The key to it for me has been taking it all off my shoulders. Everyone who lives in the house shares responsibility for keeping it tidy, yes even if they're a child or out at work all day.
It's a case of adjusting the level according to ability, eg I wouldn't ask my ds to do too much because I want him to be a carefree child, but I think it's reasonable that he tidies away his toys at the end of the day (has taken bin bag threats, but they worked!) and he can throw his washing downstairs and attempt to make his bed. I can then tidy/clean his room much more quickly and easily.
My DH does alot because we both now work each day and although I'm in earlier than him, I cook and sort out ds' stuff from the school day so he wouldn't expect me to clean aswell. However even a DH who is out of the house all hours can help by washing up what they use, taking charge of getting their clothes to the washing, putting away their own washed clothes.
I seperate washing into piles for me, DH and DS and we take up and put away our own. (well ds attempts and I help but I'm TRAINING him to get there asap on his own!).
I also buy loo wipes and have FIRMLY instructed DH that a few times a week he can wipe round in the bathroom - we both do it, so it stays looking ok. It takes seconds, really.
This might sound odd, but in the kitchen DH and I wipe up and put away together at the end of the evening and it's actually quite a nice time, we find we chat over doing that more than we do during the evening! And it has the effect of getting the kitchen clear each evening ready for the next onslaught. Five or ten minutes chatting in the kitchen should be possible even if you've worked very late specially when it's a good time to chat?
It's surprising how little things like that can save alot of time and make you feel more on top of the house.