To ask if you like your siblings

[User5672]

Me and my sibling were close when children but now don’t really get on.

[Want2beme]

Notimeforaname Want2beme your sister sounds a lot like mine too. Sorry to hear that. Actually, putting it in writing has made me realise how distant we actually are. It's a shame, really. It would be great to have a good relationship with my big sister.

User5672 thanks for starting this thread. It's very interesting to see how much families differ.

[MsVestibule]

One sister I love and get on well with but have had a couple of horrible arguments. So upsetting that if she was 'just' a friend, I'd have cut contact.

My other sister, I don't like at all. She's controlling and manipulative with my parents but I don't think they see it. She would constantly put me down (and still does now) but it actually took me years to work out that she is just really unpleasant to me and lovely to most other people. Once our parents pass on, I will have as little to do with her as possible. I'm jealous of people with great relationships with their siblings 😕.

I don't think my DD and DS will be close when they're older. They have very, very different personalities and it's hard to imagine them being friends. I really hope that they can maintain a cordial relationship for my sake!!

[EineReiseDurchDieZeit]

@Notimeforaname

I know people on Mumsnet say narcissist is bandied about to often on here but to discover about NPD on here - god the sheer relief of it.

The wider family don't see it because she is very good at hiding it, usually behind tall tales.

A really good example of stuff I see through and my family doesn't is in her friendships. A particular couple becomes flavour of the month and is constantly spoken about, as well as ALL I DO FOR THEM. Suddenly they are dropped and never mentioned again and if asked after a story which paints them in a very poor light and her in a great one is told. Everyone is jealous of her if you ask my Mum

I genuinely think she has shagged a couple of the husbands or tried to and got caught.

I feel like because I've been so relentlessly targeted by her, I think I have a truer idea of what she really is, because what defines a persons character is the worst they are capable of when on their best behaviour and for her that's mind blowing vindictiveness

[Noworrieshere]

I like my brother well enough but I don't really know him any more tbh. I don't know his wife at all, she's a closed book and no matter how hard I try I can't seem to find a connection with her. She and db are inseparable so it's tricky. I should try harder.

[Fruitytootie]

Older sister never really liked me. We're better now I'm an adult and she's lives hours away, but if we weren't related we would be friends.

My two older brothers seem to think they can tell me their opinions about my life. And that of my DP's as well despite not really knowing him.

So I guess no, I don't like them very much!

[Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese]

Used to argue so much growing up, me moving in with DH and him going to uni was brilliant for our relationship.

We're so close now, he lives in New York and we WhatsApp every cople of days and facetime weekly, dd adores her uncle and when he comes back to the UK they're as thick as thieves.

[DontStandSoCloseToMe]

Yeah we were close as children, drifted a bit as teens/early twenties, but we text multiple times a week now and usually meet up every week or two with our children/spouses. We don't have a huge amount in common in terms of superficial likes etc but we do have a shared sense of humour, family priorities and are always always there for each other when needed.

[Jayaywhynot]

One of my sisters set her bully boy husband on me after we disagreed on something, it was like an all out war by them against me. It was a relentless campaign of terror, we all worked together so they would get at me at work, barge into me, push me about, tried to slam doors on my fingers a couple of times until I wished up and kept my hands out of the way. They started a smear campaign at work, people believed them as who would make up the sort of lies they told, this led me to keeping quiet as I felt no one would believe me. In desperation I turned to my family, mum and two other sisters but they said they didn't want to get involved so I was basically ostracized. I went to my mums once and she blocked my entry to her house as they were there which just reinforced in their heads that it was ok to treat me like that. Eventually they got divorced and my sister and I started talking but she would never discuss what they did. For the last 10 yrs that sister expects me look out for her, give her money, taxi her around and when I dont do what she wants she shames me on social media. All this happened about 15 years ago but even now it still affects me, makes me feel worthless and as the family wouldn't support me I have always felt like I no longer belong . Why do I still do stuff for that sister? Because I dont want to upset my mum, my mum that wouldn't help me during the worst period of my adult life. Im pretty pathetic really

[TheGinGenie]

We mostly get on but we have quite different interests so I often find her conversation quite boring and vice versa.

