to think there should be a simpler way of going to the loo with a toddler and a baby

[michie40]

Just had to drop DH at the airport and had to stop at a motorway services on my own with my 6 month dd2 and dd1 3yrs. Got into the toilets desperate for the loo and suddenly thought how on earth am I going to do this. Had to sit dd2 on the cold stone floor propped up by my bag and ask dd1 to sit next to her and stop her toppling. Then had to balance on the loo frantically trying to stop the two of them pushing each other whilst dd2 tried to grab dd1s hair. There has to be an easier way. Why don't they design cubicles with additional seats and play things. How do people normally cope with this? There should be special facilities. Am I being unreasonable?

As a disabled person, I have no worries at all about you using the disabled loo in these circumstances, as long as
a) you get on with it, and vacate the loo in reasonable time (but why wouldn't you?)
b) you leave it clean and as you would like to find it. And if it was horrid before you went in, PLEASE report that it needs cleaning, rather than being ashamed of using it, and scuttling off.

Most of those of us in the disabled community are quite able to appreciate other people's difficulties, and we are considerate enough to share.

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Our local shopping centre has a cubicle with two toilets in it - a normal one and a toddler one. Lovely. Nowhere to put the baby though.

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oh, and BTW, this problem is even worse for dads out with their LOs, cos men have fewer cubicles, which are often even smaller. Often baby-changing is thru a ladies loo as well.

I certainly agree that there are limited facilities for 'parent and child toiletting'

there was a huge long thread on this recently. If you're out shopping with a buggy then the ONLY option is to use the disabled toilet, unless there is a dedicated parent and baby toilet. And I do use it, and have never inconvenienced anyone.

Just as an additional justification, where do you think a dad would change a baby if the changing stuff was in the ladies?

There HAS to be either a joint facility of disabled loo/parent and child, or a separate facility. It's not reasonable to expect people to leave their children unattended in a buggy in a busy public place like a shopping centre toilet. Would be the easiest thing in the world to walk off with the child.

xpost clumsymum!

andiem - i meant like a disabled person soiling themself in public because i had stopped them from getting to the toilet in time.

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yes cod i don't like it either but i didn't want to put shitting themselves or pissing themselves, it was the least offensive thing i could think of.

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I'm sure most disabled people are happy to queue like everyone else - what if there were two disabled people waiting to use the disabled toilets - they'd have to then. I have never ever come out of a disabled/baby changing facility loo and seen a disabled person waiting to use it - other people with children yes. I would always offer it to a disabled person (or person with younger baby) if we got there at the same time, but it has never happenned. i think the fact of the matter (and ditto with the great parent/toddler versus disabled parking debate) is that there are simply far more parents with babies/toddlers than there are disabled people likely to be in any place at one time. I really don't see why resonable people can't share these facilities if separate ones ren't provided.

But surely people shouldnt have to use the disabled ones - it's time Mother and Child Toilets were provided, there are so many of us!! I imagine in Shopping Centres there are many more Mothers shopping with their children than men but the mens facilities are always the same size, and they don't need to have so many cubicles for a quick wazz. Why don't they chop a bit off the mens facilities and give us a nice Mother and Child toilet like in John Lewis's.

Barbamama and others - please DO NOT assume that the mother and child waiting outside the toilet are not disabled just because you don't see a wheelchair.

It very easily could be me and my ds who looks 'normal' - sadly he ain't. What YOU and OTHER can't see is the catheter he must empty at certain times of the day as he is doubly incontinent.

I get totally sick of people assuming disabled = wheelchair.

I have asked (several times) for the key for the disabled toilets when out and about with two small children and never been refused.

Blimey talk about a lose/lose situation for mothers: leave the baby outside the loo or anywhere on their own and you're guilty of dangeous abandonment, (see threads passim) use the disabled loo and you're accused of misuse of disabled facilties.

Wtf are parents supposed to do? Travel in twos at all times? Oh yes, AND walk to school/make sure you earn enough to not claim benefits/join the PTA/insert ridiculous expectation here

When with kids I use the disabled loos if I have the pushchair. It's much quicker for us all. Plus I can keep an eye on them as some ladies loos aren't clean. Also the changing table unit is often in the disabled loos. If no table then there is floor space to do a change.

So, people who don't think parents should use the disabled loo, what do you suggest?
Pissing yourself? Leaving the baby in the car? Leaving the baby outside the loo? Bringing it into the tiny cublicle (not pos really)? Come on, tell us, please

You can just imagine the headline 'BABY ABANDONED IN TOILET - SNATCHED AS MOTHER PEED'

WWW where I go shopping there are usually several cubicles not just the one, I have to take the Pram in and leave the cubicle door open with the pram next to me, there si no modesty when you are a woman lol. If there is only one toilet I wouldn;t dream of leaving my pram outside, these are the cases where adequate toilet provision is needed.

I would never advocate leaving a child outside unattended, and I don't think anyone has suggested that at all.

I have used a normal loo before now and left the cubicle door open with buggy wedged in the door frame
(I have no shame and can pee in public)

I would NEVER change a baby on the floor of a toilet

Put one in a front sling (eg//ergocarrier 6m+)and one on reins and back pack for stuff or use the disabled toilet.

The disabled toilet is their in my opinion to assist people who have mobility difficulties and need extra space to transfer or need the extra space to enable carers to assist them, that is why they are bigger, and therefore if you are a carer and the person you care for has mobility difficulties or read mum and baby then it is okay to use them.

Either that or leave the door open so everyone can see you pee!

Do you fine that if you use the Disabled toilets you really dirty looks of the older folk??? It makes me feel guilty but what the hell are you supposed to do?? I have DD (5) and DS (2) so know exactly what you mean.

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Hm...where the disabled loo's are also the chagning fascilities, the right is equal, imo. Because it is meant for both.
Indeed going to the loo with Baby and toddler in tow can be rather challenging...now, that both mine are Toddlers/pre-schooler, it's easier...I can just leave the Buggy outside the cubicle (if I have one) and take both Kids in with me...cramped but works o.k.!
Don't think you can compare this to the Parent parking and disabled parking at all...completely different issue...
Oh, and where the Disabled loos are not meant to be the nappy changing room, but no toilet in the changing area...well, that should be changed...!