To wonder if something has been lost forever?

[Whatnext2018]

I live in another country which has opened nearly everything back up, people out on the streets again etc but face masks mandatory in restaurants/shops.
Effectively, you can, if you choose
to, live a relatively ‘Normal’ life again (aside from the masks) you can see friends, family, go to the beach, restaurants, shopping.
We took our Dd out this morning for a little bike ride, many many people out, I’m okay with that, we have to continue living..but it’s not the same..obviously it wouldn’t be, but its ‘Really’ not the same. I almost feel like I don’t want to be out (not through fear, just meh) but also don’t want to be stuck indoors.
I just hope this feeling that ‘Something’ is gone is only temporary.
Does anyone else feel like that?

[DuckALaurent]

@Whatnext2018

Yes I hate this ‘New normal’ term! The implication being it’s ‘Forever’

This has just been the oddest time for all of us and it must have affected so many psychologically in one way or another.
I’m feeling it’s taking the total joy out of life or actually wanting to live it for me at the moment but I need to keep positive, what a shitty time for everyone!

Agree OP

I don’t want a ‘new normal’. It feels like we’ve just accepted our fate. I just want normal.

[Bollss]

The roaring twenties happened after the Spanish flu and I am focusing on that.

[user1972548274]

Have you not had anyone you loved die before? Or had anything truly bad happen?

Because what you're describing are just the normal emotions of grief. They are survivable and will pass.

[vanillandhoney]

The world is always changing. Maybe all this will spark a positive change for society somehow.

No point pining for the past. It won't change the present or the future.

[NowImLivinInExeter]

I'm not sure why people are saying things will never be the same again. What things do you think are going to change as a result of this?

[Mintychoc1]

Yes it will go back to normal.

Months will go by and people will either not get CV or they’ll get it and recover, and gradually most of the population will relax and become complacent. Some may die as a result of that complacency, but the majority won’t, and will continue to live their lives as normal.

I think people will wash their hands a bit more than they used to, which is a good thing.

[DisorganisedOrganiser]

Now
Well for a start there is a huge economic crash so some businesses will not recover. Town centre shopping was already in decline and it will be very hard to recover from this.

Women will lose their jobs due to childcare and we may not get them back.

There is debate as to whether this will be used as an excuse to cut school hours so part time school or 4 day weeks become the norm. It is cheaper and ‘easier’ (not for the teachers or lecturers though!) for educational establishments to expect parents to give up their jobs to teach and expect university students not to care about a social life
deliver remote learning so that may become the norm.

Sports clubs will go out of business and will recover but it could take a generation.

People who struggle socially may never regain those social skills they have lost. Children may regain them so slowly their peers leave them behind.

There are huge backlogs now in cancer care so people will have lives lost or altered.

People’s houses that were flooded have not been repaired and even more damage might be done now.

Even if this is not permanent we could had two years of social distancing which, if you actually like other people, is fucking awful. I want to be able to go on a rare night out and have to push my way into a crowded pub, wait to be served and have to shout over the roar of conversation in a busy bar.

I could go in forever :(

Then once this is over we will have climate change which really could destroy lives. Houses will flood again. Etc.

I’m not saying that any of this is anyone’s fault or was avoidable but these are examples of why people are worried.

[Alsohuman]

The roaring twenties happened after the Spanish flu and I am focusing on that

Only for the wealthy. The only thing that roared in the 1920s for a vast swathe of the population was unemployment.

[almalm]

Honestly... things will get back to normal. It's just going to take quite a long time in the UK because the government fucked up getting into lockdown and are trying to come out of it in a very chaotic way. Perhaps they have a plan but because they are not sharing this clearly and giving people hope that there is a way out, many people are thinking things will never be the same again and it's going to go on forever etc.

I am in another country. We are out of lockdown. A couple of months I ago I thought things would change afterwards - perhaps a change for the better in some ways. But NO... we are pretty much back to normal. We still have to wear facemasks in enclosed public spaces but even they are getting ditched on Monday.
I was out today for a walk I've done many times over the year. There's a mountain restaurant along the way. There was no difference to previous years. People's behaviour was the same as previously. Social distancing seems to have gone out of the window. It's a self-service place and inside people had masks on while queuing to get their food.
Apart from that you wouldn't even know there had been a pandemic. Every table was full. The sun was shining. People were laughing and chatting as normal.
There's probably going to be a second wave and we might get locked down again but for the moment, for today, everything was the same as before.

