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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that my dds school has been giving out certificates to children who bring in healthy packed lunches?

367 replies

spudmasher · 19/09/2007 21:26

Today she took in a ham roll, four cherry tomatoes, a few slices of cucumber, some fresh pineapple and a small apple pie.

She was not given a certificate because she had the apple pie in her lunch!

When I was making her lunch tonight she asked me not to put a little cake in because it was unhealthy and she would not get a certificate.

I thought it was unreasonable to reward a child, or deny a reward on the basis of decisions made by the parent.

I also feel that six is too young an age to bear the responsbility of deciding what they should eat. Surely the child should be carefree and just trust the parents to know what is healthy?

I also thought that a little fat and sugar occassionally, will not be harmful to a child.

I also felt that they are encouraging children to deny themselves small pleasures - could lead to eating disorders imo.

Thanks. Feel better now.

Am I over reacting?

Have sent snotty e mail to school........

OP posts:
LittleBella · 19/09/2007 23:08

LOL, I bet she was a mumsnetter.

No-one else in the world realises how much judgement goes on about lunchboxes! (Except Linford Christie of course, but I digress...)

iliketosleep · 20/09/2007 07:24

I kind of have this problem at dd's and ds's school.

In sandwiches you HAVE to give them pure fruit juice to drink, loads of fruit, sandwiches made from wholemeal bread....healthy tasteless crap!

But yet for a school dinner they give them pizza,chips, milkshake, cake and custard!

In my lots lunchbox i give them sandwiches (white bread) a chocolate bar a packet of crisps and a flask of squash JUST to spite the school.

They do not need to have fruit in their lunchboxes as the school give them fruit throughout the day, and as they do not know what they have for breakfast and tea they cannot preach that they arent getting their "5 portions of fruit and veg a day"

We also had a letter for dd1 that says "junior children can bring a snack for morning play, they can bring dried or fresh fruit as long as its not in packets"

so not a snack then, fruit!! and how the bloody hell can you send dried fruit in NOT in a packet? do i give my dd a handful of raisins to put in her pocket? makes me so

bloody jamie oliver!!!

LucyJones · 20/09/2007 07:32

"In my lots lunchbox i give them sandwiches (white bread) a chocolate bar a packet of crisps and a flask of squash JUST to spite the school. 2 strange logic there, don't think I'd use my dc's diet to prove a point tbh

ScummyMummy · 20/09/2007 07:46

"I thought it was unreasonable to reward a child, or deny a reward on the basis of decisions made by the parent."

Agree agree agree agree agree agree x a zillion. Really agree. I'm all for healthy lunch boxes, what's not to like? But life is unfair enough already without people being directly rewarded or penalised on the basis of parental decisions/time/knowledge/ability to cook/money etc. An extra layer of social unfairness imposed on the youngest members of our society, giving them the message that the way they are viewed is almost entirely outwith the sphere of their own influence. How utterly crap.

Oh, and your daughter's lunch sounds very tasty to me, spudmasher.

OrmIrian · 20/09/2007 07:52

Too extreme! Yes yes yes we all know that some kids are brought up on nothing but e-numbers, salt and saturated fat but that doesn't mean that those who aren't, are never allowed anything slightly unhealthy (for want of a better word).

Give her a box full of raw veg, boiled lentils and wheat juice and then see what the school says when she eats nothing.

Silly!

iliketosleep · 20/09/2007 07:53

yup, thats what i was given when i was at school and it did me no harm.

I am not in the position to go and buy organic this that and the other so i buy what i can afford to.

They have healthy breakfasts and healthy evening meals containing fruit and veg so is it going to hurt them?

like i say the school give them fruit throughout the day so why do they need more?

whats wrong with white bread a penguin and a packet of crisps?

Theclosetpagan · 20/09/2007 07:54

Jamie Oliver did a good job - the crap school meals consisted of was utterly shocking.

I agree with the OP though - her childs lunchbox was fine - plenty of fruit and veg plus an apple pie as a treat - what's wrong with that? I think the school have been over-zealous in their approach.

TBH I find it more unreasonable that when schools HAVE made an effort to put in healthy meals that some parents feed their kids fish and chips through the school railings. Now that is unreasonable.

iliketosleep · 20/09/2007 07:56

oh and robinsons no added sugar orange squash.

What i meant was i give them what i think is ok for them to have to spite them, not i feed my kids unhealthy food just to spite them

If i went and brought everything they wanted for 3 kids for 5 days a week i would be perminently skint

juuule · 20/09/2007 08:02

No it isn't. It's about choice. Children are at school to be educated. Teach them about nutrition so that at some point they will make balanced choices for themselves. Put nutrition classes on for parents. Food is food. Too much of anything is bad for you.

RubberDuck · 20/09/2007 08:04

Actually, what I hate most about schools/government stance is that it's all so bloody JOYLESS.

We should be encouraging our kids to ENJOY fresh foods in a balanced diet and that includes a full fat cheesecake with a smothering of fresh strawberries on the top. Look in any magazine at the moment in the food section - Superfoods, foods to make you smarter, low calorie, low carbs... what about food because it's TASTY. It gets to the point that we only enjoy food that we secretly eat with guilty pleasure... now THAT is unhealthy - the attitude, not the food.

