Anyone else's family not believe that WFH = work?

[InescapableDeath]

My husband and I have been working from home since lockdown, also home-educating two kids for most of that. It's been exhausting (I know a lot of people have it tougher).

I don't think our parents believe we actually have work to do? My husband works fulltime, and I work part-time in a really full-on agency job where I have to declare what I'm doing by the hour. I've compressed my hours to four long days over the lockdown/holidays so I can actually spend Fridays talking to my children - as soon as they are back to school I'm doing five shorter days again.

My parents and the in-laws have done things like phoning in the day and getting a bit upset if we can't chat. Inviting us to garden parties on a Thursday and being super surprised that we have work to do? Not understanding that as well as working in the day, we often have to work in the evening as well. I'm not expecting them to throw a pity party for us - it is what it is - but they haven't ever even offered sympathy or 'that sounds hard'.

My parents rang yesterday to announce they are visiting us soon which is great - we haven't seen them since about January.

But they're arriving the Friday morning that the kids are back at school and I was planning to be back working Fridays then! My husband will have loads of work/calls to be doing too. It's pointless telling them to come later. They leave home at 6am so they can get to ours at 9 and beat the traffic.

Every time I mentioned the work situation my dad completely changed the topic - I don't think it's malicious, he just doesn't get what my work actually involves and if I'm not going 'out' to work, it's like he thinks can't be that big a deal (he essentially worked in a factory when he was working).

I want to see them so it's fine, I will move back working Fridays by one week but I honestly think both sets of parents think we are just doing gardening while we're working from home...

I really can't work AND see them - I usually have deadlines for work in the course of a day, as well as loads of video calls, random calls on my phone, etc. Last time the in-laws popped in I ended up cancelling all my afternoon meetings and doing the work in the evening. Not ideal.

ARGH, is it just me?

[SarahAndQuack]

I've pretty much always worked from home.

DP's family don't get it. They'd arrange to visit then turn up hours early with 'oh, but you're home, what's the problem?' or they'd tell us they were leaving on Monday morning then sit around ignoring hints that I'd like to get down to work now.

Eventually I had to arrange to be out of the house until just before they were due to arrive, so they got the message that they really couldn't show up six hours early and expect me to drop my work and entertain them.

But it is bloody tedious. My MIL still repeatedly complains to DP about how I 'act as if I'm working' or 'make a big deal of this "working from home"'.

And it's definitely not just older people who have this misconception, either.

[myBumJuiceSmellsLikeRoses]

I've taken to locking the front door at 8.25am and only answering the home phone if it rings during my lunch.

At the start, 2/3rds of my team were furloughed. My office is predominately male, but there are 2 other women. We started a watsapp group for the 3 of us.
While they were furloughed I regularly got sent links to yoga workouts and whatever other activities they were going to try that day. I didn't have an hour available to "chill out" - I was covering their roles as well as my own. I rarely even had lunch. I'm sure they just wanted me to feel included but even so.
My other half only called me one in the middle of a web meeting, that was a mistake he didn't make again. He wanted me to make a call he was too busy to make as he was working hard.....

The worse thing for me was actually having what I think was a door to door salesman knock in the middle of the day. I didn't answer the door but saw 2 guys in crisp white shirts trying other houses. I mean, who the hell door knocks on total strangers during a pandemic?

[mellowgreenspring]

I'm the same as many other have WFH on and off for 20 years, when I did get my own office and staff my dad would phone the office to get hold of me and want to chat or ask me for the Netflix password or some random reason.

My offices are all open plan, he'd then ask, who answered the phone I'll say oh that was Geoff and he then continues, what does Geoff do? If he a new staff member? How many do you have? How is business doing etc.

It was sweet the first few times!

Like every time he called he was baffled by the fact I had staff and I was working 😂

He would then flip it around and say you work too hard you're a mother why aren't you at home with the children, I'd tell him my DH is there and he'd huff as say I should be home.

I honestly couldn't win, but I love reading theses as now I know it's not just me that used to get school mums asking me for lunch and people pop in or give me jobs to do as I'm WFH!

[Happynow001]

I received 16 calls in a row from my sister, my brother, my mum and my SiL. Obviously I got really worried, thinking something was wrong so I excused myself from the meeting only to find that they were all doing a Joe Wicks workout together on Zoom and wanted me to join in. I went mental at them and haven't received a work-day call again since.
Well done @ColdNovemberRain!! I just don't understand why people don't listen and respect you enough to believe you when you tell them you are working. Especially the younger generation. I guess they'll think twice in future.. 🌹

[Happynow001]

But it is bloody tedious. My MIL still repeatedly complains to DP about how I 'act as if I'm working' or 'make a big deal of this "working from home"'.

I hope your DP is supporting you @SarahAndQuack and putting them straight? 🌹

[SarahAndQuack]

She is now - I've got to admit it took her a little while too, but she gets it now. Thanks for asking!