To think working from home and looking after//home schooling kids is unsustainable until sept!

[heh1]

Had enough. Dh and I both in pressured busy jobs. Dc in non returning year group

We are surviving by sticking them in front of screens all day when we are on con calls

Don't want to ask for furlough as then my colleagues without dcs or who have much older dcs will get my work ( client focussed sector) and I might be made redundant

Feel pretty rubbish..

House is a shit tip..
Dcs craving attention and largely ignored
Work carrying on like business as usual

Can't manage this until Sept

GPs too far away and in vulnerable category so can't help

[framboisier]

@nevertwerknaked ... me too!
Am totally ready to throw money at this problem, just not sure where to start.

My two are Y5 and Y8
I go to bed earliest in our house because I have to get up so early to try and even get a head start on my day. They, meanwhile, have adopted teen sleep patterns - bed later and later, up later and later

God alone knows what they are going to do in the actual school holidays

[Theromanempire]

lavender seriously?? I think we all fully understand why this is happening and are desperately trying to make it work but knowing the reasons does not make it suddenly be ok and allow us all to cope!

It is incredibly hard and I agree - the thought of this till September makes me want to cry! Not just for me but for my 2 DC who have had no face to face interaction with anyone apart from me, DH and their grandma (from a distance) for over 2 months

DC2 should have been back at school this week but the council decided to put the brakes on so he is stuck at home for at least another 3 weeks while we all struggle on.

[tilder]

That NZ study is not quoted properly in the article. Plus the NZ situation was not comparable to Covid.

I see it as insulting to teachers to suggest that missing months of education will not affect attainment.

[LaurieMarlow]

OP, you’re definitely not wrong.

Everyone I know doing this is close to breaking point.

Basically no one gives a shit. It’s appalling.

[Writerandreader]

I've arranged paid for childcare now. Childminder or nanny. All available. By summer I think there will be holiday clubs if virus still staying low.

[LaurieMarlow]

Childminder or nanny. All available.

There is absolutely nothing in my area and his knows I’ve tried.

[Oysterbabe]

DH and I both WFH. Kids are 2 and 4 and we're at breaking point. I properly shouted at the 4 year old today, who was behaving so badly, more than likely for attention. That just isn't what our family is normally like. She didn't give a shit and just behaved even worse. Their nursery has decided not to open until early July and I literally cried when they said they weren't opening 1st June. I was tempted to move them to one of the open nurseries but I wouldn't be able to have settling in sessions so I'd just been waving them off at the door into a building full of strangers and can't bring myself to do that.
Anyway, it's shit is what I'm saying.

[Xenia]

I am afraid people will have to arrnage paid childcare. Whether they could recover the cost of that from the state or a particualr school which is refusing to educate their children is another matter. May be parents shelling out all this money probably needlessly could bring a group action for their massive massive costs.

I do not agree there are no daily nannies. There are 2 m unemployed. We have always been able to find a daily nanny or sixth former or something to help. Just advertise in the local paper or some other way or ask around amongst friends. There are literally thousands of students remember who are not at university and are free until Sept who are not in work and cannot travel for a start. as both parents will be in the house too and this is a national emergency it is pretty safe as you can check on them every hour as you are both on hand.

[Lalallama]

I feel as though all I'm doing is telling DS to go away as I need to work. DD is much better at entertaining herself but that means unless I hear from her I basically ignore her all day. The guilt is just horrible, they're probably going to end up with self confidence issues because their parents don't have any time for them.

[Feellikedancingyeah]

I can only imagine what it will be like in September after months of messed up sleep patterns, no socialisation and screen reliance

[Theromanempire]

I agree that there is a total lack of attention or concern that this is putting on families...nobody gives a shit and we are expected to suck it up (as a few posters on here have stated). Employers are also just expected to accommodate the situation indefinitely aswell but there will be a lot of battles ahead when companies need/want their employees back in but no childcare is available.

Also, what happens to the furloughed employees when their companies have to start paying but still no childcare available?

[LaurieMarlow]

xenia bear in mind that not everyone is in London.

As for students, it may well come to that, but no experience, no qualifications, no DBS isn’t a great starting point.

[BovvyDazz]

100% agree! There are not many working days that I’m not tearful over neglecting either children or work; roles I’d previously carefully juggled and managed and taken pride in. And the house... it just looks like a bombsite at the end of each day.

We are having wonderful times too at the weekends and in this beautiful weather... but it’s it’s the mental load of doing a poor job at work, and feeling solely responsible (with DH) for our child’s education, socialization.

It irks that the rules have changed in my council so that only one keyworker parent now needed; so there are pupils where one parent is on furlough, but they get a school place.

