30 pounds! My youngest two I have spent even less than that. They do all have new matching PJs for the night before I'm really enjoying bargain hunting

I second HelpToSave for those on universal credit. You will never get interest like that anywhere else ever. Up to £1200 of free money!!

A couple of years ago I stopped all non essential shopping. I now only buy clothing that I need. This year I've bought next to nothing. I dont have that guilty feeling either and have alot more free time and space.

I also have a mother who taught me nothing about money. She was always in debt. Never to the extreme of bailiffs turning up but she never budgeted!

I was the same but luckily I have a husband who is amazing with money and now my biggest and only debt is my mortgage. I even have savings and I never thought I'd ever be able to say that.

I budget 2/3 months in advance now. I make a list of all my bills that need paying and then I work out how much I can save and how much I have free to spend over the course of a month.

On pay day, I pay all bills that aren't direct debit (only 2 are) & I move money over to my savings straight away and then I know how much I have left to spend for the month. The one thing I still struggle with is, if I've got say £300.00 left to spend a month, I can't seem to say to myself only spend £75 a week because I might pay for several days out in advance at the beginning of the month (obviously not right now)

Anyway, well done. You are on the right path. Stay strong and in less than 2 years you will feel so much lighter & happier.