ATTENTION WELSH MNETTERS - Coronavirus and elderly parents dilemma

[DMCWelshcakes]

Morning all.

Here's my situation:

Parents in their 70s.
One with cancer in remission and the other one very depressed and getting worse by the day.
No local support or friends.
Live in South Wales, not a touristy place.
Massively missing their grandchildren who they've not seen since February.

We live in England.
We've got clear Covid-19 test results this week.
We can get there and back in a day.
We can easily afford a fine.
ANPR at the Bridge will show car as now being resident in England, despite Welsh number plate.

Do I bung the kids in the car, pack a picnic, sanitizer & portable toilet and go spend time with them in a social distanced fashion in an attempt to lift their mood?

YABU = don't go.
YANBU = go but be very careful.

[Gamble66]

Wales here - take shopping for them - I've had no issues doing the same for vunerable friends well over the 5 miles x

[cologne4711]

Does ANPR actually flash up where the car is currently registered or does it just register the number plate for future reference eg in case of speeding? I am not sure it is sophisticated enough to know if a car is currently registered in Wales or England and suspect police have been randomly stopping people especially families or people with eg bikes on the back.

I am surprised by all the people talking about cars not being locally registered. For example, I live in Hampshire but one of my cars has a Devon numberplate. So if I was in Devon people would assume I was local. But if I was in Cornwall they'd get the pitchforks out.

Anyway if you are visiting an elderly relative it comes under care.

[Sammyset]

I'd do it. You're not coming for a frivolous reason like a holiday or a sense of entitlement to stay at your second home.

Your parents' health and welfare is important and seeing the grandkids will give them a huge boost.

The chance of you being stopped on the M4 or around Cardiff is tiny.

[ShinyMe]

I'm in a similar situation in that my parents are elderly, my dad is disabled and my mum is a carer slowly going mad. They're in Wales, I'm in England. I'd go in a minute if I could get there and back in a day. It's a 4 hour drive for me though, so I'd need to stay overnight. I'm on leave from work soon though and hoping to go.

[KaTetof19]

@DMCWelshcakes you'll definitely be fine around J30. I had to drive to Pontprennau the other day and it was quite busy compared with early lockdown. You won't stick out as a solitary car worthy of investigation.

Plus I got my days/dates mixed up. Drakeford said 18th June for next review so might hear more tomorrow. I probably had Friday in my head to check the news properly (I don't like dribs and drabs).

Hope you get some proper Welshcakes

[bibbitybobbitycats]

I'd go alone, that way if you get stopped you have the reasonable excuse that you are going to see them for caring reasons. It would be horrible if they were looking forward to your visit and then you got stopped and had to turn back.

[MaleficentsCrow]

Go OP. Tell you parent your going to attempt it but there's no guarantee but you want to try.

Bing the kids in the car with a loaf of bread and some milk and I dropped just say you are delivering essentials, and there was nobody else you could call on. Kids have to come because you have caring responsibilities to them DP is otherwise engaged and can't do it.

My friends DP is in the army so travels from his camp in England to go see her every weekend. He hasn't been stopped to be honest.

[Polkadotdelight]

@37KaTetof19 they meet on Wed and Thurs to discuss but usually give official announcement on the Friday at 12.30. Saying that, he did a radio interview on the Friday morning last time and gave the outline then.

[Ethelswith]

I've just spoken to a Welsh friend.

The 5 miles is a strong recommendation not absolute law (because of the counties which include some very rural areas with no shops in that radius and no delivery services operating either.

Yes people do get challenged and may be turned back.

But you get a chance to explain yourself, so if you frame it in terms of a necessary welfare visit (first in months) because you are concerned that your parents MH is at risk owing to recent signs of deterioration. That is within the rules.

The ANPR is there for general policing, and friend was not aware it was being used in real time for COVID travel checks. There are no checkpoints as far as she knows on the M4.

Depending on where you are starting from, think about crossing somewhere like Hay, which as an 'international town has no checks, though there were some in Newtown area recently.

As long as you've not got a kayak on the roof and a tent on the back seat, and are getting close to a tourist spot, you probably,won't get checked at all. If you're somewhere that is not tourist, and you only have supplies for the housebound with you, it's worth the risk

(Disclaimer - this is just my understanding of what she said, but it makes sense like this to me)

[LockdownLemon]

I have driven in to Wales to do a business delivery and was not stopped - I think this is mainly done around touristy areas at peak weekend travel times.

[Spudley13]

I live much further into Wales, in an area which has had a very low level of Coronavirus. If you turned up in my village I would be very angry. Sorry. Many people have made many difficult sacrifices for a long time to keep Corona out of Wales and are following the rules and waiting patiently for the restrictions to lift. Why is your family more important than mine? Why should your wishes (well meaning they may be) put people at risk? The Welsh message is still Stay Home. So stay home.

