More recently I've decided to drop a friend I've known since our dd's were babies. Ever since we've met she's been on/off with the father of her dd. She's verbally attacked him in the street, he's called police on her twice (I wasn't there but she admitted to slapping him after he admitted to an affair) and got social services involved. I've always defended her, politely given her home truths if needed - got her into some therapy for the aggression etc. All through this I was also helping her cook/budget, giving her my old pram (same as a pp she sold it for £200 rather than return it, a year later) and listening to how terrible her ex was. Every year around their b.days they fall back into bed with each other. Every year she wonders if she should have another baby with him, every year I suggest not to. I've been to her house and spend days tidying/moving furniture, taking things to the tip. I've had her kid while she goes out for her weekly yoga/choir sessions that her ex was meant to have her for, all while she knows I don't have hobbies like this due to lack of childcare. Always asking for things from the house, "borrowing" a hoover, kettle, clothes, sander, paddling pool - not one of which has ever been returned.
Sorry, lots of things over the years so i'll cut to the chase. She recommended some gardeners to me who initially did great work. Then they started to stay later and later until I was feeding them dinner 3 nights a week, keeping dd up until 8pm when they left and collecting their 2 kids once a week from a town 40mins drive away. I don't even understand why I agreed to that but because they were "working" and struggling with childcare I agreed to. FFWD 2 months and they are expecting a pay out from their landlord. Immediately all work for me ground to a halt, 3 days of missed work with brief calls hours after they were expected with rubbish excuses each time. So I stopped calling them and offering work and ignored them when they rang a week later to see if they could continue. That week the lady of the couple turns up unannounced at my house and explains their expected windfall hasn't come through, they need work and she wants to stay over to visit the hospital next week . I managed to get her out of the house and said I would have to look at my calendar etc when I had a moment, closed the door and vowed to not do anything and keep ignoring them. I called the friend who recommended them and told her all of it and said I felt they were taking advantage, she agreed and said they had actually done the same to her (thanks for recommending them, right? ). Literally the next day I get a text from her saying they were all talking about me that evening and it was in fact my fault for not letting them in to do more work and ignoring them! Apparently they all agreed on this and I was being unreasonable. Also she needed to use my chipper so she was sending them around to get it from my shed that morning! I told her I was not having them come in while I wasn't home, didn't want them in my house for reasons I had already explained to her and that I was busy and couldn't deal with this right now. She went ballistic and said I needed to seriously think about this because she was in need and she thought I had "underlying issues"! I snapped and said yes I did have underlying issues, particularly with these gardeners that I had told her about and that perhaps if she would bother to call me (I was calling her every week to hear her whine on) she might ask how I was doing. She never bothered and I blocked her 3 weeks into lockdown. I feel so free!
Sorry that was a long one, needed to get it off my chest!