AIBU to think it's not a break...

[MadLad]

I work full time and I'm doing a full time Masters' degree. My Masters' dissertation was due last week and my exams start on Monday. I have a son who is approaching one year old. My husband usually works full time but, as a teacher, he's been told to stay at home and do no work on full pay. I just lost it with him - I want to know if I'm being unreasonable.
About a ten days ago, I had been working on my dissertation and then needed to express breastmilk. I stopped doing my dissertation to express, my husband had been watching our son. He came in and said he needed to go to the Post Office and did I want to go to get some time out of the house (as he's been doing our weekly food shop). I said I was busy and he responded "ok, well, can you watch DS if you want to continue taking a break?". I explained rather bluntly that expressing breastmilk is not "taking a break".
Today, I've been trying to study all day but my husband has been doing everything except what needs to happen. I've had to be jumping up every three seconds to stop the dog stealing things or stop our son putting his hands in the dog bowls, or to "just help him for a second" or "just check this link" or "just help me write this email". Just now, he was supposed to be watching our son whilst I studied for my exam on Monday. My son kept coming over to me and rubbing his dirty hands on my textbook just being a toddler - he ripped a page in my textbook. I stopped studying and started to express milk. Then my son kept coming up and tugging on all the tubes and turning it off (it's a touch screen so easy to turn off or change settings). I then snapped at my husband why he isn't watching our son and he responds that he "needed" to check his email. He doesn't NEED to check his email - he has literally no commitments outside of this house at the moment. So I told him that what he needs to be doing is watching our son and I can't understand why he thinks that everything needs to happen more than me needing to study and why my Masters' is less important than literally everything he can think of to do. He responds with "you're not even studying right now, you're taking a break". I then shouted at him, which I know I shouldn't have done, and told him to stop thinking expressing milk is "a break" and to not ask for my help for the rest of the day. His job right now is to look after our son whilst I'm working and that should be his focus.
AIBU?

[Dee1975]

Sounds like to me you have a lot on your plate, and your husband doesn’t.
You are not being unreasonable. But maybe more sensitive than normal. (I would be!). That’s not a criticism. Your husband needs to be more aware of your pressures right now and think before he speaks!
Sounds like you are doing an amazing job working and studying and raising your son. Be proud of your achievements and ignore your husband’s insensitive remarks ...

[Sindragosan]

While you do have a lot on your plate, lockdown is getting to everyone, and looking after a child when you can go to play group, the park, soft play etc is different from being stuck in the house with them.

Yes, your husband needs to make sure you can study, but he also needs a break from the small child.

You both need to talk properly and arrange a schedule, and ideally separate out working and play areas.

[billy1966]

OP,
You are juggling a huge amount.

I'm afraid he doesn't sound like an amazing father or husband if he can't understand that you need some peace.

I would suggest he knows well that you need peace and quiet to work but he actually just doesn't want to look after his son and that is why this is happening.

Really not amazing at all.

I think you will have to spell it out very clearly and firmly to him.

Best of luck.

[SetPhasersTaeMalkie]

@C8H10N4O2

as a teacher, he's been told to stay at home and do no work on full pay

Crikey he must be the only teacher in the country who has been told this.

😂Absolutely.

A very strange and sad story. However, on another note, I want a job in her husband's school.

[AlpacaGoodnight]

It sounds like you are in a very lucky situation with your husband at the moment, he just needs to get it into his head he needs to let you get on with it!