Whilst the rest gets online work links once a week.

I’m not sure I can cope till September either!! I’ll be looking for private tutors, sports clubs, holiday clubs... all of which are probably less able to socially distanced in one ‘bubble’ than school could.

[Gemma2019]

What were your plans for the summer holidays OP? Could you extend whatever childcare you planned for then?

But yeah it's incredibly shit. I've nearly run out of annual leave already and it's only June.

[BeanCalledPickle]

I’m fairly certain this will be the case from September as well. I think the model is to have part time school, work to take home and then discuss on return. I know that ofsted will be inspecting schools remote learning offering from September. Which suggests it will continue. I just despair. I will throw money at it as far as possible....

[resskiestonight]

People don’t understand the stress of working full time with primary school ages kids. Neither do they seem to understand how much some children are suffering. Everyone I know in same boat With 2 FT parents is at breaking point and greatly concerned about their kids’ mental health. My 7 year old feels utterly neglected. Children and the world just need to to get back on with life. We can’t hide at home forever.

[MindyStClaire]

What were your plans for the summer holidays OP? Could you extend whatever childcare you planned for then?

There is no childcare. No summer schemes, no grandparents, parents often cover some of the time with annual leave and there isn't enough of that.

[Meanameicallmyself20]

I agree that this will continue in September too, although I imagine we will go part time in some way.
I’m SAHM at the moment and DH is WFH but even just the homeschooling plus DH long hours is enough to drive me to drink. 3 kids, one with SEN, youngest is a toddler and a complete whirlwind of defiance. 😱

[MrsBlondie]

I've found my people. Today my DD (age 7) and me were both in tears. She is becoming unmotivated and all I get out of her is 30 mins a day.
14 year old son unmotivated too. School seem to think worksheets is fine. No help.
Too much screen time for both as I work and my husband works.
If part time school from September we are screwed as I'll be in the office and my husband wfh but 8-9 hour days with no time to help kids with work.
Noone seems to be saying this is totally unsustainable and completely unacceptable for working parents. Our kids are being thrown under a bus and missing education and noone gives a shit.

[mermaidparadise]

Yep I am a teacher and it's not sustainable for us...I'm going to give up work (handing in my notice soon. My dh works away quite a bit and We don't have room in our budget for extra childcare costs so it actually makes more sense for me to give up work and be home until all this blows over.

[soupmaker]

@GoldenOmber I could have written your post. I'm sorry to say it's a relief to find my herd. I'm utterly exhausted. We're in Scotland too and had a letter from the council today about what a return in August might look like. How the hell we're going to manage "blended learning" while working is beyond me. DH been working 5 days a week out the house since lockdown but I'm not a key worker so kids can't go to school. Have a 12 year old who is doing okay, minimum effort but at least doing some school, and 6 year old who is now constantly in meltdown because I'm working at home in a job which is really pressured, have no capacity to entertain her let alone home school, and she's basically feral. She cried at bedtime tonight because she wants to go to school and "hates the virus". I'm having to ignore all the social media "loving home schooling" posts. Only silver lining is DD2 can now ride her bike. Apart from that it's all shite.

[heh1]

Thanks for all the replies.. it is at least reassuring to feel like it's not just me!

We might look at childcare/nanny if it gets really bad but it's just more cash that we can ill afford. We have jobs that pay ok but not amazingingly well.

I do feel like the government have not acknowledged how hard this is, particularly for working mums. DH does try but is on calls all day. I'm a bit more in control of my diary but still subject to client demands and primary childcare/ feeding/ interruptions is inevitably down to me.

I think the government should have thought about some subsidised childcare options for working parents or at least some employment protection for those trying to work and look after kids ( or those who have requested furlough because it simply isn't possible)

There is no way I can compete with my colleagues without kids who are now even more productive due to their lack of commute and loads of time. My bosses either have no kids, or older kids with stay at home wives or nannies. Also their school age kids are in full time online lessons still because they are in private school! I think this is creating a divided workforce.. those who are still working with childcare responsibilities and those without who can really shine in this situation and also those furloughed who can have more time with dc and those doing the work of the furloughed plus their own work. There is no good outcome ..

What pisses me off the most is that my boss hasn't even acknowledged it or asked me how I am.. it's all about productivity which incidentally I am doing fine at but it's to the detriment of everything else...

[resskiestonight]

Surely they have to get kids back to school full time in sep?! Are they really going to write off kids’ education for that long. I can’t keep this up. Are we thinking holiday clubs will be closed all summer too?

[ballsdeep]

It's hard. It's.really hard. Id be very surprised if schools went back full time in September. In Wales they've said about splitting a class of 30 into 4!