I am disgusting!

[IAmLarge]

This isn't an AIBU but people seem to get more responses here!

I am extreamly obese. I'm 5 ft2 and weigh nearly 14 stone. I'm so upset every time I look at myself and absolutely hate myself. My body is covered in stretch marks from having a baby nearly 3 years ago and I know that these are here to stay. It's not as though I'm fat because I've been pregnant...It's because I'm greedy, lazy and have no motivation or will power what so ever!

Please can someone give me a bloody good talking to before I ruin my body and my health forever. My OH isnt that supportive of me loosing weight (not in a horrible way but I think he has heard it all before and knows I'll give up, plus he doesn't mind what size I am so even if I lost loads of weight or stayed the same it wouldn't bother him)

I just need a bloody good kick up the arse! Anyone willing to do that for me 🤔

Thanks!

[Healthyandhappy]

Ask gp for diet tablets also join slimming world. Make sure u get a diary write breakfast dinner tea and count syns never stop counting. U will prob lose half a stone first week

[clarepetal]

I don't think your disgusting at all. You grew a baby, your body is amazing

[Peterrabbitcandoone]

Not sure if anyone else has suggested but have a read of the book bright line eating which has some very interesting things in it and could explain why you can eat and what chocolate and not get full or sick of it. Good luck xx

[NotNowPlzz]

It's not emotionally manipulative, it's true that OPs use of words was hurtful to others as well as herself, even though that wasn't her intention.

[Inthepurplerain]

No advice but I’m the same height as you and weigh a little more.
I feel absolutely disgusting too!

[MikeUniformMike]

You will need to embrace the feeling of being hungry.

[managedmis]

Chocolate and pasta are my biggest weaknesses.

Don't have it in the house.

Low carb, high fat will work for you. We'll see you at the next Bootcamp!

[EmeraldShamrock]

I read a similar thread, lots of advice and suggestions here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3907974-To-ask-you-to-be-brutally-honest-with-me

[purplepentagram]

I’m 5ft 5. About 17st. I eat next to nothing due to auto immune issues where I have a reaction to practically everything. To where I hate food.
I don’t eat enough to count calories and my portion size is the same as my kids.
I have no appetite and can quite happily go days on just cups of coffee.
Iv tried numerous diets, even joined a gym - ended up where I was collapsing and crashing every time.
No matter what I do, I can not seem to lose weight. Even the docs have looked into it. - still none the wiser.

[HotSauceCommittee]

Maybe try a psychological approach and be a bit more sympathetic to yourself?
Ok, you might eat too much, but that doesn’t make you disgusting. You sound nice.
I have a few stone myself to lose, so I Going to re-read “Eating Less- Say Goodbye to Overeating” by Gillian Riley. It’s good and unlocks why you might be eating too much and how to handle it.
Hang in there. Whatever you weigh, you are worth it and will get there x

[Vodkacranberryplease]

Well I think, like me, that you are using food as a drug. Because it fucking works. That sugar and fat combo, the carbs, you do feel better after. I would love to tell you how to stop but I can't. Though realising after reading an article yesterday about the dopamine hit I'm getting off the shit food I've been inhaling has made me stop. For now.

Dieting sucks and the mental reward from bad food is high. But so is the price. Sometimes disgust and anger and just finally having enough is what motivates us to change. Some people are motivated by a time in the future where they will look how they want (not me). Sometimes it's about convincing your brain that those foods are revolting and vile. Sometimes it's about being accountable in a group/in public.

What NEVER works is 'willpower'. 'Moving more eating less' (read 10% Human if you don't believe me). Or any of the other platitudes trotted out by people who aren't fat or don't care if they are.

If you want to lose a significant amount of weight quickly rather than dieting all week just to lose half a pound which you then put on the week after because you had biscuits you have to go hard core. 1000-1200 calories. For me eating the same food day after day works. I don't have to get involved with it.

A tiny amount of carbs (a couple or ryvitas or breadsticks) Caffeine. Apples. Lemon juice in almost 2 litres of water (with sweetener). Then small portions of lean steak, eggs, chicken or fish. Salad or veges. Low fat cottage cheese.

Then if you need to drink red wine or vodka/gin with slimline tonic. White wine and rose will make you eat everything in sight.

Set it and forget about it. Weight yourself regularly (Any day you can get yo 500 cals you'll lose a pound. So worth it!). And don't fucking listen to anyone who bangs on about 'everything you like in moderation'. Some people arent built that way, some situations don't allow for it (stress etc) and that only works when you are already slim, you won't lose weight that way.