[Notimeforaname]

EineReiseDurchDieZeit we definitely have very similar stories. Right down to the parents believing everyone is jealous of sis and nobody else being able to see what's she's doing but you

And if you open your mouth and try to say somthing or warn your parents ... You look like the deranged lunatic your sister told them you were. 🙄 That's my experience anyway.

I know people on Mumsnet say narcissist is bandied about to often on here but to discover about NPD on here - god the sheer relief of it Exactly this!! It took 30 years for me to realise. I felt weirdly vindicated after finding Dr Ramani and reading all she'd written on the subject.

[malificent7]

Love my sister but don't always get on....i think mum used to make me a bit of a scapegoat which didn't help. I love her boys...both delightful.
We hardly see each other. Id love a best friends kind of situation that many have but i don't have it sadly.

[Orangespike]

I love my brother and sister to pieces. We are all very different people. None of us are perfect and disagree sometimes but they make me feel safe that there's always 2 people in the world that will help me and love me no matter what. And absolutely no one makes me laugh like them 😃

[Notimeforaname]

Jayaywhynot what you said about your mum/family not wanting to get involved and you having to keep the peace really hit home with me. And about feeling worthless and without a place in the family.

It's terrifyingly lonely being the scapegoat.
I hope you will heal from it.

Do look up Dr Ramani if you have the time or head space. She really helped me understand and accept there's nothing wrong with me.

[StepAwayFromGoogle]

Love my DB to pieces. We didn't get on that well in our early teens but got closer and closer as we've grown up. Don't see each other that much now with life etc. but would be there for each other in a heartbeat.

[ParkheadParadise]

Yes i like all my siblings.
I'm the youngest of six. I see my sisters more than I see my 2 brothers. I'm also very close to my niece's and nephews.
All my siblings have always been there for each other.

[Serenity45]

I'm the eldest of 6 with bigger age gap for youngest 3 (I'm 40s they're early 20s). 3 sisters 2 brothers. Bloody love them all to bits and feel v lucky we all get on so well. Quite rare we all manage to get together (spread out across the UK) but when we do we have such a laugh. We have each other's backs and genuinely like each other.

Might have knocked my next younger brother's tooth out fighting when we were kids...

[monkeyonthetable]

I love mine. I have loads in common with my brother in terms of our interests so we can talk for hours when we meet. My DSis and I are very very different in almost every way but we just love each other and both work hard to find common ground. Also she is very funny, so we end up cackling down the phone. Wish I saw them more. Opposite ends of the country.

[Happyadventurer]

I have 2 brothers. 1 I am emotionally close to. I love him and I know he loves me. We are fairly low contact because of distance but we make a point of seeing each other a few times a year and we are in frequent email contact. My other brother I haven’t seen for 16 years and I’m happy with that. There was always stress and drama that went with him and I used to dread him turning up at my house. I care about him, I want his life to be happy and settled but I don’t think it ever will be. There’s nothing I can do to change that and I am really happy that I dont have to worry any more that he will just turn up. He wore us down for years and I am happy to not have him in my life anymore.

[Summerof699]

No I hardly ever see them and dont get on with them at all. One is an aggressive bully, the other I just dont have anything in common with other than having the same mother.

[katie43210]

My brother is 2 years older than me. All my life he stood in front of me to make sure I never got hurt. It's been 20 years and he still does the same. He's my everything and my hero... But my god he's fucking annoying...

[whydoesitalwayshappentome]

My sister is great (and I am not just saying that because she is on mumsnet). We live quite a distance away from each other but if we need a chat we get straight onto messenger.

[AramintaLee]

My brother and I used to be close when we were young. As we've gotten older and my brother has turned into an unbearable, self-centred narcissist, we've grown apart. We probably see each other once a year (if that) and usually it's due to Christmas or a birthday.

It's one of those weird things isn't it? Like you're expected to be close to your immediate family, but what if you just don't mesh with them as people? I consider my closest friends my "siblings". My brother is someone I grew up with and happen to share parents with. That's as far as it goes really. Bit sad I guess, but I'm sure a lot of people are in the same boat!

[Tootsey11]

No.

[Seren85]

My sister (four years younger at 31)is absolutely my best friend. We fought so much growing up but ended up both experiencing a heartbreak at the same time aged 16 and 21 and we've been best friends ever since.