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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think that toddlers should go out for a walk every single day no matter what?

76 replies

welliemum · 03/10/2007 21:51

This is really an open question, I promise to take it on the chin if people think IABU >

So, I have dd1 (just turned 3) and dd2 (15 months) and they are lovely but never sit still. If they don't go out for a walk - ideally 2 walks - they're literally climbing the walls at 5pm. And when I say 'literally" I do mean literally: eg standing on the window sill after traversing the North Face of the sideboard, working out how to traverse across to the glasses cabinet.

Yesterday (working day for me) it was very cold and windy and they didn't go out and then were just awful and didn't go to sleep until 9pm.

So, should the person who was looking after them have taken them out?

We're in NZ, it's spring, mostly too warm for frost now, but yesterday we had rain and strong wind, and it was very cold out because the wind was coming at us straight off some snowy mountains.

I'd have layered up and taken them out, but AIBU?

OP posts:
MrsJohnCusack · 03/10/2007 22:19

I don't think you're being unreasonable, is what I'm trying to say. if you didn't go in manky weather where you live, you wouldn't go out much for a lot of the year. That's what warm clothes are for

Original poster
welliemum · 03/10/2007 22:22

Dh and I fantasise about toddler hamster wheels too!

Are you being rude about Wellington weather MrsJC

Wellington, where palm trees wave in the breeze and we lounge about in our underwear sipping cocktails on tropical beaches...

OP posts:
Rubybees · 03/10/2007 22:24

YANBU!! I'm a childminder and the children love going out everyday! And so do I it keeps me sane lol

nzshar · 03/10/2007 22:27

Having been brought up just north of wellington on the west coast I dont remember playing indoors much at all unless torrential rain/hail. Tell her to get a grip, get layered and get out

admylin · 03/10/2007 22:32

welliemum , there is a man size hamster wheel at our local play ground, it's great when the dc get on it and I can sit and say 'wow just show me again how you did that...' 'til I know they are nicely tired out and ready for calmness at home!

Original poster
welliemum · 03/10/2007 22:36

That is FAB, admylin, I WANT one.

Are you in Germany? I wonder if you can get them here? We could put one in the paddock and live happily ever after!

OP posts:
InMyHumbleOpinion · 03/10/2007 22:37

YABU you can't make someone take two kids out in driving rain. It won't hurt them to stay in and do playdoh,.

MrsJohnCusack · 03/10/2007 22:40

PMSL at tropical Wellington

sent my sister something I found about 'don't have your hair cut into a bob in Wellington, you will never see where you're going again'. Oh, she moved into their new house at the weekend, on the hill in Roseneath. very nice

anyway, nothing could be worse than Christchurch's lovely spring weather yesterday. It was quite something....but we still went out when it had calmed down a bit

SueBarooeeooeeooooo · 03/10/2007 22:41

I can't actually walk very far, and certainly not on my own with four under 7. They cope,

But if you know your kids, and you know that they need to go out, and you've said that, I'd just reinforce that's it's ok to do if the weather's a bit inclement, so in your situation, yanbu.

edam · 03/10/2007 22:46

I do not think you are being unreasonable in telling your nanny exactly what you expect her to do. You are paying the wages. And it's not a ludicrous request. You aren't expecting her to teach them to snorkel, or something.

Make it clear what you want, nicely.

Original poster
welliemum · 03/10/2007 22:53

Ah, you see IMHO, it won't hurt them to stay in and do playdough, but it will hurt me.

But you've pinpointed my concern exactly: I'm happy to do this myself but not happy to insist that someone else does it. Hence this thread.

MrsJC, LOL about the hair in Wellington, I just can't wear my hair loose any more. Am thinking about getting a skinhead. (And a woolly hat).

[Hijack] If you're going to be in town and keen to do something, let me know. I mean, I know you'll be wanting to spend lots of time with your sister, but it would be great to meet up again.

OP posts:
MrsJohnCusack · 03/10/2007 23:48

can you hijack your own thread?

Am planning to make it to Wellie at some point soonish and will def let you know. Hepefully over a weekend with just DS, but maybr during the week if DH EVER finds out how much holiday he has and takes it

admylin · 04/10/2007 12:17

welliemum, the wheel thing is fab, my dc call it the hamster playground! Yes we're in Germany and lucky to be in a representative area (so lots of ministry buildings, government offices) and they make sure it looks good and stays clean too.

maisemor · 04/10/2007 12:30

Fresh air is not going to give you a cold!!! Why would you think that?