Thanks for this thread, I'm like you. Getting close to 13 stone and so pissed off. Apart from anything I can't afford to buy a whole new set of clothing! And soon enough we will be out of lockdown and I will just feel even more humiliated and pissed off. So that's it. Time to sort this out.

Oh and yoga! The only exercise that won't make you starving hungry and in fact might make you less hungry!!! It will certainly take the edge of the feelings that caused you to get this way. Good luck xxx

[OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow]

Well that doesn't sound healthy at all. Including the attitude to food

[Vodkacranberryplease]

By the way thanks to all the other posters on here there's some great suggestions! Bright lines? Will look it up! Lentils rock too.

[OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow]

Yeah I would warn against listening to Vodka since she was recommending injecting something she buys online from abroad on another thread.

Vodka, you need help and not a diet one

[Teacher2019]

I'm very lazy when it comes to exercise.

I was 65kg after birth and wanted to return back to 50kg.

I just cut out the junk. Kept meals small.

I'm now 54kg and determined to get to my 50!

[Crazzzycat]

Having lost a significant amount in the past, I think the key is actually not to kick yourself up the arse in a whirlwind of self-hatred.

You have to be a bit kinder to yourself. Accept where you are now. Yes you’re overweight, but that does not make you disgusting, or some kind of failure

We all have our reasons for why we let ourselves go a bit. None of that really matters. What does matter is what you’re going to do about it going forward

Be kind to yourself. Self-hatred rarely motivates anyone to change anything in the long term.

[handbagsatdawn33]

Think of the health benefits of losing some weight.

You know that obesity is a contributory factor to many health conditions, & also hinders recovery.

Kick up the arse - do you want to be around to see your child grow up?

[Yoyoallovertheshow]

Could you try something like couch to 5k? I started it a few weeks ago, and although i'm not as heavy, i'm still quite unfit.

It starts off really slowly and the build up is gradual, i feel better in my overall health and have noticed changes to my body.

I find once i start seeing changes, it spurs me on to keep goin.

[randomer]

Kick up the arse - do you want to be around to see your child grow up?

I don't think OP is going to die because she has a bit of a tummy.

[zscaler]

You aren’t disgusting, OP

[CHIRIBAYA]

Get some help please. There are underlying issues driving your comfort eating. You are so much more than your weight. It's not a kick up the arse you need but some compassion and understanding from you for you.

[EmeraldShamrock]

I don't think OP is going to die because she has a bit of a tummy
Taking OPs height into consideration she is probably 6 stone over weight, depending on her age, if she is young she has a small window for change otherwise without change every year she will get bigger and will develop bone issues which rule out exercise in the future. That is when there is little or no hope.
Sorry OP.

[IThinkImBSCrazy]

I agree, you’ll do it when/if your ready. My father is extremely obese. He weighs 30 stone. It breaks my heart that I doubt he will be around when my son starts school in 4 years. I hope that thought motivates him. Maybe think about the time your going to lose with your family

[MikeUniformMike]

@IAmLarge, Your best bet is to forget the idea of dieting - adopt better habits instead.

Try to base your meals around vegetables and protein. Instead of pasta in a sauce, have something like lots of veg or salad with egg or chicken.

Instead of cereal and toast for breakfast have porridge or a cooked breakfast.

Stop eating takeaways and cakes and biscuits, if you eat them. If you know you will eat a whole bar of chocolate in one sitting, buy a smaller bar with a higher cocoa content.

Give yourself smaller portions. Use a smaller plate or use a bowl. Eat slowly and stop before you feel full.

I would recommend you avoid the following:
Pasta, rice, noodles, crips, cereal, cakes, bread, biscuits, cereal bars.
They affect your blood sugar and make you crave more.
Look into GI and how it affects you.
You can have them occasionally, have them as treats not as staples.

Consider not eating after say 4 pm or 6 pm. You get used to it. If you have eaten a good balanced lunch you'll be ok. You will be ravenous in the morning.

You are not disgusting, you are just a little bit too heavy.

I am not a dietitian, but I know that late night eating makes me pile on the pounds.

[Batqueen]

Something that helps for chocolate cravings if you are a fan of milk chocolate.

Buy dark chocolate - particularly if you don’t like it!

Then if you have a craving that won’t go away then eat some - it takes away the craving but you won’t eat much.