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AIBU?

To ask if you harbour secret fantasies about getting revenge on your nightmare next-door neighbours? ***light-hearted***

56 replies

swampusdonkus · 15/05/2020 15:05

Ok, so we live in a semi and are joined on to the most inconsiderate, arsehole neighbours who display a catalogue of antisocial and prickish behaviours. They think it is ok to:

  • have loud, sweary hot tub parties all year round, at all times of day and night. Lots of pissed-up cackling, swearing etc - knowing we have very young dc a few feet away in the next garden. They also have dc, mostly tweens and young teens.

  • park right up against our gate post knowing we don't have a car that floats or magically rotates 360 degrees, meaning we have to do 56 manoeuvres to get out of our drive.

  • have an untrained idiot dog (not its' fault) that barks constantly if you so much as cough in our garden, and then hurls itself against our shared fence growling and barking, scaring our dc.

  • do a half-arsed job of replacing the fence panels that divide our gardens that blew down last Winter so that they had to do another half-arsed job of replacing them last month. Only this time they came into our garden without asking or telling us, pulled dc's swing over, which was 'bolted' into the grass, left it lying on its side, and leaving a fuck off slab of concrete foundation on OUR side of the 6' fence which we can't bloody move.

  • to blast Wonderwall (ironic, no?) at full blast day and night. When we ask if they can turn it down a bit they just yell loudly "it's not fucking loud."

    There are other examples, but you get the picture.

    We have tried reasoning with them; we are all adults and it is preferable to co-exist in relative harmony with your neighbours rather than feel constant tension, but they are just so bloody self-centred and inconsiderate. And they refuse to engage; their stock answer to any polite requests is "it's our house, we can do what the fuck we like." The dh even has a twattish clap, as evidenced every Thursday - you know the type that says "I man, I clap loud, I make big echo with big alpha male shovel hands"? But I digress slightly.

    TBF it could be a lot worse, but it is the constant low-ish level every-single-day prickishness that is wearying. I have in the past argued with them through the wonky fence but we decided to just ignore them as best we can, to go out and enjoy our garden as and when we want and just block them out. They might revel in annoying us but they fail to realise, or don't care, that they are also fucking off the other 7 or so households in the vicinity.

    So AIBU in asking if you harbour secret fantasies about getting revenge on your nightmare next door neighbours? My current favourite fantasy is lobbing a plugged in toaster over the fence, perfectly aimed so it lands in their hot tub during one of their 'parties'. N.B. I am NOT condoning or encouraging the mixing of electrical goods and water in any way, or inciting actual violent behaviour. This is purely comic book fantasy level stuff.

    Also, we rent and will be moving out in three months so wevenge will soon be ours, yay.

    YABU - no, I harbour no such secret revenge fantasies against my nightmare next-door neighbours, instead I ...

    YANBU - yes, I have such revenge fantasies about my nightmare neighbours, an example being ...
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Am I being unreasonable?

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OnceUponAMidnightBeery · 15/05/2020 21:09

OP, watch the Murder in Mind episode ‘Neighbours’ if you can. disclaims all responsibility for possible ideas suggested by said episode

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Millettmum · 15/05/2020 21:42

I will be getting revenge soon when baby is born and crying all the time ha.

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CountryPlumpkin · 15/05/2020 22:06

There is hope, karma is a bitch sometimes.

I lived upstairs from a horrendous aggressive South African man who told me he would set fire to my flat if I didn’t stop making so much noise (in my slippers, tip toeing round my sitting room with the tv on mute) The week after I moved out, I happened to drive past and saw a massive bearded grease monkey revving his bike engine on the front garden and tinkering with spanners etc while swigging from a can of Stella. Twatty neighbour was peeping out of his front window with a cats bum mouth. Didn’t think he’d be threatening his new neighbour ...Grin

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Murrfect · 15/05/2020 22:21

After years of parties, hot tubs, constant building work that they go on long holidays to avoid, leaving me with a devastated garden n workmen staring at me through my patio doors before breakfast I’m finely free and planning to rent out my poor little house

I’ve already said I’m ok with pets and UTC but also I think it would be perfect for sharers in their early twenties..... stoners with a love of dance music are who I’m actively looking for

Yes! Woohoo! I can not wait!!!

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Brigante9 · 15/05/2020 22:21

I’ve told this story on here before. We bought our first little flat, upstairs lived what we thought was a nice couple, bit noisy but you know, live and let live. Then the bloke lost his job, apparently through drink/drive offences, not handy, what him being a windscreen replacement person. Noise increased.

One night, I knocked to ask if they would mind turning down the music. Got a punch in my face for my trouble, cops were called, he said I’d broken open his outward opening door (how?! He’d been opening it with a screwdriver for weeks having already broken it)

There followed a year of him turning up the music so loud it was just distorted noise 7pm-7am, every night, along with occasionally flinging his girlfriend against every wall/piece of furniture in the place. Eventually, the lovely neighbours who’d lived next door forever, brought up their dc etc, moved out. 😢

Then my dh decided to join the police. When the postcard acknowledgement arrived in the mutual entrance, nasty neighbour confronted us and demanded we sell up, he wasn’t living next to no pig. We were totally honest with the agent, yet still someone bought the flat!

I fantasised about having his feet nailed to the floor while I took huge swings with a Le Creuset frying pan at his head. It’s made me phobic re neighbour noise and I’m sorry to say I still can’t stand to hear a South African accent (he was from Durban).

Oddly, it made us move up a grade as we bought a little two up, two down house in a quiet street, sheer bliss. We spent a year just jumping at every noise but finally realised that we could relax.The house rose dramatically in value so we sold to buy somewhere bigger at the end of the year. In a weird way, he did us a favour, but I’m now worried about ever moving or getting new neighbours. I think I’d only ever move rurally, to a detached property!

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francienolan · 15/05/2020 23:05

We moved away from our nightmare neighbor two days before lockdown, thank goodness. I had been working from home for a couple of weeks and it was hell not getting a break from his awful weed smoking, yelling at his kids, and his playing Phil Collins so loud my walls shook. Such a nightmare, we only stayed because it was a rental and relatively cheap so we could save up for a house.

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