Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To be ticked off that DD is 'punished' for being good?!?

42 replies

cocolepew · 18/09/2007 20:21

DD, aged 9, came out of school, crying, yesterday because the class were't allowed to go to P.E because a ' couple' of boys were mucking about at fire drill. Then the class were told that they wouldn't be allowed breaktime ,the next day(today), because the same boys were being too noisy. They would have to stay inside and write lines. I went back to the school and had a 'talk ' with the teacher. Anyone else think this is a 'reasonable punishment'(her words)?
DD hasn't settled in to the new term very well, for the first time ever. The teacher is a sub. and she just pissed me off.

OP posts:

2shoes · 18/09/2007 21:14

just read the op
Have never understood the no PE punishment. used to annoy me when ds was at primary. I mean they wouldn't take away maths and PE is important

Original poster

cocolepew · 18/09/2007 21:33

Thanks for the replies. Better go and watch t.v. with dh, in case he's forgotten I exist. Damm you MN!

OP posts:

wheresmysuntan · 19/09/2007 17:50

Your poor dd. Totally unreasonable and lazy punishment. I used to hate this sort of thing when I was a child ( well behaved and quiet). There would have been no way peer pressure would have worked because the trouble makers were also the bullies and no way was any peer pressure going to affect them!This teacher must have known who the cuprits were and should have punished them alone. Perhaps she is too scared of their parents' reaction !

LadySanders · 19/09/2007 18:10

on similar topic, my ds (aged 6) has several kids in his class who are always causing trouble, same boys every time, but they are also the ones who always get singled out for praise when they do behave, often see them coming out with "X has been a good boy today" stickers & certificates, which is incredibly demoralising for hte kids who are 'good' every day... totally understand the carrot rather than stick approach, but it seems really unfair that ds (and other kids in class) doesn't get rewarded for his consistently good behaviour...

HonoriaGlossop · 19/09/2007 18:13

I agree it's a crap punishment. I don't believe it actually WORKS. It's putting the onus on the other kids in the class to do the teacher's job, ie deal with these boys who are misbehaving. The teacher needs to have strategies that are specific and targeted at the individuals.

i agree it's lazy thinking.

Original poster

cocolepew · 20/09/2007 19:01

LadyS, This is something else that bothers me. DD is very small and quiet for her age, with some speech problems. But she is bright(not gifted, by any means), but she's in the top group and works hard. I've found in the past that this works against her and she's just left to get on with it. The school does have a good behaviour certificate which is given out in assembly, but you can only get 1 a year. On her english homework, the teacher has written 'fab answers'.Fab?!

OP posts:

TellusMater · 20/09/2007 19:03

Oh I write 'fab' on children's work too. It's one of my things. Do I get away with it because I'm a Science teacher?

pointydog · 20/09/2007 19:08

I write fab sometimes too.

What of it.

pointydog · 20/09/2007 19:10

I disagree with whole class punishments. I wouldn't be happy if it happened more than once or twice and would speak to school. Esp the gym thing.

However, to say 'if you can't control a bunch of 9 year olds you're in the wrong profession' is below the belt.

kindersurprise · 20/09/2007 19:13

When I was in P6 we were not allowed to walk on a certain patch of grass (don't know why this particular bit of ground was out of bounds, it just was). One day some of the other children were bullying me and I ran over the grass to get away from them, they followed. We were all hauled up infront of the class and told that as the teacher did not know exactly who had been on the grass, the whole class would be getting the strap on Monday. This incident occured on Friday. I was sick all weekend until my mother made me tell her what was wrong.

She went into school on Monday and created hell. It still makes me mad to think that the teacher said that she never intended to punish anyone, it was to "teach the children a lesson"

To think that this kind of punishment(albeit without the corporal punishment) is still considered to be acceptable makes me and

One thing that I do remember is that my Mum was there for me and she fought in my corner. Well done Cocolepew for doing the same, your DD will not forget it!

TellusMater · 20/09/2007 19:14

My ds is 'good'. He has no problems with children who have more difficulty than he getting stickers if they manage to behave themselves. He thinks they have done well to reach their target. He got rewards for getting himself changed for PE. He was the only one in the class who couldn't do it. The other children didn't all demand stickers because they could get themselves changed already. A fair individual target system works well. Sometimes parents view it with a bit of a jaundiced eye though...

Piffle · 20/09/2007 19:19

keeping kids in due to others misbehaving might be reasonable but having the others do an actual punishmetn lieke lines is beyond the pale IMO

Original poster

cocolepew · 21/09/2007 19:48

I have no problem with children whether 'good' or 'bad' getting rewarded for trying. I do have a problem with children who are just downright cheeky/can't be bothered getting rewards to try and keep them sweet. My dd doesn't want to do homework, she does because she knows she has too. A boy in her class never does homework , then he did a small piece, and a whole song and dance was made of it-in front of the class- about how great he was. Fair enough praise him to get more positive results, but what of the others sitting there having to clap him for doing something they do every night?

OP posts:

PondusLector · 21/09/2007 19:55

Cocolepew, what if that little boy didn't have parents who encouraged or enabled him to do his homework, as your dd obviously does? Little ones are not often self motivated at this age, his mum or dad might not even know or care he has homework. It can represent a massive achievement for that one child to bring in homework. That is why teachers try to praise children like that.

Original poster

cocolepew · 21/09/2007 20:38

The teacher should encourage the child, be it praising, star chart, written words of encouragment etc. But getting the class to clap someone who is disruptive and doesn't do their homework is a bit confusing for some children. My dd is having a hard time coping at the moment and it's been very hard on all the family so maybe I'm just a bit over sensitive at the moment. I don't mean to offend anyone.

OP posts:

PondusLector · 21/09/2007 22:09

don't think you offended anyone cocolepew, hope your dd feels better about school soon.

btw, thought that it was very unreasonable to keep whole class in, not a good teaching method at all.

HorseyWoman · 22/09/2007 10:46

Don't see the point in this myself, because the boys aren't actually being punished much themselves, if everyone else stays in as well. If everyone else went out then they would be more gutted. Also, widely, lines aren't thought of as acceptable now because of children's rights; they also don't do much to change behaviours, which is what is needed really. What I have found in the schools I have been in is having a merit system for good behaviour and then a system whereby the teacher puts names on the board of those misbehaving. The names on the board lose 5 minutes of friday golden time, and the time they lose increases each time they are told! They can, however, earn back golden time by being really good. It works really well. Shouting, lines and whole-class punishments don't prove or solve anything.

Flip

1 2