to get p*ssed off with the mother who held up an entire shoe-shop full of busy people for 20 mins getting her 3yo to decide which shoes he preferred?

[frogs]

Well am I? My child-shoe-shopping technique involves (a) casing the selection while waiting (b) having the child's feet measured (c) request a couple of suitable styles in the appropriate sizes and (d) paying up and getting the hell out of there.

Clearly I am unusual in this, as the norm seems to involve spending 30 mins pissing about getting your 3yo to try on half a dozen pairs of shoes, all of which fit adequately and look pretty similar, while endlessly encouraging him to speculate about which pair might be cooler, all the while completely ignoring the 6-person queue building up behind you. The shoe-shopping trip before last we were even treated to a mother on her mobile having a three way conversation between her, the child (maybe 6yo?) and Daddy in the office about the finer details of which trainers to buy.

There are so many of these ruddy women around, surely I can't be the only person who just wants to fling themselves to the ground shouting, "He's three years old! He doesn't care! Just buy the effing shoes and get out of here!"

I thank you.

I take 5yo DD to a small independent shoe shop locally. It is never very busy, and if it was I would go back another time as soo close. They do take their time there, carefully fitting shoes. It can take 15-20 minutes at times.

With DD this summer it was a pain getting her school shoes as her feet are different sizes, by almost half a size. So she did need to try several pairs on, and then try some one with inlays inside one as well.

For those waiting there are plenty of toys and books for children to play with, so they don't get bored.

They are very good though and definitely worth the wait.

Eve - umm Bicester village on a Saturday is the gateway to hell you know! I wouldn't do that and I'm a 'take no prisoners' shopper who will run over anyone who gets in my way with DDs buggy.

OP - YANBU but my strategy is 'do you want this pair or that pair' and the choice has to be made within two minutes or I will be buying shoes for me and not for anyone else.

The point is that you look at the shoes and solicit your DC's opinion before it is your turn. Then you have time to negotiate a shared preference and you can say to the assistant "we are looking for those or something similar". I have a fussy 3yo but find some psychology can be applied (such as the referring to them as trainers method described below - genius btw ). Another trick is to say they are like, or "a bit like" somebody else's shoes. DD always falls for that.

Blame the shop for not having enough staff.

Actually my dd2 is a bit of a primadonna wrt clothing (and pretty much anything else). But since she's starting school next week I was able to play the "Sue (the teacher) says you have to have Velcro shoes/proper shoes/warm shoes" card, which she swallowed hook line and sinker.

I agree with vvv, even if I wouldn't let my dc take 20 mins to decide which shoes are the coolest (shivers at the idea of a 3 yrs old already talking about "coolness")

Hmmm. Think you are. Happens all the time round these parts.

When I went to get DS's school shoes it was mega busy (ticket 82 and serving 64) with about 6 assistants on, and I was chatting to the mother of ticket 83 beforehand. I had sorted out with DS which shoes he wanted (a pair of very sensible Startrites so I went along with them), and we were sorted so quickly (bearing in mind DS is a H fitting so not always straight forward) that no 83 was served by the same assistant as us.

YABU. I don;t give my children much choice to be honest but I always spend around 20 mins deciding which ones they should have.

If you are spending that sort of money, you need to be sure that what you are buying is right.

I let my son choose his clothes if hes with me, ill say this or this.

I don't see why they shouldn't have a chioce if they are interested.

I bought him clarkes shoes at about 2yrs and he screamed when i put them near him,

so he chose spiderman shoes from wollies and wore tham happily.

YA totally NBU.

And while we're on the subject I have to share that I nearly died laughing this morning on the walk to school with ds, we were behind a mother and her (approx five year old) dd, the mother said "We'll go to Clarks for your shoes after school today darling" Child replies "Yay, hooray!"

cue Honoria falling to the floor laughing at this utterly clear divide between the sexes. i think I can guarantee you now that my ds never has, and never will in his entire life, say "Yay, hooray!" when told he is about to go shoe shopping

My children both have very wide feet so there's never any "choice" anyway. I've often eyed up a nice pair of shoes pointlessly and now automatically ask the assistant to "bring out whatever fits". This is sometimes 2 styles, 3 if we're very lucky.

I then say (if I like them both ... if I only like 1 pair, I lie and say (while winking at the assistant) that the unsuitable pair is the wrong size after all): This one or that one
DD (3, nearly 4) says: That one
I say: Okay
DD says: No, that one
I say: One more chance, or I choose
DD says: That one

I stand up, pay up and get out as quickly as possible at that point before she starts farting about any more. If nonsense does ensue, I threaten to leave without anything at all which always works one way or another.

Sorted.

oh I so agree with you frogs.

I think some mums see it as a 'day out' (ie quality time spent with toddler!!) and then totally hog the assistant, oblivious to the huge queues waiting.

I mean fgs a shoe is a shoe, a 3 year old is well a 3 year old!

I am with you 100 per cent.

Actually while I think frogs is NBU I have to say my 3yo adores shoe shopping. And was most put out when I wouldn't let her have her feet measured when we were getting DS's shoes.