To think parents will begin to lie

[Settleandcalm]

DD has a slight temp for one day, as a result doing the right thing we eventually got the test, and a veeeery long time later the results. The test was awful making her vomit over herself, the wait for my older children who are already struggling being in and out of school also awful. But it was the right thing to do.

BUT. Would I put her through that test every 3 weeks which is the average she got a temp:cough last year? No. Can I afford to lose my job? No. I will do the right thing but I have an utter fear over it.

But I suppose I wonder how long it will take parents to start slipping back to the “watch and see” version of illness. If it’s just a bit of a temp on one day... just a bit of a cough... maybe give them a day and see if they are fine, rather than fight for a test or isolate The whole family for 14 days.

There are already kids in school coughing and I know only us and one other family has tested, so perhaps, because of the testing fiasco and inconsistent rules people are already starting to lie?

[TheKeatingFive]

So my extremely vulnerable child has to just suck it up.

Well who’s going to help this family when they’re made homeless?

I am very sorry that medically vulnerable children are in this position, but financially vulnerable children have always been in a very precarious situation. People will put their family’s immediate needs (whatever they are) first.

As a parent of a medically vulnerable child, their health and public health is your priority. If you’re the parent of a child who may end up on the street, then a roof over their head will be yours. Naturally.

[Enoughnowstop]

You react to the immediate crisis. Isn’t that obvious?

Your decision to send your sick child into school could result in my death or the death of someone in my family. What you keep saying is that we don’t matter, just a bit of collateral damage as long as you keep your job. Good to know absolutely no one is looking out for us.m

[Enoughnowstop]

Well who’s going to help this family when they’re made homeless?

We have a welfare state that will pay rent for any family that finds themselves without work or who lose the roof from over their heads. And whilst I understand no one wants to put their children through that if they can help it, self-preservation etc etc etc we really do need to see the bigger picture here.

My 11 year old vulnerable child can’t be replaced. I can’t be replaced in my children’s lives. Or fuck us, eh, with our disabilities?!

[TheKeatingFive]

What you keep saying is that we don’t matter, just a bit of collateral damage as long as you keep your job.

I’m not talking about myself btw. To be clear. I’m talking about families on very precarious incomes who don’t get paid if they don’t go to work.

Think about what you’re asking them to do - put their family on the streets (potentially) on the off chance they have Covid and infect others.

Becoming homeless is pretty serious. Yet no one seems to be engaging with this situation. Expecting them to act in the ‘greater good’ when literally no one is helping them seems unrealistic.

[TheKeatingFive]

We have a welfare state that will pay rent for any family that finds themselves without work or who lose the roof from over their heads

And we’ve seen how often that fails. We’ve also seen what homelessness does to children’s lives.

Your children, their lives, their chances are your priority. I just don’t understand why you can’t see that other people, whose children are vulnerable in different ways, have exactly the same instinct as you in prioritising them and having their needs top of mind.

[Wannabangbang]

It's an unpopular opinion but schools need to be closed now for this very reason. The numbers have started to rise since schools went back, however much i want mine in school I'm not sure how this circus is managable in the long term. Online decent learning needs to be made possible for all pupils.
Unfortunately however annoying it is your employers cannot just sack you because of this and if they do i would take them to court

[TheKeatingFive]

Unfortunately however annoying it is your employers cannot just sack you because of this and if they do i would take them to court

This is at best, ridiculously naive.

[steppemum]

So, my dd, who I posted about up thread, now has a cough.
She has been off school since she felt unwell.
She had
Earache, sore throat and feeling unwell.
Then headache, and slept all day
Then snotty nose and sore throat and hoarse voice.
the she developped a cough. Not a wet phlegmy cough, but an insistant dry cough.

I know, and you know and it is obvious, that this cough is related to the fact that she has a cold.
She has been off school for longer than she would have been normally, but I have kept her home as school has asked us to err on the side of caution and keep them home if ill.

I did not get her tested as she didn't have the 3 symptons that allow you to access a test.

BUT

1. evidence shows that in kids headaches etc are more common symptons than the others.
   
2. She now has a cough. if I send her in, they may send her home, and if she doesn't get tested on day 5 (today) then she, and the rest of the family must isolate for 14 days, if school think she has corona.
   
3. She was at a youth group meet in the park last Sunday, and someone else frmo that event has Corona (she doesn't know them and didn't remember talking to them, but she was there)
   

So, she was tested this morning, and we are all self isolating. I am losing 3 days pay, and I have a year 11 and year 13 who are having to stay home from school, which they can ill afford.

It sucks, it really sucks, my year 13 went balistic last night, especially as I said that means he must not go out of socialise/see his girlfriend either until the test result is back.
I am so fed, up, but, because of that slight, tiny possibility, we had to do the right thing.

Now I am praying that the results are back in 48 hours, and not 5 days, and that they are negative.

[Rosebel]

Where I work people have already been threatened with sack due to being off because their children had symptoms.
What will they do next time? I expect they will just lie at least to work.
It's scary. I'm constantly waiting for that phone call from the school. If my children so much as clear their throats I begin to worry.
We are lucky that my husbands work are quite understanding and he probably won't loose his job but I'm not holding my breath that I'll still have a job this time next year.
I'd feel guilty lying and worry about vulnerable children and adults catching the virus but it's going to be a nightmare.