[Institutkarite]

I'm in the same country as the op and I find the masks restrictive and uncomfortable when it's been really hot here.
Most of the restaurants we use have outside seating areas and you only have to wear the mask if you go into the restaurant. There are hand sanitisers everywhere and lots of the menus are now on QR codes or printed paper.
It's different but the absolute joy of being able to sit at a table, order food, have the food served and empty plates removed is fantastic.
We meet with friends at an outside bar,chat, drink and feel almost normal.
I'm in a town on the Algarve, not a tourist town though. We do have a castle and a Cathedral but not a beach.

[Judethe0bscure]

To wonder if something has been lost forever?

Have you looked down the back of the sofa?

[Institutkarite]

@Judethe0bscure

To wonder if something has been lost forever?

Have you looked down the back of the sofa?

🤣🤣

[EmeraldShamrock]

Yanbu. I'm still being cautious I'm more or less still living lock down no visitors, daily exercise, mask in the supermarket.
DP has worked through out with the public I still insist he strips at the door. I'm not sure if it fear or enjoying cocooning my feelings are conflicted about going back out into the world.

[wanderings]

Also the lack of protests about lockdown, and our own government criminalising the most normal of things: the way the public accepted it with barely a shred of resistance felt as though we've accepted our fate in one gulp. If there must be protests right now, why are none of them about this blatant removal of our freedom (apart from that really half-hearted protest a while ago?). If there is a protest for restoring our freedom, or getting children back to school, I'll be attending that.

I am quite glad the "clapping" appears to be done with now: that felt like a really sinister step into 1984, with "lots of things are forbidden now, but you can make as much noise as you like once a week at a fixed time".

[WoollyMollyMonkey]

The restaurants are open but you have to wear face masks? How the heck do you eat in a face mask? Bonkers.

[cyclingmad]

They have been consistently pushing the message that this is the new normal there is no going back to normal.
They are telling you to your face and people still want to believe things will be back to normal.

[lilgreen]

I went to a garden centre today. First time in as only been in supermarket and chemist during lockdown. It was open air but closed to customers, only collection of adults. I was disappointed so drove to another one only to find a huge snaking queue. I drove home. Don’t think I’ll bother with shops until a vaccine.

[YaWeeSkitter]

We have both been going out to work all through the lockdown so things are almost normal for us right now. Probably the only differences that affect us is the pubs not being open as we would often have a quick meal and drink after work to save cooking. And neither of us have been in a big supermarket since March as we have an Aldi and Lidl within walking distance. I will not queue for the opportunity to look round a shop at things I cant touch only to queue again to pay.
I wont be wearing a mask either as I wont be on public transport or in small shops. Its all too little too late anyway and to me is up there with those who wear gloves from the minute they leave the house , constantly touching their face and rubbing their eyes and think that the gloves make them immune to whatever nasties are sticking to the gloves.

[DisorganisedOrganiser]

Yep cycling .

[MaxNormal]

They have been consistently pushing the message that this is the new normal there is no going back to normal.

But why won't be go back to normal? At some point there will either be a vaccine, the virus will burn itself out or economically doing anything other than living alongside it will stop being feasible.
That makes no sense whatsoever.

[pinkhousesarebest]

I live in another European country. We have been back at school for three weeks, my husband's train/ tram is back on. We are going on holiday. There are traffic jams again on the way into town and we all saw the dentist this week.
In many ways, the impact of the last three months is quickly melting away. And with it all the hopefulness of change, and a change for the better. Our supermarket car park is littered with masks. Zara had a queue outside on the first day of openeing; people waited for two and a half hours to get in.
We are ahead of the UK, but it will come your way too. And if thre is a second wave, one can only hope that the governments will have used this as a trial run and be a lot more proactive.

[Jaxhog]

I just want normal.

There is no such thing as normal, as in an unchanging normal. The normal of today is different to the normal of ten years ago, and will be different to the normal of 10 years time. Nothing stays the same.

[bubbleup]

"Don’t think I’ll bother with shops until a vaccine."

You may have entered your very last shop then

[lilgreen]

I mean shops other than supermarkets, pharmacy etc, hardware. I queue because I need food or medicine etc but I’m not queueing to browse, I’ll just shop online. Though I’m not big into retail therapy anyway so can live without.

[Chipsahoy]

I agree with a pp. This is grief and trauma. It's normal, honestly.
I read somewhere that some trauma survivors are not finding this all that hard. As a multi trauma survivor, I agree. I've survived worse. I have lived through and then faced it later, much much worse. So for me, this doesn't feel anxiety inducing. I don't fear that things won't go back to normal.

I completely get why people feel that way, but honestly, it is a natural way to feel. You are grieving, in a sense and that is absolutely OK. Things will be normal again, maybe a new normal, but normal.