Actually, the body is quite good at self-regulating if we let it. If I don't eat fresh vegetables or fruit for a while (for example, while camping) ... I CRAVE for a crisp salad. We have a no added salt diet with very little processed foods, but every now and then I CRAVE something salty like a packet of crisps and I don't deny myself that. I like sweets, but I know if I eat too much I feel sick and my teeth feel scummy... so you know what ... I can eat some... then STOP when I've had enough

The same thing happens with exercise - you MUST have an hour's exercise a day by decree of government or you'll be OBESE! What about doing exercise or participating in sport because it's FUN?!

All this hair-shirtism makes my blood boil and in my opinion is far more damaging long-term than a bit of white bread, a pizza or a piece of apple pie now and then.

RubberDuck · 20/09/2007 08:07

"Food is food" but that's exactly the message kids are NOT getting. If they're getting calorie obsessed before the age of 10, that is extremely worrying.

Food is fuel but food is fun. Without any, we'd be pretty stuffed.

juuule · 20/09/2007 08:08

Totally agree Rubberduck

ScummyMummy · 20/09/2007 08:11

Good post, rubberduck.

CaptainFlameSparrowWifeOfJack · 20/09/2007 08:14

The certificate - wrong wrong wrong.

The apple pie - if the school has a no cakes rule then I can see why it was wrong. I know the schools are going about it the wrong way, but they are trying, and the banning cakes isn't about punishing the ones with a balanced diet, it is about stopping the ones who have ONLY cakes.

Mine is still half days, so I am not really justified to comment as I don't know the full lunchbox set up with her school. She has food reaction issues anyway so needs to be very healthy or she'll be in trouble for behaviour that she can't controll I am lucky - her school has an outstanding hot school meals set up which I trust completely so I may just opt for that from laziness.

I have noticed that some people (not people on this thread, I dunno about them!!) though are ranting about schools "banning" x,y,z when what they have actually done is sent home a "good/bad foods" list (this is senior school btw, so of an age where it can be handy to learn that a diet of pure chocolate might not be wise) - they have not said "You cannot have" they have just said "This is crap food". The parents then go off ranting about the lunch police taking away all their rights and power, when in fact they just haven't read the bloody leaflet properly before going off all wrong. (Sorry, that has been a gripe for a few weeks, a fairly irrelevant one but I needed to get it out)

juuule · 20/09/2007 08:16

But.. a diet purely of fruit isn't good either. However, I'm sure fruit would be on the 'good' list.

RubberDuck · 20/09/2007 08:18

Oh gawd, I remember when ds1 just ate fruit one day as a young toddler. Now those nappies were evil

CaptainFlameSparrowWifeOfJack · 20/09/2007 08:19

When have these lists ever said "Only eat one food from the good list"?! It is about mixing.

I don't see how stopping cakes and chocolates during one meal a day is going to stop children getting essential fats overall. DD tends not to have cake much because I don't make them and I can't afford them in the basic shopping, she doesn't have chocolate because I can't be doing with the mess that DS makes with the stuff. She is clearly not missing in any fats - perfectly healthy, not skinny by any stretch of the imagination.

juuule · 20/09/2007 08:21

Flame I was responding to this in your post "this is senior school btw, so of an age where it can be handy to learn that a diet of pure chocolate might not be wise)"

CaptainFlameSparrowWifeOfJack · 20/09/2007 08:26

Good point

CaptainFlameSparrowWifeOfJack · 20/09/2007 08:27

I was being a tad flippant with the chocolate diet.

OrmIrian · 20/09/2007 08:30

On a vaguely related subject (ie fruit did anyone see the things on BBC1 about smoothies being so full of sugar and damaging teeth? I did feel a bit sorry for the people from Innocent who must have felt a bit beleagured but it was quite amusing too. The blanket assumption that fruit is always a good thing in huuge quantities, when actually it's full of sugar. And I've not met many kids who refuse to eat fruit - ime that isn't a problem so the reason for giving them Smoothies (ie it gets fruit into them) seems a bit dubious. If they could make Smoothies out of spinach and ruby chard I'd be more of a fan.

Anyhoo... what I'm trying to say is that the blanket assumption that any given food always a good thing in huuge quantities is wrong. Ditto that any quantity of apple pie or crisps for example is always a bad thing. The idea that there are bad foods and good foods is wrong too. There is such a thing as a bad diet and a good diet but that isn't the same thing.

Flamesparrow · 20/09/2007 08:34

The problem is that we are intelligent women. Not everyone is though - there ARE the parents who think that a lunchbox consisting of a cocopops cereal bar, a kitkat and a chocolate muffin is a good varied diet. It is those that they are trying to educate.

Unfortunately the only way to get the message across to them seems to be this heavy handed approach which riles the intelligent parents.

Oenophile · 20/09/2007 08:51

I think it's totally wrong. I happened on a primary shcool's parents' forum a few months ago day and read with open mouth an upset mother's comment that her DC had not been allowed to eat the home-made cake she sent in his lunchbox. The DC had of course been very upset - not just because he couldn't eat the cake - but because it was mortified that mum's food had been judged too 'bad' to let him eat it.

I know they are trying to do the right thing these days and having run a playgroup myself, I know how sad it makes you feel to see lunchboxes filled with cheap nasty crap going into those bright little faces every day. But this kind of thing does make one feel very patronised.

BandofMothers · 20/09/2007 09:00

I knew a woman who ate loads of fruit for snacks whilst pg and was told to stop by her doc cos she would give her self gestational diabetes. Just backing up the everything in moderation theory.

Also I never buy sugar free squash cos all the shite they put in it to make up for it is even worse for you than the sugar.

harpsichordcarrier · 20/09/2007 09:02

"actually white flour, which is mostly used to produce applepies, is like putting pure sugar in your system"
no, it really really isn't.