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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To request that a parent be asked not to bring her dog onto the school playground?

77 replies

nodogsallowed · 11/09/2007 17:15

My DD started back at school this week and I noticed that there is a new mum at the gates who has a visual impairment and has a guide dog. The general school policy is that dogs are not allowed past the school gates, but this mum brings the dog right up to the classroom to drop off her DS. My DD is terrified of dogs and has had a panic attack both mornings as even if she sees a dog it makes her histerical. I understand that the mum must need the dog, but the school playground is one place that children can be assured that there will be no dogs. Ibu to request that the mum not bring the dog in?

OP posts:
sixlostmonkeys · 11/09/2007 17:42

This has to be a wind up!

Totally and utterly unreasonable.

If she is having panic attacks then I suggest some therapy - it sounds like her phobia has gone too far.
If you haven't had contact with the visually impaired before now may I suggest that you both get out and about and discover more about what makes the human race so special.

geekymummy · 11/09/2007 17:42

great idea wannaBe and Aitch

geekymummy · 11/09/2007 17:42

oops I meant advice, not idea (too much stuff in my brain at the mo )

BBBee · 11/09/2007 17:43

not only are you being unreasonable but you are discriminating against someone who has a visual impairment.

Look at ways at helping your DD come to terms with her fear. I understand starting school is stressful and difficult and you are very focused on your DD but in the big wide world these kind of approaches that undermine and devalue the importance of people having rights to use aids to their disability is very damaging.

Good advice about getting her used to dogs but would make sure I did not make this woman feel that in any way it was inappropiate for her to use her guide dog anywhere.

Getyourownjuice · 11/09/2007 17:44

maybe panic attack = hissy fit as she is scared?

Different, my 9 yo is scared of dogs but tells everyone he is allergic!

wannaBe · 11/09/2007 17:49

wouldn't necessarily have said it was a wind-up - someone asked me in m&s once if my dog helps with the cooking!

but most prejudice is born out of ignorance, and the only way to overcome that is through education.

lisad123 · 11/09/2007 17:49

I think you need to address your dd fear rather than think others should change their ways for her. This woman needs her dog to get her child inot school.
Your DD will always see dogs in public, no getting away from it. You need to help her get over her fear rather than going round it.
As for guide dogs, my friend trains them and they are wonderful dogs around children and never jump up.

L

newlifenewname · 11/09/2007 17:50

doh! what do you reckon?

onlyjoking9329 · 11/09/2007 18:00

on first reading this i thought you were being reasonable. until i read that it was a guide dog, it is different. i do have a dog problem as i have a severe fur allergy, my twin girls are frightened of dogs and as they have autism it is hard to explain things to them, however we have sat in a coffee shop with a guy with a guide dog sitting at the side of the table and my girls were fine about it because it was still and quiet and they were ok if all dogs were as calm and as well trained then i am sure my girls would be fine with dogs.
please introduce your child to this dog as it will be the best opportunity you have to see a calm well trained dog.

i am very short sighted, if i were told i had to leave my glasses at the school gate i would not be happy. surley this is similar

MrsMarvel · 11/09/2007 18:01

What! A guide dog!!! How is the blind/partially sighted person going to get by!

sparklygothkat · 11/09/2007 18:57

is this for real???!!!

PSCMUM · 11/09/2007 22:08

YABU.

I hate dogs, like really, an the school my kids go to, there seem to be an alrming number of moron parents who have those vile pit pull looking staff bull dog things that look like they will eat oyou at a moments notice. And I would love to have the balls to ask the head to ban them.

But a guide dog? No. It is not ok, the school would not be able to do it anyway, as they have to comply with the DDA,disability discrimination act, and allow equal access to their site.

cluelessnchaos · 11/09/2007 22:10

This has to be a piss take, YABU and obnoxious

CarGirl · 11/09/2007 22:14

wouldn't the school be breaking the law if they refused to have assitant dogs on their premises/grounds???? I know shops/cafes etc would be.

MadamePlatypus · 11/09/2007 22:24

Assuming that this is a genuine post (and it is so unreasonable that I am a bit suspicious), I think that if your daughter is frightened of guide dogs, it is she that has a problem that needs to be addressed, rather than the mother with the guide dog.

scarymamma · 11/09/2007 22:27

Have to say I agree with platypus! Dogs are a feature of the landscape, like cars, trees etc. You wouldn't ask someone in a wheelchair not to come into school because a kid thought they were scary.

moljam · 11/09/2007 22:28

are you bored?

Alambil · 11/09/2007 22:29

how self absorbed?!!!

a GUIDE DOG is just that - it guides the lady to enable her to take her child to school... imagine if it were you - a little empathy goes a long way

Fantastic idea about approaching her though - you could ask her to put the dog "down" (as in lying down - not dead!!!) which makes it shorter than your dd

I am guessing the dog is a Golden Retriever or Labrador - they are relatively tall dogs for a small child - making it lay down takes away the "omg it's as big as me"

You could sit and watch the lady and dog walking around - show your dd what the dog does; not that it is "just" a dog; my son was fascinated to know that "working dogs" actually tell the person where to go without crashing into the lamp-post (he is 4!)

You could also approach some local dog training centres to help your child - see if you can go to the puppy lessons (small dogs then!) so she can see them all being dogs, behving - barking maybe, but nothing frightening - just noise (much like her laughing or shouting etc etc - make the dog seem to do things like she does... speaking, listening etc)

there is nothing this woman can do about being blind, have some compassion (and not knowing about what guide dogs do is no excuse - you must have lived in a bubble to no know that a harnessed dog with a rigid frame isn't necessary to its owner)

Alambil · 11/09/2007 22:30

yes, CarGirl - they would be - it is discrimination

NKF · 11/09/2007 22:31

She has to be allowed to bring her guide dog into the school. Even me - dog hater extraordinaire - couldn't back you on this one.

harleyd · 11/09/2007 22:32

yabu

chipmonkey · 11/09/2007 22:48

YABveryU

islandofsodor · 11/09/2007 22:57

YABU. At my dd's school a mum regurlaly bought her Guide dog inside the school building. Not seen it this year, perhaps the child has moved to high school.

moondog · 11/09/2007 23:14

Good God.
Some people-!
Guffaw heartily at thought of Wannabe's guide dog helping her with the cooking though.
I can just picture him up on his hind legs,pinny around his middle,gently sauteeing some onions and taking an occasional sip of wine....

Dawnybabe · 11/09/2007 23:28

At the risk of being lynched I would tell the dd to stop being so silly. Explain what a guide dog is, and how it differentiates from a raving pit bull on the end of a lead held by a council estate hoodie wearing person.

And how the hell can anybody say 'I hate dogs'? That's like saying I hate people! Does that include tiny little puppies and big cuddly retrievers and intelligent sheepdogs and mountain rescue dogs.....

(...goes away to have a lie down)