[cardibach]

@Reluctantbettlynch

Welsh here - 5 miles is purely advisory, it is not an rule or regulation. I think this falls in to caring for a vulnerable person/ people from my pov.
I think the reluctance of Drakeford is purely a power trip and he's only currying favour with people who are not impacted by lockdown ie those that wish to continue isolating and are not affected financially.
Those who are looking at losing jobs / businesses / their homes are thoroughly pissed off with the smug twat. This is not a time for political cock swinging and Wales cannot afford to lose jobs.

I disagree about the Welsh Givernment ‘power trip’? For an elected government? Remember Wales, Scotland and No are close in their regs, it’s Johnson having the ‘power trip’ or whatever you mean by that. He’s the one out of step.
That said, you visiting your parents sounds like care of a vulnerable person - I wouldn’t take everyone else though.

[TabbyMumz]

"Spudley13

I live much further into Wales, in an area which has had a very low level of Coronavirus. If you turned up in my village I would be very angry. Sorry. Many people have made many difficult sacrifices for a long time to keep Corona out of Wales and are following the rules and waiting patiently for the restrictions to lift. Why is your family more important than mine? Why should your wishes (well meaning they may be) put people at risk? The Welsh message is still Stay Home. So stay home."

Spudley, I think things have moved on a bit, people have been going out more often in Wales for a few weeks now. Plus people have been moving round Wales and across to England for work and other reasons right from the beginning. You really can't put out the stay at home message now.

[Henio]

I don't think you'll have any issues coming here to see them

[Ohtherewearethen]

Definitely go to see your parents.

[Timetospare]

Go, send them my love, I can’t wait to make the same journey to see my mum too. Next weekend M4 here I come, whether I get fined or not, I know my mum won’t see many more summers, and if that makes you angry @spudley13 I really do not care.

[DMCWelshcakes]

@Spudley13

I totally appreciate that people have been making sacrifices. We've been at home since 16 March and didn't go anywhere at all for the first 7 weeks when we were all ill one after the other. Since then we've done food shopping and bought some plants. That's it. And it sucks.

I'm glad that your bit of Wales is untouched and I hope it stays that way. I know Cardiff already has the virus though as 3 of my parents friends have died of it in the last fortnight. And obviously my family is more important to me than your family who I've never met, but they're not more important to the world than yours.

I'm just confused because the message isn't "Stay Home" any more. It's "Say Alert". (Which I think is vacuous and vague, but that's a separate rant.)

[fairplay]

Another Welsh resident here, just wanted to echo what other posters have said - 5 miles is advisory. I'd go

[KaTetof19]

@Polkadotdelight thank you. I knew there was a reason for my confusion between 18th June (when they actually meet) and Friday (when they tell us stuff) but couldn't see the wood for the trees. I think lockdown might be killing off more brain cells than I hoped!

[PennyInMyPocket]

I'm just confused because the message isn't "Stay Home" any more. It's "Say Alert"

Not in Wales. The message here is still “Stay at Home”.

[TabbyMumz]

I think its moved on to "stay local", hasnt it?

[MaidenMotherCrone]

I'm conflicted on this one. I'm Welsh living in Wales and I'm a Covid Tester. I don't want anyone coming here at all but, and it's a huge BUT, your parents need you. I'd go alone if at all.

[AlohaMolly]

I’m conflicted too - I’m living in north wales and my mum is in the south of England. Her mum died in April, I haven’t seen her since Christmas and she’s 60 in July and I really think I won’t be seeing her this side of summer and I feel so bad.

PIL on the the other hand live 20 miles away on Anglesey and MIL has announced she’s coming over this weekend and perhaps we’ll go for a walk. I’m annoyed that she is going to break lockdown guidance when DP, DS4 and I have sacrificed a lot and stuck religiously to all guidance.

I don’t want people coming here, I don’t really want people breaking the five mile guidance either. Neither us or PIL are vulnerable and although over 70, they’re hardly frail and lonely so I don’t believe there’s any valid exception to the rule except MIL thinks she’s special.

[DMCWelshcakes]

I think I need an adultier adult to tell me what to do.

Or frankly no pandemic in the first place, even though I'm bloody loving the working from home and not doing my stupid commute.

I think the bits of the UK that aren't England have got a much better grip on things to be fair. But then I wouldn't trust Boris to look after an egg.

[Spudley13]

And do you know WHY we have a better grip on things? Because the lockdown isn't being lifted too quickly and people are staying at home!!