[Mittens030869]

I really am torn, as I have been right through this. I've been suffering from long-term Covid on top of my pre-existing CFS. But I'm finally recovering from the symptoms, having not had a temperature for several weeks. Now numbers are rising again and we're about to go into the flu season (no jab available until the end of October), I'm very vulnerable.

However, my DDs need to be in school, as they really struggled during lockdown and need routine now. They're also vulnerable, not health wise but because they're adopted. So I really hope it won't come to that, although I'd be less at risk if they weren't going into school every day.

[steppemum]

my only consolation is that I won't lose my job as I work for myself, but I still lose 3 days earnings.

[Enoughnowstop]

I just don’t understand why you can’t see that other people, whose children are vulnerable in different ways, have exactly the same instinct as you in prioritising them and having their needs top of mind

Because the bigger picture and getting to grips with that bigger picture is important. And because you fail to recognise that because I have a job, I cannot possibly be financially vulnerable and can’t possibly be facing losing the roof over my head like other vulnerable people. As well as being worried about what the virus will do to us as a family if we contract it. The least you can do is recognise that people in schools are taking huge risks and keep your child off if they are showing symptoms. And to recognise that when you do that, you are making sure schools can stay open which is what we all want.

[glowworm93]

Because the bigger picture and getting to grips with that bigger picture is important

It's really strange to me that you can say this whilst completely failing to see the bigger picture for others i.e. they will lose their jobs and homes.

Seems to me you only see the bigger picture when it benefits you 🤷‍♀️

I say this as someone who is currently keeping their child off school because she has a cough even though it's almost certainly because she had a cold (as every single time DD gets a cold it turns into a cough). But I can see why someone in a more precarious employment situation may not be able to do this and I don't see why you can't to be honest.

[TheKeatingFive]

And because you fail to recognise that because I have a job, I cannot possibly be financially vulnerable and can’t possibly be facing losing the roof over my head like other vulnerable people.

Where have I said that? Nowhere. What I have said is that you’re prioritising according to your family needs. I find it strange that you can’t see that others would do that too. Just that their immediate needs are different.

Because the bigger picture and getting to grips with that bigger picture is important.

If I was in imminent danger of not being able to pay bills, missing rent, having my children out on the street, then the bigger picture is not what I’m focused on. Fire fighting in the context of the immediate picture will be taking up all of my energy.

[TheKeatingFive]

Seems to me you only see the bigger picture when it benefits you

Exactly

[canigooutyet]

Ok parent loses their job worse case scenario.
They explain the situation to the LL or the mortgage company, they look at any insurance policies they took out with the mortgage, ask for a freeze etc.
If there's no arrears they will be more amicable, and there are various templates online.
THey call sky, mobile companies and the rest and say the truth, need to disconnect because no money. Again, templates online

Unless sacked on the day payroll was done they will still have some wage, never mind any holidays owed.

Yes I know it's a pain but we also have various benefits available, they don't just look and see you were sacked/quit and say no. Once the wages has run out and if the claim hasn't been processed they can borrow some of the benefit money, yes it needs to be paid back which is done over several months. If things are really dire there are also things like food banks, and depending on their circumstance grants.

Local authorities also do have a version of housing benefit through a discretionary fund. Council tax have similar on top of the various discounts.

They wouldn't lose their home the same day as their job. This is a lengthy legal process and currently all evictions are suspended.

[Bupkis]

@TheKeatingFive

Seems to me you only see the bigger picture when it benefits you

Exactly

The difference being, in a pandemic, keeping your child off, self isolating and getting tested, when they have symptoms, benefits everyone....otherwise risk increases, children and teachers become I'll (and do self isolate), and potentially schools close due to lack of staff or the realisation that they cannot be made 'covid safe. Without effective testing and without everyone doing their part - we are fucked.

In order to do this the govt has to consider the people that may he at risk of losing their jobs and homes, and they have to consider how the most vulnerable can be protected.
The government are doing neither of these things.

But, enough of the whataboutery on this thread.. I am in a fucking awful place at the moment with my very real privilege of a disabled, vulnerable 10 yr old, an extremely anxious yr 10 who is terrified of missing more school throughout Winter and a dh who is desperately trying to keep his job and our house (which we don't own, as we can't afford to buy).

[Bupkis]

...or as Chris Who try just said
“You cannot, in a pandemic, just take your own risk. You are risking other people,”

[Bupkis]

...not sure who Chris Who is?!
Chris Whitty!!

[Enoughnowstop]

Seems to me you only see the bigger picture when it benefits you

So I’m not allowed to be concerned about the impact of this on my family? I am already isolating - 10 working days I will lose pay this month. Would it have been better for me to ignore? Sure. But there is a bigger picture.

And as you’re campaigning for all those out there struggling, why does that not include teachers? Who also face financial issues and the very real possibility of serious illness and death.

[NaughtipussMaximus]

So I’m not allowed to be concerned about the impact of this on my family?

Yes, you are. And other parents are allowed to be concerned about the impact on their families. That's the whole point, surely? I mean, great for you that you can afford to lose 10 days pay - there are families out there who would have to put their children to bed with empty stomachs or even lose their homes if they did that, especially if they had to do it several times. It's staggeringly naive and privileged to say "Oh, well - food banks! Homeless shelters!" as though any parent in their right mind would see this as an acceptable consequence.

And yes, schools may be forced to shut anyway eventually if the virus continues to spread. But that's a "maybe, perhaps, might happen" possibility not a "definite, won't be able to feed the kids tomorrow if I don't work" fact.