Rain is not going to hurt you.

Why buy wellies, raincoats, rainhats, brullies [sp?], raintrousers if not to use them?

Both you and the children will only benefit from going on a daily walk, even when it is sunny, snowy, rainy, cloudy or foggy.

I do agree that if there is a tornado (or other extreme weather conditions) outside then you should seek appropriate shelter and not try to venture out no matter how annoying your children will get .

Anna8888 · 04/10/2007 12:34

Yes, children need outdoor walks and play every day.

The only thing that would prevent me from taking my daughter out every day is illness or really extreme heat, or icy weather. But that's just a few days a year.

nospeak · 04/10/2007 12:42

I think yes you are being unreasonable. Ds goes out nearly every day, there is probably about 2 days per month that he doesn't if it is really heavy raining or if we have been waiting in for a parcel or something. But I don't think it is totally essential.

I remember when it was ds's first winter there was one day that we didn't go out, I can't remember why and my MIL hit the roof and accused me of a being a bad mother, she went totally over the top and I just don't see where she was coming from. She still has this big thing where she goes on and on about how her children were never in the house from breakfast until tea time, ds probably spends about 1 hour a day actually being outside but when he is at home we cook and do crafts etc so I can't really see the big deal.

Sorry for the essay!

twofishes · 04/10/2007 13:01

nospeak your MIL is probably from the same era as my Mum we were out from dawn til dusk ( in for meals!) cos that meant the house was kept tidy...and also we were on our own most of the time ( this is the 1970's we are talking about when is 'wasn't as dangerous' apparently)it was a shock to system when she had DS1 for a few days and I told her she wasn't allowed to leave him outside!!!
anyway back on track my DD and DS2 go out every day cos they have to do the school run, standing around the playground type thing, but TBH I wouldn't take them out every day if I didn't have to, esp when it is sideways rain and gales..there are other ways of getting exercise indoors, however if they enjoy it then why not?

MadamePlatypus · 04/10/2007 13:07

I think you are right. I love "toddlers are just labradors with less fur". Sometimes I am a complete wimp when it is cold and wet and windy, but in theory you are right.

MadamePlatypus · 04/10/2007 13:09

I think you are right. I love "toddlers are just labradors with less fur". Sometimes I am a complete wimp when it is cold and wet and windy, but in theory you are right.

MadamePlatypus · 04/10/2007 13:10

oops

duchesse · 04/10/2007 13:19

Nope, not at all unreasonable. I always described my son as a labrador. Now that I have a labrador as well, it's hard to tell the difference. I never understood people (other parents) who would turn to me and say, after watching my son charge around for a hour or so: "Ooh, he'll sleep well tonight!. To which my only possible answer was: "I doubt it."

I think many people expect children to be a bit more like little adults than they really are. I often wonder how many cases of ADD & ADHD could be "cured" by (a lot) more exercise and a sensible diet.

oliveoil · 04/10/2007 13:23

oh if it is pissing down and hideous, we don't go out to play, are you insane?

we go in the car to the shops instead

or make a big den in the playroom and wreck the house

YABU

seeker · 04/10/2007 13:27

I don't think you are being unreasonable - so long as you've discussed it with the nanny and she's happy with it as well. I'm a hardy "it's only rain and you're not made of sugar" type myself and so are my children, but I don't think I'd expect my nanny to be the same unless you specifically said "must be at one with the great outdoors" in the advertisement.

WriggleJiggle · 04/10/2007 13:30

"toddlers are just labradors with less fur" - I LOVE IT !

IMO everychild should spend some time outside each day, regardless of the weather. OK, perhaps not in a hurricane, but certainly in the snow, rain, wind etc.

Going outside doesn't have to be energetic, 'quieter' children can still potter about outside looking for creepycrawlies instead of racing around like a mad thing, but definately every child should have at least an hour of fresh air.

florenceuk · 04/10/2007 13:31

personally in that sort of weather in Wellington I wouldn't go out - I'd go somewhere indoors or make them run up the stairs a few times. The wind is horrendous - people who haven't lived there don't know how bad! Combined with the rain it would have been very cold and grim. But it's your nanny and your kids so you have the right to ask.

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